Michael's POV:
When I tell you Jeremy would not stop apologising. I god damn mean it.
I came close to knocking him out one evening.
Yet he continued to apologise until I threatened to kick him out the house.
Violence is okay sometimes right?
"FUCK"
Honestly at this point I don't even react
Jeremy's in the kitchen attempting to make dinner, from the sound of it, it's going horrifically wrong
"What have you don't this time? Please don't burn down my house. Again"
"What do you mean again?"
I laugh to myself
"What did you do?"
"Nothing it's that bitch of a cat again"
I sigh and sit up. I've been lying on my back on the sofa for the last hour waiting for food. Jeremy's half an hour is reality's three hours.
I head into the kitchen and it honestly looks like a bomb exploded.
"What the fuck-"
"Just please get the god damn cat off the counter before he burns himself"
I smile and scoop pac away from sniffing the array of ingredients laid out across the table
"Come on you cheek"
I catch Jeremy's eye as he gives me a smile
"Thanks, I'll make it worth it. I promise"
I smile
"I know you will"
"Now get the fuck out my kitchen"
I laugh to myself and save both me and pac from what is about to be a nuclear disaster.
I drop pac off in the living room and go up to my room. No real intentions but the living room is closer to the kitchen which is closer to certain death.
My mom has definitely been in my room because there's a photo book lying on my bed.
2018-2019
Ah well those were some touchy years.
Those were the years I was really at rock bottom. Then the end of 2018 hit and me and Jeremy started dating and even then I wasn't at my best.
I sit cross legged on my bed and start to flick through.
The first page consists of a photo of the entire gang.
I mean apart from me.
It's too good to not share so I snap a photo of it and send it to the group
Slushyboi: one image attached
Im_totally_bi: ew
Of-my-LIFE: awww look at us!
Livintheupgrade: Ngl that's kinda cute
Im_totally_bi: that's cause you're in it jake
Livintheupgrade: Oh yeah. You're right.
Pinkberry: Michael where are you?
Touchy. Ouch.
Slushyboi: hospital lol
Follow it up with a lol and hopefully it's not so hard hitting
Pinkberry: Shit. Sorry
Slushyboi: Nah don't worry. I'll send more if I find anymore equally adorable and cringe photos.
Heere.and.queer: That photo should be burnt
Slushyboi: Fuck off and focus on not burning down my kitchen
I put my phone down with a slight smile and keep looking.
There's all the classics. Photos of me and my moms. Jeremy makes an appearance in some of them.
Ones from Christmas, photos from the snow and then new year.
I knew I was okay around New Year but it was after I had been back to hospital for my random illness.
Prom photos.
Graduation photos.
More and more photos of me and Jeremy.
Pac starts making an appearance.
A photo of Jeremy crying after watching Hamilton.
As I turn to the last double page I catch my breath slightly.
There's two photos next to each other on each page.
The first consists of a photo of the entire gang back from like 3rd grade.
Most of us have been together since elementary school. The only ones who joined in High school were Rich and Chloe.
Whilst I definitely didn't fit into the group, I hung around with them all year round. Every year.
Even with the relentless teasing.
The one beside it is from graduation day.
All of us in our caps and robes.
I snap a photo and send it to the group chat
Slushyboi: one image attached
Of-my-LIFE: AWWWWW LOOK AT US!
Pinkberry: What was I wearing?
Heere.and.queer: Okay that one is kinda cute
Smileyfacelipstickkittypaw: it's offensive i'm not on the first one
Im_totally_bi: me too
Slushyboi: I'm literally 2ft tall in the first one
Pinkberry: Now you're a giant.
Heere.and.queer: not as tall as me :)
Slushyboi: You fail to remember the last time we measured our height. we were both 6'4.
Heere.and.queer: Fuck you
Slushyboi: Tonight
Of-My-LIFE: Uhhhhh
Pinkberry: That's unfair you're too tall. I'm literally 5'5
Of-my-LIFE: are we gonna skip past what michael said
Im_totally_bi: Christine they do this all the time. let the gays do their stuff.
I lock my phone and focus on the other page.
It's me and Jeremy.
The first photo is probably a month or so into kindergarten after we became friends.
It's a photo of us standing in the playground. Jeremy is tightly holding my hand.
What really gets me is Evan crouching beside me with a huge smile on his face.
I always remember him being so excited I made a friend.
The other photo is me and Jeremy on the day of prom. All smart in our suits.
No Evan to be seen.
But on the lapel of my suit is a small badge.
