Sirius couldn't sleep.
It was a common problem when someone told him about hs family's darkness for him to stay up all night and think about what he had heard.
The Weasleys went upstairs long before the ball ended. When it did, Cassiopea, Daphne and Kol were whispering to some boy in the shadows before he ran after his mother.
Blaise Zabini, he realized when he saw the mother.
Sirius turned his head to the door when it opened.
"You're awake?" Cassie asked. She was dressed in her pyjamas, her hair-braided in two braids. He took one look at her and nodded. "Can I stay? I had a nightmare."
"Sure."
Sirius made some place in the bed for his daughter and she laid down. She looked up at him with a soft smile. "Your bed is more comfortable than mine."
"Impossible," he whispered in the dark. "Your is softer. I'm sure of it." He smiled at his little girl. "What was the nightmare about?"
She shook her head. "I didn't come for late-night confession. Or at least not from this type."
"What type then?"
"I got drunk when I was 8," she admitted. "I was alone in... Aunt Andromeda's house. Remus was supposed to take care of me, but he had... Work. I guess he was watching over Potter."
Sirius had noticed that Cassie was calling Harry 'Potter' more and more these days. He didn't mind of course, but some other people did.
"Whatever it was, he didn't show up."
"Maybe it was a full moon..."
"No, the full moon was after two weeks. Whatever. Aunt Andromeda decided that I can do very well on my own. And I drank a whole bottle of fire-whiskey. Remus showed up an hour later. He said that I was laughing like an idiot, swearing, talking shit about most of the things I didn't understand back then. I don't remember anything. But it was worth it. For the first time I didn't feel anything. I was free. I was feeling epic according to Remus' words. "
She laughed at herself.
"I said that I was going to say to aunt Andromeda that he let me get drunk. So we kept it a secret."
Sirius listened once again. Once again he listened as his daughter was telling him the truth about her childhood. About the childhood he thought was so happy and beautiful.
But in reality it was nothing like that. It was break downs, going to psychologist, bad dreams and getting drunk.
"Then I drank a few times a week. Every single week. And my aunt never found out. Dora did. She helped me. She said that I was... That I had a problem. And she helped me," she repeated.
"I drank as well when I was a teenager."
"I was 8," she said. "I wasn't supposed to know what alcohol was."
Sirius didn't answer. He wanted to ask if there is anything else. Was there anything he needed to know about his daughter's problems.
But he didn't. He waited.
"I don't think I have ever wanted to drink so badly than today."
"Me too."
"Can I smoke?"
"Sweetheart," he looked at her, "you're an alcoholic. I don't think I should give you anything else than water."
"Dad," she turned to him, her hands shaking. "Do I think I am broken?"
He hugged her, kissed the top of her head. "Just as broken as a Black," he whispered. "Sleep now, my sweet."
"I can't."
Sirius froze.
"Every time when I close my eyes, I see her. Alice Longbottom. And you. And I hear over and over again. What can you reach, but never come back from?"
"Death," Sirius said.
"You repeated it when I said 'Death'. I am scared."
He thought about that but only for a few seconds. Right now the riddle wasn't important. Right now it was important for her to sleep, to have rest and to stay strong. Because the war was just starting. Harry, the Weasleys and Hermione were going to stay in Grimmauld Place for a very long time.
So Sirius kissed her head again. "Sleep. I am here now."
*******
The halls of Hogwarts were silent in the dark night. Although it was only 10 p.m Cassiopea couldn't hear the laughter and the running of the student as she walked to Pinkie's office.
"You called for me, professor?"
"Ah, yes. Come in," Pinkie said with a sly smile. "I suppose you have seen this."
Cassie sat down in an armchair as Umbridge gave her the newspaper. Massive Break Out from Azkaban!, she read. Cassiopea took a deep breath.
Fuck. She wanted to drink. She wanted to smoke or to kiss Kol, to have sex, to do whatever.
But right now, right now she was her, in the Pinkie's office because Bellatrix, Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange had escaped from Azkaban. Just as her father, almost 3 years ago.
