"What are you doing?" I asked with a curious tone and laugh as I try my best to see whatever was being written to my bare chest. "Is that a sharpie?"
"Ashton stay still." She pleaded with a chuckle, with her soft cold fingers touching my chest. I can't quite figure out what she's trying to write, or maybe draw something, on my chest with a use of a sharpie.
"There." My girlfriend pulled away and smiled, her eyes still focused on whatever was made on my skin. Since my eyes couldn't process whatever was on my chest, I took my phone from my bedside table and opened the front cam, and smiled at the fake arrowed heart tattoo she drew on it.
"Our hearts are located under our left chest part." I giggled, like I always do. It's beginning to actually seem like a mannerism now, but I don't care. She loves it when I do that. "You placed your name on the heart tattoo on the top of it."
She nudged me lightly while rolling her eyes, then moved over to my arms and rested her head in there. "Whatever, Einstein."
"But I like it." I stated, as a matter of fact. I always like the things she does.
Her head turned up to look over me, with her smile that never fails to make me fall every single time I set my eyes on it. "I know you would."
She moved a little bit to focus her eyes on the fake tattoo she drew on my chest, and without any warning, I was taken aback on how her warm red-stained lips touched my skin. She stayed there kissing it for what felt like a decade, and the feeling seem to always be such a new thing to my system. I still get the same chills down my spine every time I can feel her close to me, and I think that nothing could ever take that feeling away from my head. Not even the people who doesn't want us together.
She moved back to my arms and immediately wrapped me with her warm body. Silence then started engulfing around us, but it wasn't like the awkward kind of silent. We've been together for a time that my fingers could not count anymore, and I always enjoy whatever kind of presence she would have in front of me.
Nikki's family does not have any kind of interest towards me. I can't say that I don't know why, because I basically know every single detail about it, even if she denies that it's the exact reason why they don't want us to be together. I'm just that drummer who lives in a small apartment, like I've always been. I only get money off from gigs that my band goes to, but it's not enough to provide myself enough money to live and survive so I searched for a job that could help me out as well. I work as a crew in a fast food restaurant, and that's just it. I know that some people will always look down on me, basically because they think it's just only what I can be proud of. That I'm just a drummer, and a stupid boy who serves burgers and fries in a fast food restaurant. But little did they know, I have always been proud of myself. I'm proud because I'm alive. I'm proud because I can feed myself and survive on my own. I'm proud because I've got the best of friends that anyone could ever ask for. And of course, I am way beyond proud because I am in love with Nikki, and even though we've been through a lot of hell and shit already, she didn't let all those things to stop herself from loving me. She made me realize that even though this is only what I've got, I am still worth loving. And hell, I am proud of that.
It's half past midnight, and we're both still on our clothes we had on that day. We're currently in my apartment, where I supposed to be except for Nikki. No one among her family knows she's here, or maybe they do, but they couldn't just do anything about it. She sneaks out almost every night, and stay the night with me here and go back home every morning. Tonight, she seemed so off and in a hurry, but I didn't want to ask unless she opens about it herself. Nikki looks a lot like upset or something, but I don't have any idea why. I am guessing it's about her family again, about how they hate me for being "just me", but come on. I mean, that's not really surprising anymore. It's like a daily report to my ears now. I'm used to it.
"Do I still have extra clothes in your closet?" Nikki started talking again, breaking off the silence we had made. "These pants are itchy."
"Go check 'em. And you can borrow stuff from me if there aren't any." I replied, moving my head to look at the digital clock on my bed side table. It's almost one o'clock.
Nikki quickly stood up and made her way towards my closet, then started rummaging for anything without even minding if she doesn't have enough light to search for anything. After a few minutes she grabbed a piece of my boxer shorts, making me laugh on my own as I watch her, and my gray shirt with pineapples printed on it. I tried my best not to look like a pervert as I watch her get changed. I have seen her so many times doing this, getting changed and all, but it never really fails to mesmerize me. I mean yeah, boys will be boys. But it's different with her. I am being mesmerized with her beauty because I fucking love her.
