He was everything she should've hated.
Arrogant, headstrong, and aloof.
He tamed her fire to drive his own and never once did he care.
At times it seemed he was everything except human...but, who was she to judge when she had done just as much evil...
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"Can You Teach Me How To Be Gentle For You?-"
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Dimitri's Pov.
'Fight it, or accept it.
Fear it, or control it.'
For the longest time, that had been my motto. However, somewhere along the way, i found i could do neither when it came to her.
That day, when i spotted her at that school. It wasn't the first.
I'm not ashamed to say I kept tabs on her.
Those stunning chocolate brown curls held a warmth I found comforting, a modest frame for that smile and eyes which held more love than she would ever admit to. The hue would intensify as her hair, swung, as unfettered as the autumn leaves dancing in the sun.
She was like a whiff of cool air, i didn't realize i so hopelessly yearned for. A vacant piece I'd long neglected, or so it seemed.
Restraining myself from loving her felt more than tiring, especially when it felt so right. She deserved the world, and all i could ever deliver was pain. I thought i was protecting her, but last night, when she stood her ground, i saw it. That fire and force of purpose. She'd have been able to handle herself flawlessly even if i hadn't meddled. She wasn't that humble little book worm i fell for when we were in college. No. She had become far stronger.
Regardless, i knew how much pain that body of hers was sustaining. I knew she was hurting and even though she lied through her words, her eyes would always bleed the truth.
I wore down the guilt with hard liquor, strippers, and cigars, habituating myself to them as though they were a panacea. She may have hated me, but i hated myself far more than she could ever picture.
I was no good for her and i knew it, as pessimistic as i may appear, our story was always going to dwell on hardship. Deep down, I'd hoped that if it ever came down to gen and i- I'd be the one who drew the short end of the stick.
She left the house this morning still very much boiling with rage. Although i deserved it, I couldn't fathom why it was so unsettling- why this time it seemed so damn different. I switched off the water, slackly encasing a towel around my waist. Just upon entering the bedroom, i seized a cigar from the batch dwelling on the dresser.
She and i may have had a past, but the past was just as it was- the past. I was different from who i used to be back then. The only link between that person and myself is Genevieve. Empowering myself to re-kindle that darkened flame would cost me everything and most importantly-her. She was and would always remain the only woman i held so closely to my heart. I realize i showed it in the most fucked up way imaginable, but i didn't know how else to express the love i bore for that woman.