"Yes, my friend Daphne showed it to me..."
"Don't lie."
"I don't. You asked me if I had seen it. I said I had."
"On September 2nd, in my classroom you said that Bellatrix, your aunt, was going to escape from Azkaban. Now she has. What can you say about this, Death-Eater?"
"I am not a Death-Eater!" Cassie hissed at the Pinkie, jumping from her chair. "You can ask whoever you want!"
Umbridge pointed hee wand at Cassie's neck. The girl carefully sat down, looking at the wand. She knew what was going to happen if she didn't answer the question the way Pinkie wanted.
She took a deep breath. "I am not a Death-Eater," she repeated slowly, following every single movement the wand made. "I can prove it..."
"I don't care," Umbridge said simply and laughed with that annoying laugh of hers. "The important thing is that I know that you somehow knew that Bellatrix and the Lestrange brothers were going to escape. How?"
Cassie shook her head. "It was the most obvious thing ever."
Wasn't the necklace or the paper helping? Where were her snakes? Where was Draco with his sarcasm and Daphne with her optimistic smile? Where was Kol with his warm hugs and kisses?
Where the Fuck were they?
"Was it?" Pinkie asked. "Or you helped them out?" Cassie shook her head, feeling like she was going to die. She felt empty and she wanted to cry in the face of Death. Is that what she was supposed to feel? "Talk, girl! Or I will be... forced to use some other ways of persuasion."
Cassie looked at Pinkie, raising her eyebrow. She was a Black, she reminded herself. Even if no one came, she would survive this. She is the daughter of a Death-Eater. She herself was helping Voldemort.
She would survive this.
"I repeat that I have nothing to do with Death-Eaters. Nor with Bellatrix."
"Well, if you're refusing to talk," Umbridge said, "you leave me no other choice. Crucio!"
Cassie felt the pain before she could really realize what was going on. She screamed, trying to get away from the pain, moving, but again the professor screamed again and again, "Crucio!"
Cassie felt her tears sliding down her face when Umbridge put down her wand. "Well my dear?" she asked. "Are you ready to talk?"
"I... Told you... That..."
"Crucio!"
Cassie tried to be as calm as possible, but the pain was unbelievable. It was getting worse and worse and every time she was begging for the death to come.
She screamed again and as the door opened a red light came from her chest and the pain suddenly stopped getting worse. She was shaking when strong arms hugged her.
Cassie opened her eyes. Kol was hugging her, stroking her hair gently. Draco and Daphne were pointing their wands at something behind Kol's back and there behind the two of them, there were three people. Dumbledore, McGonagall and Snape.
"What the hell happened?" Snape asked. "Miss Black..."
"It's OK," Kol whispered in her ear. "You're safe..."
"Cassie, did you kill her?" Draco asked, putting his wand away. His cousin lifted her head up from Kol's chest. Pinkie was laying next to the wall, unconscious. "Can we bring uncle Sirius as our teacher back!" Draco turned to Dumbledore.
"Not now, Mr Malfoy," McGonagall said. "Cassie, what happened, darling?"
"She... She..."
"Isn't it obvious?!" Kol screamed at the three teachers. "That... Thing used the Cruciatus Curse on Cassiopea! And you," he looked at Dumbledore, "you have the nerve to stand here as nothing happened to her! She was tortured for Merlin's sake! And all you care about is Potter again! You came to us, trying to find what happened to perfect little Harry!"
"Mr Greengrass!" McGonagall looked at him sharply. "You are disrespectful. Mr Potter did an..."
"Oh, is he, Minerva?" Snape asked. "All I hear the past few years is Harry this, Harry that. Can we note the fact that one of my best students was tortured?!"
Cassie was shaking on the armchair, not knowing what was going on. She looked at Kol. He never screamed. Not to anyone. He hadn't screamed even at his father, Cassiopea knew that. She was surprised, but she didn't say anything.
She could only see him. He came for her. They came for her. Her friends, her family.
