SNL 2020

Curious Squirrel

Me: You did this deliberately. You...did this to torture me. I hate you!

Qing: (grinning at me) Yes. Yes. And I understand if you do hate me.

I hate Wang Qing! I hate him.

(What now? Why do you hate Baba now?)

He filled all my five socks with gifts already. He filled them and I cannot touch those socks and the gifts inside them because Christmas is still weeks away and I am about to die. Save me!

(You and your tendency to exaggerate things. You are not dying...)

No, you are all right...I am not dying. But my curiosity is sure bouncing all over my body, pestering me to take a peek at the gifts Qing slipped inside my socks. Not letting my mind rest.

And this is not an exaggeration, I spent three hours today standing in front of our fireplace, staring at those socks. Just transfixed on imagining the gifts Qing bought for me, wondering how I can take a peek without my fiancé knowing about it. And also thinking how good my gift wrapping skill is because thats what I plan to do. Unwrapped those gifts, see what they are and then wrap them the exact same way again.

See? I think that plan will work.

But no, Qing decided to be extra jerky about this.

Qing: Touch all of them and they will all go back to where I bought them. Touch just one of them and the same thing will happen. And if you think I won't know, best believe that I will know if you touch my gifts to you.

Me: How? How will you know? Did you install a CCTV camera in our living room?

Qing: No. I will know because you will tell me. The thing about you, my Love, is that you have a healthy conscience that kicks in to make you feel so guilty about being naughty.

Me: Conscience? What conscience? You have no conscience. You know this will drive my curiosity to insanity and yet you still did this, you heartless jerk. How will I sleep now?

Qing: (shrugging) In our bed with me and with your eyes close?

(Oh Baba...)

I reached for his neck. I'm sorry, my dear readers, but I reached my limit and that limit pushed me to go after Qing's neck so I can strangle him. My dark evil side finally gave in.

(Did you kill Baba?)

No. Because no matter how determined my dark evil side is, Qing is still stronger than us. He just laughed while holding my arms and swinging our arms together as I try my best to wrestle him.

(Oh wrestling!)

Yeah...no. Don't even get me started with that one. And your Baba is yet done annoying the living fuck out of me.

Qing: (laughing tone) You use to say that I am strong for no apparent reason. I think this is the reason why I am strong. To be able to defend myself from your bloodthirstiness.

Me: (scowling) Is that a real word? Bloodthirstiness?

Qing: (grinning) I don't care. Do you?

Me: (lunging him again) I hate you!

And a wrestling match ensued. Don't worry, I didn't hurt your Baba. Not much at least.

Qing: (snorting after our match) I wish it could go on longer. Its a nice exercise. Grappling with you.

Me: (inspecting my biceps) I think I will have bruises again.

Qing: Better call Mama, she might be unhappy once she sees you with bruises again.