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Review #16: @IvashkovLightwood

Title: The Moment We Met
Author: IvashkovLightwood
Reviewers: CatLoverHope dreaminginreverie

CatLoverHope's Review:
Let's start with the elements the readers see first in the book. The cover is really good and bright; it matches the story very well. The title is also good, and tells the readers how the story initiates. Now, the blurb/summary: I feel as though the blurb/summary is amazingly written, but betrays my expectations of fluff and romance. I think the author should try to match the romantic vibe with the content of the story. Basically, make the story more romantic and fluffy. Or, if the author prefers the way it is right now, then remove the romantic aspect from the blurb/summary.
Let's look at the content of the book now. I usually don't mention this, but the titles of the chapters are kind of cheesy and I love it! It matches great with the story so far! The hooks are kind of boring, I feel like they would be better if the author were to apply surprise situations. The flow of the book is good, but it would by far be better with more romance and fluff and overall feelings, rather than just lust. The latter is fine too, but romance, fluff et cetera would be great fits. The grammar is very good, but I feel like more cheesy or romantic figures of speech should be used. It would be adorable. Be careful not to use cliché and cringey ones though. As the chapters reach the end, the story becomes much more intriguing. I live the amount of action/events thta takes place. The ending should have some cliffhangers occasionally though, not always.
The main characters seem to have many sides to them, I like it. But th eproblem is, the side-characters such as Gramma et cetera, don't seem to have much of a personality. I think the author could use these characters in a very creative way, if they're given more personality. The book would also be way more interesting if the author were to add more aspects of music into it. No need to add what B-sharps and B-flats are, not everyone knows those, just try to have more music scenes. Maybe even them teaching each other their respective instruments or something like that.
Overall, the only main flaw is the lack of fluff and romance. I think this book has great potential. It would do very well one day, I'm sure.

dreaminginreverie's review:

cover + title:
your cover is amazing! i love how centered around music it is, although the tagline could be a bit bigger so it's easier to read. i had to squint at it to decipher what it said. your name could also be a bit smaller but nothing takes away from the enjoyment of looking at it. the title fits amazingly!

description:
your description is different. i haven't seen one written like it, which isn't necessarily a good thing but it isn't a bad thing either. i liked the fact that you added their names so they weren't just some faceless people i was learning about, but you could've done it a bit differently by not adding, 'Presley:' and 'Deon:'. it still makes perfect sense if you get rid of those, since you do give their full names later in the description.

writing style:
not as unique as some others i've seen, but you certainly put your own twist on it that i really liked! you also made it super easy to distinguish between descriptive writing and presley's thoughts. everything wasn't all bunched up like i've seen some people do, so props for that!

characters:

presley -
i absolutely love her! she has such a unique personality that gives me relatable but also 'she's a book character, she shouldn't be totally relatable' vibes. her grief over her parents and sister's deaths are written beautifully! you didn't just mention them once and then have her act like she completely forgot about them, you made her act in a way a real person would to losing their family. she is a little too blush-y and damsel in distress-y for my liking, but i'm a 'badass female who loves swords' kind of writer and reader so it's probably just me.

deon -
i'm still a little iffy on him. he gives me good vibes but also bad ones...so i honestly don't know. although, when you write a bilingual character whose first language isn't english they don't just automatically know every single english word, phrase, or tense and they sometimes stumble over words. so, as an example, when he's talking to his dad ( and his dad is talking to him ) have them pause or say a word in spanish that they don't know in english and the other says what they mean in english. bilingual people also tend to throw in their first languages words in with their second so they might say they 'want to borrow the car' but 'borrow' would be in spanish while the rest of the sentence is in english. that also works the other way around too.

maddy -
love, love, love her! she's the type of best-friend i strive to be! she's literally perfect, i don't have anything to say about her.

tyler -
he needs to lay off on the whole 'taking my girlfriend to bed' thing. and yes, i do realize guys think about that a lot ( i'm best-friends with five of them, so i know ) but they usually don't just randomly say it to people they just met. i mean, he just met deon the day before and he's already talking to him about eating *coughs* you know what. and while they're both guys, i still think it might be a little too soon for the lust talk.

grammar:
i didn't spot anything in the first three chapters but as i read on i noticed the mistakes were getting more frequent. it's nothing an editor can't fix though, so maybe think about requesting one or you might like to do it yourself.

overall thoughts:
i must admit that i thought it was going to be totally clichè by the description and the title, but it honestly surprised me. now, i'm not saying it's not clichè but it's not as bad as i thought it would be. it does seem a bit cheesy and childish at time, but those parts just made me smile wider. you do need ( correction, you can ) fix a few things to make it better but it's a very good book that has great potential!