Cassie wanted to laugh at herself for the thoughts she had five years ago. She thought that Draco was rude and an unbelievable idiot. Now he was her cousin, the boy who would come in the middle of the night just to help her search for a horcrux. She thought that Daphne was a girl obsessed with her looks. Now she was her best friend.
Cassie wanted to jump, to hug the three of them, to be close to them, but the pain she felt, the pain she could never forget was so much... She had never been through such a thing. Even when her mom 'died' she didn't feel so much pain.
"Love," Kol feel down on his knees in front of her. "Cassie, sweetheart, look at me." His voice was so gentle and full of love that she was wanted to fall asleep right there where she was tortured by the Pinkie. "Hey... Love?"
"Oh, Mr Greengrass, move!" Snape looked at Cassiopea. "Right. Miss Black, I want you to tell me your full name, age and parents' names."
Cassie looked to her friends. Didn't he knew that?
"Miss Black, if you please," Dumbledore said. "You have to say that so we will know where you are on the way to Alice and Frank Longbottom..."
"There is a way for her to..." Kol started hissing.
"10 points from Slytherin," Snape said. "They will become 20 if you continue with this, Mr Greengrass."
Kol looked at the head of his house, but shut his mouth.
"Now, Miss Black. Name, age and parents' names."
"C-C-Cassiopea," she said quietly. "Cassiopea Andromeda Black. I'm 15," she felt her hands shaking even more. The pain wasn't going away. "Sirius Orion Black and... Emma Alice Rosier."
"Good," Snape said. "Do you know who we are?"
Cassie nodded. "You're professor Snape. The head of the Slytherin house. Potion Master of Hogwarts. Those are the professors Dumbledore, the Head Master, and McGonagall, the Head of the Gryffindor house," her voice was so quiet and scared... She looked at Kol. "That's my boyfriend. Kol Greengrass. My cousin and my best friend - Draco and Daphne," she nodded at them.
"Good," Snape said once again. "Now. Your house."
"Slytherin."
"Very well."
Cassie wanted to say something else. He was saying this things like she was a little girl, who needed to be congratulated for saying the right thing.
"Where are you?"
"In Hogwarts!" Cassie said with normal voice which at that point was like yelling.
"Good. Mr Greengrass, Miss Greengrass, Mr Malfoy, take miss Black to the Hospital Wing while I am explaining to Sirius Black that there is nothing he has to do..."
Cassie didn't hear the rest of his words because Kol took her in his hands, carrying her in a bridal way. She knew that he had looked at McGonagall and Dumbledore with those deadly glare of him, because she heard the growl.
She stayed curled in his arms as the Snakes walked to the Hospital Wing. She took a deep breath. And again. And again.
She told herself the truths she was sure about. Her name was Cassiopea Black. She was 15 years old. She was a Slytherin. She was the only child of Sirius Black and Emma Rosier. She was a pureblood...
She looked up when Kol put her on the bed in the Hospital Wing. He immediately sat on some chair near her bed. Draco and Daphne sat on the edge of the bed.
"You can't stay here!" Madam Pomfrey said. "You aren't hurt."
Daphne looked at Draco and punched him. He kicked her and Kol "fell" from the chair he was sitting on. "I think I broke something," he and Daphne said.
"Bitch !" Draco hissed at Daphne. "Anyway. We are hurt."
The healer rolled her eyes and came near Cassie. She looked at her carefully. She asked her to take down her shirt so Madam Pomfrey could see if there was any physical harm on her body.
Kol hissed at Draco to turn around. "I AM HER COUSIN!" Malfoy screamed.
"Mr Malfoy! Scream like that one more time and I will send you to the Forbidden Forest!"
Draco turned around.
"OK, miss Black," Madam Pomfrey said. "There is no physical harm on your skin. Mentally, as I see it, you are alright. But you have to stay for the night..."
"But I..."
"No buts, Miss Black," the woman said. "You have to stay. Your condition is... Delicate. And if I let you go, there may be consequences in the morning."
"Like what?" Daphne asked.
"Like pain in the back, the pain from the curse returning, a headache. Not something that can break you," she smiled at Cassie. "Is your dad coming, dear?"
