Less than nothing

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Cobly pov:

I held Gaege in my arm's till he stopped crying. He breathing slowed and his sob was no longer there. I took a deep breath and I kissed him on his forehead. How could anyone not love this person I'm holding so tightly in my arm's.

I was angry at the fact that this jammy character had the audacity to every lay a hand on what is mine. Honestly Then and there I wanted to go to the police station and beat the shit out of him.

I sighed and look down at Gaege. My heart felt warm and whole with him by me. I don't know how I ever lived without his cute little face.

"Hey love bug I guess it's my turn". I wasn't sure were to start. With my abusive ass mother or the faceted that I've only ever loved one person who never loved me in that way.

"Take your time I know how rough it is". Gaege placed his thumb on my chin then gently rubbed my bottom lip before gently placing a kiss on them.

"Well where to start". I inhaled a lot of air and honestly I didn't want to let it go. Once I do the pain of the past will start to hurt again but Gaege opened up to me and I wanna do the same.

******FLASHBACK****
WARNING THIS PART OF THE STORY CONTAINS ABUSE AND CUTTING.

"YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT, I FUCKING HATE YOU. YOU RUINED MY FUCKING LIFE I HATE YOU I HATE YOU".
My mother was drunk again smashing the empty glasses on my head. nothing I'm not use to.

I run up the stair's grab a few clothes and hopped out my bedroom window.I hear my mother banging on the door while I slide down the roof.

I jumped down with the bag of clothes and walk across the street to sam house. I hopped the fiance to his back yard and knocked on his Window.

He turned on his light opened the window and smiled. He stepped aside to let me in and I threw my bag in. I jumped in with the help of sam. He shut the window cut off the light and claimed back into bed patting the spot next to him.

Sam had bump beds but I always slept right beside him. He would put his hand around my waist and snuggle real close to me. To sam it was his way of comforting me but to me it meant the world to be held in his arms.

Sam and his parent's know about my mom and how she Is so I'm aloud to come over at any time of day. Sam and his parents were trying their best to get me from that home without me having to be put in the system.

Sam and I parents grew up together and before my mom started drinking and before my father died they were all bestfirends and took care of one another that's why sam And I are so close we grew up together also due to our parents friendship and just cuz theirs ended didn't mean ours had to.

I was 15 at the time and I only had a year before I could be emancipated( meaning your parents no longer are your parent's legally and that you are now on your own from them look it up for real definition this is just the summary of it).

Sam held me the whole night through.He made sure I was sleep before him himself fell back asleep. The next day I returned home and my mom was passed out on the kitchen table glass was everywhere and her feet were cut.

"Looks like no school today either". I took a deep breath grabbed the first aid kit and fixed up my moms feet before carrying her up the stairs.

I began picking up the cups and furniture that she through and flip trying to get to me. I swept up the glass but when a bent down to pick up the big piece I cut myself. For some reason the pain felt so good and I felt free for a second. The cut was a little deeper then I thought so I stitched myself up.

I had year's of practice cuz my mother didn't want to take me the hospital like ever they would ask how I got the injury and my mom's not smart enough to think of a lie. I learned to very independent at a very young age.

On my 16 birthday my gift from sam was the papers to finally sat myself free from my mother. I was proven to be capable of taking care of myself so the papers went through I was no longer in my mother control.

I felt bad for my mother. My father died saving me and ever since she broke down and started hitting me. For awhile I thought I deserve it. if my 5year old self would've just stayed out of the street my father wouldn't have pushed me out the way.

And he would still be here. If I'd just wasn't so curious about the world I wouldn't have killed my father. But sam mom taught that if my father were here today he wouldn't have blamed me for what happen I was young.

It's not my fault what happened and no matter what till this day that if my father had to make that choose again he would over and over again cuz he loved me and would be so proud of how wonderful of a person I was.

I stopped blaming myself and forgave my mother. I took her love from her she has the right to be angry. No matter how hard the hit was I loved her but it was time for me to be a kid and let her go.

I did make sure that she got the help she needed after I left. She not a bad person just a hurt one. I lived with sam ever since and every moment we spent together was like magic I realized how much I truly loved him and not in the friendly way.

I kept my feeling under wrapped and made sure to never cross that line but that shit hurt you know. Having the one person you love so close and your never aloud to touch and tell them How you feel.

I kept having nightmares of my mother coming and taking me back. Don't get me wrong she doing much better but you can't take the years of hits,scars,stitches, and neglection she has stored in me.

I started using the blad to escape the world around me. Every cut made me feel less and less of her pain. Made me forget that I'd never be loved by sam and that life well is life. I'm such a fuck up and That's the truth. My mother was right I ruin everything that comes my way. Why do I have these dumb feelings.

****End of flashback***

( I'M sorry for not updating quickly I'm just lagging behind in school and kinda gotta get that done first but to be continued promise)

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