hello, anon | salia

six

disclaimer i will be writing in lower case for this book! okay anyway

IN REAL LIFE.

"simon? dude, you haven't come out of your room in three whole days. what the fuck are you doing?" my roommate, jj asked me, after barging into my room.

"nothing. why are you asking?" i asked, looking over at him from the awkward position i was laying in on my bed.

"because i'm worried about you? because we all are? because we all care about you? i could go on and on-"

i grimaced. i knew they were all there for me...i really did. but they just didn't get it. there was only one person that did get it, and i barely even knew her.

"i get that, but you don't need to be worried. okay? please just leave my room, man," i asked him, my laptop super close to me. i wanted him to leave so i could go back to writing my latest post so mj would comment on it again.

her comments made me feel so special, and i had started to go as far to crave the attention from her.

"dude...okay. but i'll be in the other room if you need me. oh, and the guys told me to tell you that we have a shoot on monday. and you can't fake being ill again, the fans are starting to ask where you are," he said curtly, before leaving and shutting the door behind him.

ignoring his words i decided to open up the website, clicking on my drafts and resumed writing. this mattered more, anyway.

READS: 1

oh look! i'm back again

who would've thought that this would turn into a series? well, technically we can't call it a series yet because it could be it after this update, but who knows. let's be optimistic, right?

what am i even talking about. i am the opposite of an optimist. what's it called? a narcissist? wait no...that's when you like yourself too much, right? OH!!! it's a pessimist, isn't it? yeah, i am pretty sure i'm a pessimist.

it sounds sad to type that out. i don't want you to think i'm bragging about being a pessimist, because i'm really not. i wish i could view the world in all it's glory, but i don't.

objectively, i'm a really fortunate person. i am in a good position financially, and i am surrounded by those i consider family. yet, i seem to be wallowing in self despair almost all the time. i haven't left my room in a while, i've let it get way too messy and wow-

i let way too much slip there. i'm too lazy to go back and edit so feel free to just...idk, skip over that part???

anyway. i'm in bed in a really awkward position and i'm literally gonna give myself back pain. I hope you're doing okay, mj. i've been thinking about you :)

does that sound weird ??? oh god, uh, anyway, bye!

anon

comments

mjiswriting

. you know my dms are always open for you, anon

. i mean it

. i feel the same way sometimes

anon5289537

. call me simon :)

mjiswriting

. okay...simon

. this feels weird

anon5289537

. i feel like i've just told you my deepest darkest secret

mjiswriting

. simon is a codename tho, like mine right

anon5829537

. yeah , yeah ofc

mjiswriting

. cool! i love the name. it's unique

anon5829537

. thank you v much mj. like yours is too :)