Chasing Air // Billie Eilish

Chapter 4

BILLIE'S P.O.V

"I understand that but I just—one more month is all I'm asking, okay? I don't have the fucking money right now, Jack."

I watched Elliot through the window curiously as she talked to somebody on the phone. She was not a very quiet person, but despite that, she lowered her voice and I could no longer hear her. And then she got loud again.

"She's gonna fucking die, you little cunt!"

Who was gonna die? And who was Jack?

"Wait, what?" Elliot's face dropped. I guess the only time she desperately hid all emotion was when she knew people could see her. Obviously she didn't like people knowing how they affected her and I understood that. "I—I don't have the money to fly out there. I can barely fucking feed myself."

She couldn't even feed herself? What was she talking about? She always talked like she was living a fantastic life around me. Maybe she was just lying to this dude. She ended the call and walked back inside, stopping in her tracks as soon as she sees me.

"Is everything okay?" I asked.

"Look. I don't know what you heard but keep your mouth shut. You couldn't even hear the full conversation. You have no idea what it was about. Do not try to pry into my life, Bobby."

I sighed. "My name isn't Bobby."

"Sure it is. I have to go. I'm sure that I can trust that you'll keep your mouth shut." She sighed, leaning down to my height and bracing her hands on the arm rests beside me. She was awfully close. "After all, you really don't know me."

Was she threatening me? It was working. I didn't know her. I knew that she did drugs and drank, and that was enough for me to believe that she wouldn't hesitate to hurt me or something. I nodded, not being able to summon the courage to speak. She was so close to me and despite how much I really didn't like her as a person, I found myself attracted to her. She was a very good looking person and she knew it which made her even hotter. And I really did want to actually know her because as of then, all I really knew was her name and that she wasn't good at answering questions or first impressions.

"Use your words. You have a lot of those, don't you?"

"Yes. I'm not gonna say anything."

"Perfect," she whispered and her breath fanned my lips, only making me wish she was a normal person even more. I wanted to kiss her. I'd never even touched her. I wanted to. In any way. I just wanted to accidentally bump into her or something. To confirm that she was real. She didn't feel very real. She stood up straight and I leaned to the side just barely as she walked past, causing her to bump into me. The contact sent butterflies through my stomach and I stumbled back a little not expecting her to actually hit me that hard. A normal person didn't hold themselves in place so firmly all the time. It felt like a fucking wall just hit me.

Despite her previous intimidating demeanor, she quickly grabbed my arms, steadying me. "Sorry."

My face heated up from embarrassment. "It's okay."

She let go of me and nodded before rushing out of the house. Why couldn't she just be normal? If she had just acted like a normal human being for once, I could've asked her out a long time ago. She was over here a lot nowadays and so was I. More than I used to be over here. I thought about her a lot more than I should've with how little I had actually talked to her. I was just very curious about her but too scared to actually ask anything.

I peered out the window curiously as she braced her hand on the wall, walking towards her car. She seemed disoriented.

I didn't know. I didn't know at the time what was wrong with her. I wish I did though because then I could've helped her. I didn't like seeing her like that.

She got into her car and I couldn't see her anymore because of her tinted windows. Unlike mine, hers were completely tinted. I couldn't see in at all. She was just so strange. And she dodged most of my questions. I hardly knew anything about her and I wanted to know more.

"Forget where the bathroom was?" Finneas asked jokingly as Claudia and him came inside.

I shook my head. "No."

"Where's Elliot?"

"She had to go." I looked towards the door as if she was gonna be there or something.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Actually, I'm pretty tired. My back is sore too." I grabbed my keys. "It's pretty hard carrying all of the good looks and charm of the family, you know. Takes a toll on your back. I'm gonna go home."

Finneas and Claudia looked at each other weirdly before he spoke again. "Okay. Love you."

"Love you too."