Reap What You Sow 🌈

Chapter 20

Emilio shoved his hands deep into his pockets. The past two years he'd visited this building countless times, but he'd never been nervous before. He just couldn't look the same at Mateo anymore and he was terrified that the man would notice; that he would sense what disgusting fantasies Emilio had about him. 

When the door opened, Juan and he pushed themselves away from the wall they'd been leaning against. Emilio strolled past his friend, giving him some space to greet his brother first. With a nervous itching in his stomach, he watched how the brothers hugged and how Mateo pressed a kiss to Juan's cheek, saying something Emilio could not hear. Then, he wrapped an arm around Juan's shoulder and turned towards Emilio. His free arm, he laid around Emilio's shoulders.

"Hey kid. Good to see you again." Mateo winked, pulled him in an embrace, and kissed his cheek. 

It wasn't the first time he kissed his cheek — he never bothered to show his affection to Juan or him — but it was the first time the gesture caused Emilio's face to heat up. Emilio wished the floor would collapse him, especially when Mateo held his glance and raised his eyebrows questioningly. He knew it. He knew Mateo would notice his strange behavior in a minute. His hands felt clammy and there was a nagging feeling in his chest.

"You're hungry?" Juan asked. "What do you want? Pizza? Fries? Bet you didn't get these inside, huh?"

Juan sounded more energetic than he had done in months, there was a bright smile on his face now his brother was no longer in prison. Emilio however realized that he hadn't said a single word. 

Mateo's arm still rested on his shoulder and Emilio shivered when his fingertips stroked his hair, now and then slightly brushing his auricle. In a paralyzing wave of fear, he wondered if Mateo had done this before. He couldn't call up a single moment, although he didn't rule out the possibility that he couldn't remember because it had simply never bothered him. 

"Man, that's a real dilemma," Mateo smirked. "What do you think, E? Is one of these things gonna loosen your tongue?"

Emilio cursed himself in silence. Something in his tone made him interpret the words on a whole different level. To make things worse, he caught Juan's searching gaze.

"It's your choice," he muttered eventually. "You've been on bread and water for 28 months."

"Ah, so you didn't lose your tongue," Mateo smirked. "Good. I can use a willing one now I have to miss my cellmate."

Emilio cramped up. What the hell was going on? He felt his cheeks glow. He had known Mateo would see through him sooner or later, but this soon?! He had barely said anything! Annoyed, he pushed the older boy away from him and showed him a withering gaze. 

Mateo started to laugh. "You're just as homophobic as you used to be. Well — this guy didn't act very straight the past year, so you better watch your tongue before I feel insulted."

Emilio growled something inaudible; by now, he didn't know what to think anymore. 

Mateo grinned at him and nodded to the exit. "I'm going for a pizza. And a beer." He heaved a longing sigh. "Finally, a cold beer..."

Emilio said nothing and followed the two brothers outside. The uneasiness he felt refused to leave and by now, he started to wish he'd stayed at home.

. . .

Emilio toyed with his pizza. He had no appetite. There was a knot in his stomach that refused to leave and he was staring through the window instead of participating in the conversation. However, he realized that was risky too; he knew he would stand out when staying in the background.