Nia- I'm bout to go and delete REWIND, Forever, Confused love and Toxic love 😭 I get tired of explaining the same shit, them books is really only for the people that followed along from Through It All 🙄💞
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September 10, 2020
10:00 p.m
Atlanta, Georgia
Continuing from last chapter —
Kentrell Desean Gaulden
I held Javen's hand as she screamed and cried while trying to give birth to our babygirl. This was my second time ever seeing this happen, it's been a while though so the feeling felt fresh.
She was screaming so loud but turns out she was doing it naturally , she wouldn't have had to if she would've took the medicine but here we are.
"Javen, you're going to have to push harder baby. Nothings happening." The doctor said.
"I can't."
"Javen, your baby is going to die if you do not push harder." My heart was literally on hold, I was hella nervous.
She sat up moving closer. She sighed before pushing once again. Tears just started dropping from her eyes, that's how much pain she was in.
"Good, keep going." They all encouraged. She squeezed my hand tightly before screaming.
"Almost there Javen! One more big push!" They put a small towel over her chest.
"1...2...3..." They started to count.
"The heads out mama, keep going." I would've looked down, but I didn't want to pass out.
"1...2...3...4...5." They quickly handed the baby to Javen making me smile.
"Good job mamas." I kissed her forehead as she stared at Journey who was crying loudly.
A lady handed me a pair of scissors guiding me to cut the umbilical cord.
"Wait this ain't gon hurt her right?" She chuckled.
"No-"
"You sure?"
"Kentrell, if yo funny looking ass don't cut this gohdamn cord I will punch the shit outta you." I laughed before cutting it.
"We'll give you a few more moments with her before we take her." Javen nodded.
"Journey." She smiled, she looked at me.
"I'm taking that damn medicine next time." She laughed.
"I love you."
"I love you too." I looked down at Journey as her eyes wondered around. Now I had two beautiful daughters.
September 11, 2020
2:24 a.m
Javen Khari Scott
I carefully took Journey from Kentrell making sure that I didn't wake him. He would not put this baby down after the nurses gave her to him and I wanted to hold my baby.
"Give me my baby back." I rolled my eyes.
"Shut up, you've had her for a long time." I said looking down at her. She was so beautiful and no doubt in the world she wasn't my twin.
"She was gon wake up any minute anyway so she can eat."
"No, she don't need no more food." I punch him in the shoulder. Journey was exactly 6 pounds, for her to be premature she was a fat baby. They said she probably would've came out to weigh at least 9 pounds and some ounces on her due date.
"Leave her alone." I chuckled, they wanted her to stay at the hospital for at least a week or two just to see how she's doing.
Every time my eyes landed upon my daughter I couldn't help but to feel proud, this was a fight. It was hard to deal with but with the love of my family and friends I was able to get through it and now I have a beautiful babygirl with my amazing boyfriend.
"Got a head full of hair mane." Kentrell smiled kissing her cheek. She woke up making me smile.
"Hey princess." She started to cry making me sigh.
"She hungry come on Jay!"
"Nigga, I got two kids. Don't start acting like I don't know what to do or I don't know what shit mean. I done been down this rode before, I promise." When I was pregnant with the twins people did that all the time and it was irritating because I hated help. Especially when I knew what I was doing and somebody just felt the need to confirm.
As soon as I pulled my breast out and positioned her correctly she immediately latched on.
"Fatass like ha' mama."
"You can go if you just gon bother us." He laughed.
He took ahold of my hand making me look at him.
"What?" He shook his head.
"Not one not two but three times, I thought I was gon lose you. Not one not two but three times I lost 3 kids we could've had." I wiped away the tear that fell from his eye.
"I got a lot to be thankful for." I smiled and then the door opened.
"Hey bitches." Skylar and DaiJianna smiled coming in the room with some gifts.
"Bitch, how the fuck y'all get in here?"
"What you mean? We asked for your room and told them we were your sisters." I laughed.
"Y'all irritating."
"Oh well, let me see the baby-"
"Bitch move she eating."
"When should she be done?"
"In like 30 minutes, why y'all asking me like y'all don't have kids?" They laughed.
"Sorry, it just don't look like mamas need no more to eat."
"If y'all don't leave my baby alone, she not even that fat." I pouted.
"Our baby beautiful Javen, ignore these hating ass HOES."
"Bae you not finna sit here like you wasn't saying the same shit." He laughed
"Shut up." I shook my head.
"Ok we bought y'all baby some things-" Journey started to cough harshly making me look down at her. Kentrell took her from me patting her back gently.
I watched her closely, I was growing worried. She soon stopped though.
"Awe, she could be sick." Skylar said rubbing her hand.
"Sick?"
"A normal cold Jay, don't think to deep baby. Sage had a cold like that when she was born. I think it's normal." I nodded.
"You still hungry mama?" She mugged me a little.
"Well excuse me little girl." I fixed myself up.
"Let me hold her-" DaiJianna said
"No, move back. We finna go back to sleep." Kentrell said.
"Stingy as hell." I laughed getting up to go to the bathroom.
I went in immediately taking this hospital gown off. I looked at myself in the mirror. My stomach had definitely downsized a bit but I was still big.
All the sudden I had the craziest flashback.
March 23, 2017
I sat at my vanity looking at myself in my mirror. I had just found out I was pregnant and I was couple months, 4 and a half to be exact. With a baby boy, I was excited but scared for not only my life but my child's.
"You need to tell him Jay." Winter said making me sigh.
"I can't." I looked down at my ultrasound pictures and the 3 positive tests I took. Danny and Winter are the only ones who knew about this and I wanted to keep it that way. I definitely didn't need Jonnie or my dad finding out.
