War Claim (The Claim: Book 3)

Chapter 47 - Chloe (Part 1)

Chloe stared at the journal in the wooden box on her bed. She couldn't bring herself to open it.

What was he thinking by giving this to her? Did he really think it would help her?

She didn't touch it when she first got it. Nor the next day. She attempted to open it the following day but got so far as to read the first sentence of the bookmarked section before slapping it closed again.

'I can't even look at her.'

It was dated in the summer three years ago.

He wasn't talking about Madison, she knew.

Those words shocked and terrified her. She couldn't look at the book again until the next day. She forced herself to take a big breath, open it, and try to make it through the first entry.

'I can't even look at her. It scares the hell out of me. I shouldn't feel this way. She's only 15. A pup. It's so wrong!
And then I did something even more stupid.
She reached out to me to comfort me and I couldn't stand to even be near her without wanting to touch her. To kiss her. To want her in ways that I shouldn't...
I'm so fucking disgusting...'

Her eyes widened.

That was what he was going through back then?

She flipped to the next page that held the date of the following day.

'If I avoid her, I can get through this. I won't get an erection. My scent won't change so no one will know how she affects me.
I have to stay focused. I can't think about her. I have so much training still to do, I just need to focus on that.
But it's these quiet moments alone in the dorm before bed when I think about her the most. And I can't help it.
I still miss Madison but I can't hold onto her. She's never coming back. I need to move forward with my life even though it still hurts sometimes.
I want her. Her and only her.
But she isn't mine to keep...'

She quickly read through the next few entries before sitting back and exhaling a deep breath.

The last entry she read that made her stop and think was when he questioned the Goddess' will. Why had She created Madison for him only to take her away? Why couldn't his soulmate be Chloe, whom he claimed to love before he even found Madison?

She closed the journal, her thoughts whirling.

He was attracted to her when she was a pup and it tormented him. She had no idea. All that time, she grew to resent him.

He said that he loved her before meeting Madison and this confirmed it. Any doubts that she may have had about the truth of his words was squelched.

She opened the notebook up to the first page. The date was from years ago and was only a couple of sentences of what he did that day. He must have been ten. Even his penmanship looked more juvenile. She smiled to herself, thinking about him at such a young age.

Because the entries were so brief, two or more took up the first few pages until he was fifteen and started to become lengthier and more interesting as he described his thoughts and feelings based on the events of the day. He started writing more about her, filling the pages with their activities as he expanded more on whatever thought crossed his mind.

When he was seventeen and a half, he wrote a lot about his parents and the pressures of finding his mate and taking over the pack. That was when he started writing about his feelings for Chloe. Admitting that he loved her and prayed constantly about her being his mate. He would write heatedly about arguments with his parents, how Chloe was young and there was no way to be sure that they were mates. The pressure he felt, knowing that his parents were getting older and needing him to step up and take over with his mate.