A single circle. Block coloured Red.
So I always had some of my hoodie to take to prom with me. So I had Evan with me.
My eyes drift back to the first photo. I don't think i've ever seen it.
I trace my fingers along Evans face.
He has a coat on but I still notice.
There's a slight flash of red underneath the coat.
Meaning he's wearing the exact hoodie i'm wearing now.
There's a slight catch in my throat as I fight back tears trying to claw their way into my eyes.
I blink harshly and close the book.
I'll look at it again soon.
But for now I need to make sure Jeremy hasn't burnt down the kitchen.
Before I leave I quickly open the book again and grab the photo of me, Jeremy and Evan.
"MICHAEL"
good timing
I head downstairs already preparing for the worst.
"MICHA- Oh. hey"
"you called?"
I stand there leaning against the doorframe and i'm actually surprised. It's clean in the kitchen. Two plates are sat at the table with something that actually looks edible.
"Surprise"
The shyness in Jeremy's voice is enough to make me collapse right then and there.
"Jeremy!"
"Sorry if I panicked you"
"I mean I did think you burnt down the kitchen earlier. I wasn't ready for another fire"
He gives me a look
"Sorry sorry, I'll come sit"
He pulls out my chair for me in an attempt to be a waiter.
I smile and sit down trying not to laugh at his sad attempts.
He sits opposite me and gives me a shy smile.
"Okay so I made that pasta bake that your moms make. I know we both like it so I made an attempt at it. I know it won't taste the same but-"
"Jeremy shut up. I don't care how it tastes. You made it and that's all that matters"
He smiles at me looking genuinely proud of himself.
Bless his heart
I take a forkful and taste it. I won't lie, it's not bad
"You've outdone yourself here Mr Heere! This is amazing"
It's almost as if a weight lifts off his shoulders
"Really?"
I let a soft laugh escape my mouth and take his hand from across the table
"Really"
He gives me a cheesy grin
"Well eat up"
The meal was amazing. Jeremy actually managed to cook something edible! I was genuinely proud of him.
We talk about utter shit for a good half an hour before Jeremy makes an attempt to clean up.
He's determined to keep the waiter character going. So i'm sent to the living room as he cleans up
"FUCK"
I hear a faint smash and my stomach flutters with pure love for the man in the other room.
It's then quickly taken over by the fact that I just heard a smash and we were eating off my moms best china plates...
It seems to take forever but both me and Jeremy end up lounging around in the living room.
I slip my hands into my pocket and realise I haven't shown Jeremy the photo
"Oh Jer. Check this out"
I hand the photo to him and watch his face go through like 5 emotions in just a few seconds
"Evan-"
I really forgot how close Jeremy and Evan were.
Jeremy's an only child and so he treated Evan like his big brother. I'd say Evan treated Jeremy like his second baby brother.
Theres already a small lump in my throat as I speak.
My voice shakes slightly
"Yeah, kindergarten"
"He's wearing the hoodie"
I'm surprised he noticed. It's hard to see that he's wearing it.
"Yeah, yeah he is. He wore it just as much as I do"
"Now I really understand why you are so protective over it"
I nod and Jeremy seems to be studying the photo.
I decide to just give him a moment to look at it. But after checking twitter and it just being the definition of hell, I look back up.
Jeremy's eyes are glassed over with tears
"You okay?"
He sniffs quietly
"I miss him dude. I cant even imagine what it was like for you. I don't think I even understood what was going on"
"Oh it was hard. I wasn't old enough to properly grieve"
"I don't think I ever did. I didn't know how"
Unlike me, Jeremy is very detached from his emotions. I blame his SQUIP.
But even before the SQUIP he was never the best at understanding his own feelings.
Where I sobbed for days on end after Evans death, Jeremy kept going as normal.
Now it makes sense that he didn't know what to do.
"It was rough. But it's been years. He's just waiting for us"
When I was younger, I always wanted to follow
in Evans footsteps. He was an incredible artist.
I didn't expect to follow his footsteps in the way I almost did.
If Jeremy hadn't found me that day maybe I would have.
I look back over to Jeremy as he just looks at the photo. Slowly but surely a small smile forming at the corner of his mouth.
Maybe i'll follow his footsteps still.
And become the best artist I can
——————————————————————————
NOTES:
Extremely sorry for the lack of updates.
Stuff got real stressful and I lost all motivation.
But i'm back!
I actually saw be more chill today which gave me the motivation to come back here and keep writing.
Hope you're all well :)
take care of yourselves <3