Cassie shook her head. She didn't know. Maybe. He would never let her suffer alone. He believed Harry, but he wouldn't let her alone. Because they were family.
And family meant always and forever.
"If he comes, I will lead him to you. If you aren't asleep, of course."
Cassie smiled as a thank you and looked at Daphne with that dry smile and face, almost breaking. She didn't let the pain and the memories from what happened in Pinkie's office come to her mind while she was in Kol's arms or in the armchair...
But now. Now it was coming back clear as day.
The pain. The name of the curse. Pinkie screaming it...
"Yeah, I brought some," Daphne smiled and handed her best friend a bottle full of alcohol.
"What is that, Miss Greengrass?" Madam Pomfrey asked from the other side of the room.
"Water, madam," Daphne smiled. "Drink up, Cassie."
And she did. It felt so right to drink right now. It felt like it was the best thing to do after you have been tortured by your DADA professor.
She handed Daphne the bottle half full. Her best friend smiled. "You are trying to stop. I'm proud."
"Nope. I suppose that dad will bring better alcohol."
Her friends laughed and Kol looked at her. "What the hell happened?"
Cassie told them about the questions which she had almost forgotten. She told them about the wand and the curse, but she didn't mention the pain and the feeling that death was better than this, the feeling she wanted to die right there. She didn't mention about the feeling that she would never be happy again.
She didn't said anything about what was going on inside her head. She didn't know how.
"That's it," she said. "How did you found out?"
"Draco came into the bathroom, shouting that you were in trouble," Kol said.
"The necklace?"
"The necklace," Draco nodded. "You're smart for your own good, cousin dearest."
"I made the necklaces for our family."
"Maybe, but deep down you knew. You can't survive without help."
********
"Are you drunk?" Sirius asked after a few minutes of looking at her, trying to find any scars from the torture. Cassie shook her head. "But you have drunk something."
"Yup. Daphne brought it. It's not exactly alcohol, but makes me feel better."
"I told you not to drink."
"It's either drinking or thinking about the pain. I choose drinking."
Sirius sat on the edge of the bed and once again looked all over her body. When he arrived, almost half an hour ago, Snape explained that everything had happened so quickly and Cassiopea was probably asleep. But as soon as Sirius walked into the Hospital Wing he saw one very much awake Cassie, reading a book, writing something in a notebook from time to time and drinking from some bottle.
She was very calm for someone who had been tortured.
Sirius understood that her mind was working differently from his, but the girl Snape and McGonagall had described was supposed to be shaking, to be scared, to look devastated.
He was stunned when he saw her so calm.
He was also amazed that Draco, Kol and Daphne weren't here. Maybe they were, but now they were gone.
"You need anything?" he asked.
"Yup. You to become teacher again. Seriously, dad, if something happens, there is no safer place than Hogwarts."
"Excuse me, sweetheart, but when exactly, Hogwarts was the safest place? When there was a giant snake in the castle? Or when I escaped and everyone thought that I was insane? Or..."
"OK, OK. I get it. But I'll feel safer when you are here."
Of course she did. She had been avoiding him the whole Christmas break. Even after their talk and now she was trying to make him come back.
No, Sirius realized.
She knew that Dumbledore would fire Umbridge as soon as there was another candidate for the position. And she was trying to find the easiest way to feel safer.
"I'll think about it. Next year. I am sure that she won't stay in Hogwarts. After all she is teaching you."
Cassie rolled her eyes. "I am a terrible person," she said. "But I can protect myself, my house and my family."
"The Slytherins can protect themselves very well. And as far as I know you are the best students in DADA. You don't need that little club of Potter's."
"That's not the point... You know what. I don't want to talk about this. I would like to have rest, to read and to talk to my father about something that something that we are both interested in. So can you please tell me what happens with mother dearest?"
"What could possibly happen with your mother?"
Cassie rose her eyebrows. "Is she dead?"
"Nope."
"Have you seen her or..."
"Cassiopea. Enough. Go to bed, my love. We'll speak in the morning
But both of them knew that there wasn't going to be a talk in the morning.