She started stripping her ripped skinny jeans off and just threw it right away on the floor. She immediately then pulled my boxers on and then walked back to the bed with me while putting the shirt on.
"Enjoyed that little show their huh, Irwin?" Nikki stated with a smirk, pulling some covers on to keep her warm.
I rolled my eyes and secretly grinned, feeling myself blush a whole lot about the entire situation. It's embarrassing for her to see me acting like a girl but I guess she really just have that kind of affect on me.
I was expecting that Nikki would lay back on my arms and hug me again, but instead she snuggled herself up on her own with blankets and pillows surrounding her. I let her do whatever she wants, although I wouldn't mind at all if she wanted to talk and wait for the sunrise. I laid and rested my back against my warm bed, my eyes focusing on the weird pattern on my cream-colored ceiling. After a few more minutes of me thinking about random stuff, and a lot more stuff that I've been wanting to do, Nikki, whom I thought that was already sleeping, let out a deep sigh that somehow informed me that something wrong might be happening. She let out the kind of sigh that she's been wanting to tell me something, but she just don't know how to. It might sound weird how could I determine that, but we've been together for so long that it's not really that weird for me at all. Well yeah, we're both just twenty and turning twenty one soon, and I know people might be thinking that we're both too young to settle things down like we want to, but I don't know. For me, for us, love doesn't have a time limit. I love her.
"You okay?" I asked, my head turning to meet her eyes.
"I don't know, I-" Nikki let out a sigh again, her eyes focusing on the same view I was looking at a while ago. "My parents, they're-"
"You know we'll get through it, Nikki. I'm always here." I assured her with a smile, somehow feeling a bit of disappointment about how her family is trying to get in the way again. I don't want to seem rude and all but, do they ever get tired of shitting on us?
"It's different this time." She replied, frustration evident on her tone.
"What do you mean?" My eyebrows furrowed, feeling a bit of a heavy pressure happening on my chest.
Nikki sighed again, and because of the silence around us, I could hear her light sobs, if that's what it's called. "My parents, well uhm- they're taking me to LA next week."
I was shocked, I admit. But being the optimist like I always was, I smiled as I took her hand, intertwining it with mine. "I don't like it when you're away but you know I'm always here to wait fo-"
"Ash it's not like that." Nikki cut me off, her voice shaking a lot this time with tears slowly streaming down her face. "I'm forced to move in LA next week, and might probably settle down there permanently. Forever."
I looked away, not wanting her to see that in any moment I might just break down and cry. I swallowed hard whatever was forming in my throat. It's beginning to get hard for me to breathe as each second pass, and I couldn't process what I should do. I can't quite figure out what to say. Every single thing that is happening is starting to break my heart. I can't stand the thought of her being taken away from me, and now it's slowly beginning to happen.
"I tried to do everything I could, Ash." She started speaking again, and I don't want to hear how hurt she is. "But I can't do anything."
I didn't know why, but I just turned my back on her and closed my eyes and let the tears fall down my face. It's just starting to hit me that no matter how much I fight for her, for us, nothing can ever stop her parents from taking her away from me. I don't want to talk anymore, even though my heart wants me to shout and do more of whatever I could just to let her stay. But I guess I've done enough. And I don't know. I guess I'm tired, maybe.
I heard her let out a sigh again, and some random sound of her shuffling around the bed. I want to face her and just kiss her and spend the whole night with her, but I couldn't seem to move. Pride is eating the fuck out of me, and it's not really doing me any good.
"I love you." Nikki wrapped her arms around me, and kissed me that seemed to last like a lifetime. I wonder if this would be the last time I'll feel her lips against mine.
She pulled away and I remained facing nothing, my eyes still tightly shut. In about a few seconds, I heard my door open. And after a few more minutes, a car started igniting and my heart crashed as I hear her drive away from my apartment and far away from me.
I wish I could have done something instead of being an irrelevant prick.