Truth be told, I didn't even want this baby but it would be selfish of me to get an abortion. The baby didn't ask to be where it was, this was on me. I should've used protection, but in my situation there was no choice.
"Why?"
"Because Chris is aggressive, I don't want him to hurt me. Or my baby."
"See if you would just tell your dad about him he could handle Chris-"
"I am not telling my dad about him, he will kill him."
"Good." Danny said making me roll my eyes.
"Babygirl!"
"Oh shit, that's him. Here." I handed them the pregnancy tests and ultrasound pictures.
"Bitch what we suppose to do with these?" They whispered.
"I don't kn- bitch hide them."
"Where? In my bra?"
"That'll work." They gave them to me.
"Tell him." Danny said.
"No I can-" The door opened and he came in making me freeze.
"Wassup Winter, Danny." They smiled.
"We'll leave y'all alone. Call us Jay." They both hugged me.
"Now you have no choice." Winter snickered.
"Bitch get out." They rushed out the room and I sighed. Chris looked down at what I had in my hands then up at me.
"What the hell is this?" He asked and I shook my head.
"Nothing." I tried to put it away but he snatched it from me.
"Pregnant." He said aloud as he looked at the tests and ultrasound.
"Pregnant? Who pregnant?"
"Me Chris, obviously." He nodded.
"I see it's a boy." I nodded, then he ripped the ultrasound picture throwing that and the tests in the trash.
"Chris! What the hell is wrong with you?!" I yelled.
"Oh my bad ma, want me to put it back together for you?"
"Get out." A tear rolled down my face.
"Get out?"
"Yes, get out my house before I-"
"Before you what? I'll kill you and this damn baby."
"And yo ass will be in jail again."
"Not like they gon keep me."
Nia- Y'all from experience, well at least from my experience. They don't keep abusers, they only keep them for like a day or two. But again that's just my experience 😪
"Chris just leave." He moves his hand making me flinched but he only grabbed mine. He pulled me over to my long body mirror.
"You pregnant?" I rolled my eyes nodding my head.
"Is it mine?" I made a face.
"Why would you ask me that-"
"Because you for everybody-"
"I've only dated one guy before you-"
"Somebody gave you a STD before though right?" I sighed heavily.
"I've only been with 2 people my whole life, 3 including you." He nodded.
"You think I'm stupid? I had to get on yo ass a few weeks ago about talking to that Kain nigga right?"
"Yeah talking not fucking."
"Y'all ever did anything before?"
"Chris I'm not about to do this stupid question and answers with you." I pushed him away and he pushed me back roughly.
"Chris."
"Javen, you touched me first." I shrugged.
"Yeah because I wanted you to get away from me and I knew you wouldn't if I just asked." He came over to me.
"Chris."
"Ask-"
"Chris, Imma call the police on yo stupid ass if you don't move."
"Ask me to move, Imma show you how easy it is-"
"Chris please FUCKING move." I snapped and he backed away from me.
"You so bitch like." I looked down.
"I'm sorry."
"Man whatever, come on I want some pussy."
"I don't want to have sex with you."
"I didn't ask you what you wanted."
"You need to leave."
"Nah I'm gon stay, until I get what I want."
"Chris I said-"
"I don't give a damn about what you said, come lay down-"
"Chris-"
"COME LAY DOWN!" I jumped at the tone of his voice. I quickly sat down on the bed and she pushed me back.
"You so hardheaded for no reason."
July 11, 2017
I sat up in my hospital bed holding my baby boy Jalyn Cypher Scott. He was so beautiful and looked a lot like me but looked a lot like Jonnie which was funny to me.
The feeling of being a mom was wonderful, and I was glad to bless somebody with this feeling.
Yep, I was giving him up for adoption. He deserved a life full of love and light. Joy and peace, I wanted the best for him.
I would keep him but I need more than just my family's support I need Chris's support. I want him to love our baby like I do.
I don't want to bring our son home to a damaged family. That would be selfish of me to do to him.
"Hey Jalyn." I smiled as he stared up at me. I was in here all alone by choice. I didn't want to be bothered right now. I just wanted time with my son before his adoptive parents came to get him.
"You're so handsome." I kissed his cheek.
"I gotta make this quick because your new parents should be here any minute."
"I'm doing this for you. I want you to have what I didn't, which is love. I want you to grow up to be a well mannered little boy. A strong man, wise man. I want you to make mistakes but please don't make the ones that'll ruin your life. I want you to be something great. The only thing I ask if for you to be a better man than yo daddy. I love you so much Jalyn. More than words could describe. Mommy will never forget about you although you might not remember this face, I'll remember yours. Even when you grow old."
There was a small knock on the door before it opened.
"Hey Javen." His adoptive parents smiled. Kassidy and Kryce Williams were who they were. They were very nice people and I trusted them a lot. They were unable to have children so here I am blessing them with mines.
"Hey." I smiled.
"Are you ready?" I nodded with a smile.
"Yeah." I looked at him.
"Mommy loves you Jalyn." A tear rolled down my face and I kissed his cheek.
"I will see you again, I promise." Kassidy came over time as Kryce grabbed his bag.
"You can come see him whenever you would like Javen. Here's our card. Call us any time. It doesn't matter if it's years from now. Call us. You can always see your son." I nodded.
"Thank you." I took the card.
"Anything else you want to say?" I sighed.
"I love you Jalyn. That's all." She nodded.
"Thank you so much. Bye Javen." They hugged me.
"Bye." They left out the room and when the door closed I looked at my hands. I started to cry, the decision hurt but I didn't regret it. My baby was going to be happy. All I wanted was for him to be happy.
I looked at my chest, in beautiful bold words was the name Jalyn. A tear rolled down my face.
"I promise."