Chasing Air // Billie Eilish

Chapter 11

ELLIOT'S P.O.V

I sighed as I drug my hands down my face. I knew that what I was about to do was selfish, and stupid, and I would probably regret it later, but Claudia was right. I was not gonna let him control my entire life. I knew that in a little over two months I wouldn't be here anymore, but I didn't care. Two months was still two months away, and I didn't think that I wanted to go the next two months without talking to Billie.

It was so selfish though. Jeremiah didn't want me to and even if he did let me, that was just another person that I could hurt when I left. I sighed. I decided to just ask and try to calmly explain that he couldn't just control everything I do, but if he said no, I'd just drop it for good—as to not make him angry.

"Hey, baby?"

Jeremiah kept his eyes trained on the TV as he replied. "You know I don't like it when you use names like that."

"Right. Sorry. I know that you don't..." I trailed off as I noticed that he didn't seem to be paying attention to me. I picked the remote up and paused the TV. Usually, I wouldn't be that bold, but I decided I wasn't taking his bullshit that day. "I'm trying to talk to you. Can you just pay attention for like two seconds?" Bad idea. He wasn't in a good mood.

He furrowed his eyebrows and stood up, pushing me down onto the couch. "What the fuck are you doing?"

I stared at him, wide-eyed, my mouth open in shock. That was not the reaction I was expecting. "I was trying to talk to you and you were ignoring me."

"Exactly! So, what the fuck made you think you could just snatch up the remote and pause my shit?" He let out a forceful breath, and I felt my heartbeat pick up as I suppressed the little bit of fear that he was inducing.

"I... I don't know."

"You don't know? What do you want?"

"I just—can I go hang out with Billie?" I asked tentatively.

He laughed an angry laugh and looked away from me, biting his lip. "That's what you just paused my shit for?" he yelled harshly, raising his eyebrows at me as his face grew red. "Can you go hang out with Billie?" He shook his head, looking down at me as I stayed in my spot on the couch. "Can I ask you a question, Elliot?"

I swallowed, nodding hesitantly.

"What is your obsession with Billie?"

"What? Obsession?" I furrowed my eyebrows. "I don't have an—"

"You're lying! I know you do," he said through gritted teeth, gripping the arm of the couch as he leaned down towards me "You talk about her too much."

"Well, she's my friend and you won't let me see her."

"And that's with good reason—"

"No! You're unrightfully banning me from seeing my friends and I won't take it anymore!"

"Who the hell do you think you are?" he yelled, his voice rough as it stabbed holes into the calm front I'd been trying to keep up. His face was red and his jaw was clenched, a vein sticking out of his neck. Tears pricked at my eyes as my breathing became a little too fast. He was really scaring me now. He could say whatever he wanted to me. That wasn't the problem. The yelling. I don't know what it is, but I could not do yelling. I just couldn't. It scared me. It overwhelmed me. "Do you pay the bills?"