I'm Only Dreaming

Chapter 16

-Clay-
I guess I should tell him that I feel the same but he probably won't believe me. He has such a hard time trusting people, it took me forever to get him to even be my friend. I grab his arms, and slowly pull them away from his face. Holding them by his side.

He still won't look at me so I said "George look at me." He closes his eyes but doesn't look up he just keeps looking at the ground.

I carefully reach up and put my hand on his chin, putting a bit of pressure to make him look me in my eyes. He closes his eyes then looks into mine.

This is the hard part, figuring out what to say. "Okay... I know it was wrong of me to do what I did, I shouldn't have listened to your private conversation. I'm so sorry I did. But George-" he has a few more tears roll down his face and he tries to look away but I take my hands and place them on his cheeks.

"-yes, I admit, I knew you had feelings for me." He blushes but he can't look away this time. "And for a while I wasn't sure if I felt the same. But all the signs pointed to me liking you back." He, thankfully, stopped crying.

"I was worried when you hurt yourself, I was worried when you slept for two days straight, I was jealous as hell when you slept with Nick, even though I know it meant nothing." He blushed even more than he already was.

"I know these all sound negative but the first time I hugged you, I was so happy, when I carried you to bed, I blushed like an idiot, when I hugged you when you were sad last night, I got so many butterflies..." I blush again.

"And last night, when we were cuddling... Everything felt perfect. Everything fell into place. I knew right then and there that I really was in love with you, no matter what. But George-" I pause, reading his facial expressions.

His face says he's nervous, I'm not sure if it's in a good way or a bad way. He's blushing all over his cheeks and neck. I realise I'm still holding his face so I stop. I don't think he wants to know what I'm about to say.

"I don't think, you especially, are ready to be with me. Your mental health is not good and we just met up a week ago. I think, if we want to do this. Like be in a relationship together. That we need to wait. Wait until you get better and until I figure out my own problems." I say.

George doesn't say anything, he lets me finish all I have to say. He's not crying but he has tears in his eyes. When one falls I wipe it away. George is still looking me in my eyes, I think he's too scared to look away. I'm not sure he's going to do anything until he finally talks.

"Clay... I don't know what to say. I'm nervous as hell right now and your right, I don't think I trust you enough to be with you. My mental health has never been great, but I'm hoping that'll change with you helping me." He smiles and so do I, he's getting less nervous.

"I know things are bad with me but you should focus on yourself more. And as much as I like you, being in a relationship would be too much. I also enjoyed our cuddling session by the way." He blushes more, which I didn't think was possible.

I nod and open my arms for a hug, not knowing if it's too weird at this exact moment but I guess it isn't, for him at least, because he comes into the hug. For once he isn't tense at all. He's completely calm.

I think I was making him tense, not me specifically, but his crush on me. Now he's out in the open and all the air is cleared. We both know our feelings for each other and that makes it so much easier, especially for George.

"So we both can agree that the feelings are there, but we're not ready for anything more than friendship?" George asks quietly, thankfully less nervous than usual.

I nod. "Yeah, for now we'll leave it as is but one day we could become more than friends." George pulls out of the hug, him and I sharing a genuine smile.

"Well goodnight, Clay. And thank you for telling me how you feel because I never would've had the courage." He says before going to his room, closing the door. I also go to my room.