*
1 week after
I remained sitting down at the edge of my bed, having a a small box in my hand and having no sleep at all. I can feel my chest getting heavy as the time passes by. I've been sitting here for heaven knows how fucking long, trying to get my shit together, and by now I still couldn't decipher what my heart really wants. I closed my eyes and raked my fingers on my messy hair, hoping that my final decision would end up being the best decision I've ever made in my entire life, and probably would end up being a successful one. I took another deep breath and opened my eyes, hoping that every strong vibe and good luck I could ever get would be such a good use for whatever is going to happen in about a few more minutes. I'm not sure if this is going to turn out like what I wanted it to, but I'm hoping with all of my heart that it would.
I love Nikki. I love her so much that the moment she walked out of my apartment that night, I realized that I want to spend the rest of my life with her being my wife.
I pulled on my sweater and hurriedly hopped on my bicycle, hoping it won't fuck up this time. Her flight to another country is in about a few more hours, and I know in about a few minutes she'll make her way to the airport. I shook my head at the thought of not seeing her at her house anymore. I need to move my legs a little faster because even though this would sound so exaggerated, my life is depending on how my bike and my legs would take me to where I am supposed to go.
After the ten minute bicycle ride to her house, I basically threw my bike to wherever it may fall without even caring if I'd still have it right after all this plan. I ran my way to their door, contemplating if I should still ring the doorbell or just barge in. Lacking the time to think, I absentmindedly opened the door and I got welcomed with lots of luggages and suitcases in front of me, with both of her parents checking all of them. I felt my whole body tensed up as I meet their eyes, but I tried so hard to look as tough and calm as I could, hoping that they would hear me out even just for ten minutes.
"What the hell are you doing here you stupid boy?" Her mum exclaimed, obviously shocked of how I just barged in. The statement didn't hurt that much. I'm used to it. I'm stupid anyways.
"Mrs. Lopez please just hear me out," I started speaking a bit faster, my breath seem to be chasing me. "Give me twenty or ten minutes please I just need to talk to the both of you."
Her mum looked disgusted on me like she always was, and a feeling of relief flowed through my body as the sight of her dad looking at me like he wanted to hear me out for the first time in my entire life. I stood up straight and straighten my shirt out as I try to encode what I have planned to say. I didn't want to stutter or say something stupid, so I took a minute long to get myself ready. After a minute that seemed like a lifetime for the both of them, I tried to focus and talked to them with my eyes meeting theirs, wanting them to see how honest and sincere I am.
"Ma'am, Sir, I know and I will always know that I am just that drummer who happens to be that stranger who saved your daughter's life that night she almost got hit by a bus." I stopped for a while, thinking if am I bragging or not. Maybe they just have to hear it again to make them realize that I saved their daughter who I'm actually in love with.
"It hurts for me that the own parents of the woman I love doesn't like me, or even trying to like me even just by a bit because I'm not that kind of person you want your daughter to get along with." I took a deep breath. Breathing is starting to seem like a hard thing to do as I let my thoughts roll out of my tongue.
"But you know what? I love your daughter. Even though I am only that drummer from a try hard band like you always remind me, I am willing to do anything just to make her happy. I may not have the car, or a big house, or the money, or that heavenly life that you're probably wanting her to have forever, but, man." I paused for a bit, somehow realizing I shouldn't have used the word "man". "I would do anything for her. I will find a job, I'll save up a lot of money just to make sure that she'll have that life that her parents always wanted her to have, I'll feed her, make her happy, anything. Everything, ma'am, sir. I love your daughter with all of me and if you'll give me a chance, just another chance, I will prove you. She makes me the happiest person in this entire cruel world, and I would do anything just to make her the happiest woman."
I stopped, probably because I can feel tears welling up on my eyes. I tried my best to stop myself from crying. It's the very least thing I would ever want to happen right now.
"Nikki is the best thing that has ever happened to me." I said as I looked down, starting to lose all the hope I have in me as the look on her mother's eyes never seem to change.
"Ashton?" A very familiar voice came in. And for being that cheerful, another hope grew inside me.
