Track 11: English Love Affair

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My hands gripped tightly on the bars on my side as I feel the plane take off. I have been into many flights before, but this one seemed a lot different from the previous ones I had. I couldn't seem to find a perfect way to keep myself calm. I keep shifting from one spot to another, and I can honestly feel that the man seating beside me is starting to get annoyed that in any moment, he might go ape shit and just punch me straight on my face. I loosen up my leather jacket and decided to pop some mints on my mouth, and rested my head on the window and focused my eyes on the view outside. My eyes moved around, letting out a sigh for how calming the clouds looked like. The sun is setting on the horizon, and it's forming different kinds of colors through the sky. Different hues formed along the clouds, and how the combination of red, orange, blue, yellow and white scattered along the clouds made it even more fascinating to look at. I couldn't help but smile on how I could say things about stuff like this, maybe because that's just how my mind works as a song writer. I set my eyes on the bright side of the sun, squinting my eyes as I try to picture each view inside my head. The colors formed again, making me bite the insides of my cheeks. After what seemed like a moment, she went back running inside my head again.

I couldn't stop thinking about her. She won't leave my mind, not even for the little amount of time. It drives me crazy how I fucking despise it on how much I always seem to be thinking about her, yet it's the only thing that has been keeping me sane as well. Ever since I set my eyes on her, I knew by then that I will like her. She's way beyond beautiful, just like how the sunset and the horizon takes my breath away. She is a dream; an adventure that anyone for sure would want to take for she appears to be so mysterious, but you would most likely wouldn't want to take any risks because of fear. A fear that you could wreck her in any possible ways you could, because she is someone that should be taken care of, and the very least thing you would ever want to do to her is to make her feel shattered.

But what was done was different.

I am the one who feels shattered.

I am the one who feels wrecked for leaving.

I knew, all along, that I was the doing the wrong thing.

But with her, nothing else mattered and everything felt so right.

*1 week ago*

"Do you ever just face the mirror, and stand straight while looking at yourself, then ask no one in particular, 'am I really a high school graduate now?'" Michael began speaking about one of his dramatic speeches, with the soccer ball making a light sound as it keeps on hitting the ceiling of our room as he keeps on throwing it nonstop.

I let out a laugh, being on the process of taking off my tie out of my neck. "Is it because it's hard for you to believe that you actually finished it?"

Michael thew the ball at me, hitting me right through my arms but it felt nothing.

"Aren't you fucking happy, you dick?" He spat out, rolling out of the bed to probably get changed into something too.

"I'm happy because I'm finally coming back to Australia." I replied, my eyes all set on my set of clothes, still trying to find out what would suit me best for tonight. "And I'm not a dick."

After taking one of his shoe, he threw it again right at me just like he always does. My best friend is my personal bully and there isn't a day that I don't get to experience being one of his victims about his obsession to throw things towards people.

"You're a dick, an absolute one." Michael said, and I threw his shoe back at him. He caught it with one hand. "What's keeping you busy?"

"I'm not even busy I'm just trying to figure out what to wear." I answered.

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