Nikki threw her arms around me and I quickly enveloped her in my own arms too. I can feel how happy she is to see me again, and the feeling of guilt started coming back to me again as the thought of not even trying to stop her that night kicked back inside my head.
"I'm so sorry Nikki I am so sorry for letting you go that night I'm so-"
"Ashton it's okay." Nikki cut me off like she always does, then kissed me right away in front of her parents.
"Why are you here?" She asked right after pulling away from me, probably not minding if we're doing this in front of the two people who doesn't want to see us this way.
This is it. I gulped down the imaginary lump that had formed in my throat as I back away slowly from her. Confusion started drawing obviously in her face as I slowly back away from where she was standing. The moment I made sure I'm already standing half a meter away from her, I gathered all the strength I could ever get before starting to talk and let my heart speak out.
"That night. That very first night I met you, I never knew that I would ever fall so hard for you. I have always thought of you as that spoiled brat who's not aware of her surroundings and won't probably mind if she gets hit by a bus. You're stupid."
I smiled as Nikki chuckled on her spot, her parents looking annoyed on what I just called their daughter.
"And I have always thought of that, you know? You're stupid. You're stupid that you're turning twenty one yet you cannot manage to handle yourself on the streets. You're stupid that you can't ride a bike and you can't even learn how to. You're stupid for burning my kitchen down for trying to cook eggs. You're stupid for not being able to do the laundry. And mostly, you're stupid for falling in love with that stupid drummer boy who works at a fast food restaurant who happens to be me."
I took another deep breath, not even minding if all eyes on this room is focused on me.
"But I'm happy. I'm happy that a stupid rich girl fell in love with me and made me realize that I am worth loving by a person like you. I love you, Nikki, and I want to spend the rest of my life teaching you how to ride a bike, or-or how to cross the streets, and how to cook eggs and-and how to do the laundry. I want to learn more things in this life and I want to learn and do all of them with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, no matter how hard things could get. Because I know, even if the president of the United States threw bombs around Australia, we would still laugh about it and stay together."
Nikki cupped her face, her eyes starting to get filled with tears. I licked my lips and took another deep breath, hoping that everything would turn out the way I wanted it to be.
"Nikki," I said, getting down on my knees.
"Marry me?"
It felt like a huge fucking thorn has been pulled out of my throat and out of my butt and my lungs the moment those two words that I've been dying to say rolled out of my tongue. I didn't look away from her eyes even though I could feel tears forming in mine already. I'm so scared that in any moment I might shit on my pants, but I'm trying to keep my calm and stayed as positive as I ever could. Nikki is starting to cry, and I couldn't seem to determine what look she has on her face. She faced me again, her hands covering her mouth. After a few seconds, that felt like an entire century...
"How can I learn how to ride a bike now? You literally threw yours away and it's broken!" Nikki started speaking with a laugh, with tears falling down her eyes.
Nikki ran towards me and helped me up, then kissed me right away as I felt my the tears run down my face.
"Fuck the system, Ashton. Fuck Obama. I will marry you."
Nikki pulled away from me, then walked towards her dad and hugged him tightly. It seemed so unbelievable for me, but it was all indeed real the moment I saw his father smiling at her, then right at me.
"I trust you." His father mouthed, and it felt like the best thing that has ever happened to me today aside from the fact that the woman I love said yes.
Nikki walked back to me, then immediately took my hand. I kissed her as the feeling of overloading happiness started to take over me. I couldn't seem to believe everything that is happening right now, but it is actually all happening right now.
"Let's runaway like we've always wanted."
She's all I ever want.
-
there goes the first song for my new fanfic, yaaay! i decided to make a new one because i basically don't have a life aside from writing and i want to make my favorite people by dedicating them one shot story each. i hope you guys will support me here too, like you did on Pretending and Fading and i am hoping that you all will like the stories i will make based off the songs from the 5sos album! thank you so much, you are all the reason why i love to write!
this story is dedicated to my friend nikki! follow her on twitter: @nikkilopezzzz :)