exhausted | sleepy bois inc oneshots

demon ryhmes with semen

a/n : why are so many people reading my shit writing-

774 words (minus a/n)
slight platonic wilnoblade 

——

technoblade, often referred to as the  blood god. was an assassin in his kingdom, taking the lives of many but now he's a demon who was exiled from his home kingdom due to disagreements. techno often is spotted with another person whose a different type of demon than him but was exiled along side him.

wilbur gold was often referred to the demon of golds and riches. he would steal things easily and use his charm to wiggle his way out of sticky situations. he's also know as tobias avenforge, the big ass spider. he's goofy while techno is more serious. both can be terrifying if needed though.

sometimes the two have debates on who has taken more lives. techno had more obviously killed loads of people but wil had blown up a town and participated in not so safe events. either way both were goddamn murderers that had a strong bond.

—

"he had deformed balls before i hit him reelaax" wilbur said with arms behind his head. "i don't care because you deformed his balls i care because you blew our cover!" techno stared at wil for a good moment until sighing and biting aggressively into a burnt marshmallow.

"you walked straight into the town without even trying to be sneaky don't even!" "bruhh everytime we go there you run to see that baker" wilbur rolled his eyes. "i do not" "suuuree"

and just then they heard an annoying scream of a child. the loud cry echoed in their comfortable cave home. "i'm drowning a child" techno mumbled as he got up and walked to where to sound grew the loudest. wilbur got up and ran after him "bUT WE COULD KEEP IT"

"we are not keeping it"

during the walk they kept arguing over if techno should eat the child or if they should keep it.

"you are not eating it you ate the last one!" "i'm hungry" "no!"

"willlbuuurr"
"we don't even know if it's an orphan calm yourself oh mighty blood god"

"why would we even keep an orphan?"
"i dunno phil kept us soo-"
"i'm eating it" "techno!"

maybe they had different opinions on orphans. maybe wilbur would give in and let him eat the child like last time. but maybe he felt guilty about something that happened the last time he was tobias.

he still hated children and didn't know why he kept pushing "keeping the child".

techno of the other hand was craving something to eat, the marshmallows didn't do it for him so he quickly took up the opportunity to eat a child. he doesn't hate children per say he just picks on the ones who are orphans due to.. unfortunate backstory things.

"techno i found the little shit!" wilbur screamed with a wide smile. the pinkette flinched at the beanie wearing fuck's loud voice then glared at wilbur, who was still smiling. "it's a.." "demon child!"

the brunette let his many eyes be shown as he looked at the piss haired child in his arms. "i don't think we've seen this type of demon before.. can we keep him?!" wilbur asked techno his many eyes seemed to sparkle.

"wil we're not keeping an orphan" techno motioned to wil to put it down but wilbur didn't, his grip tightened on the child. techno took notice and tilted his head.

"why are you protective of it already? it doesn't look like it likes you wilbur" the brunette looked at the child and sure enough it had an annoyed face. wilbur let his grip loosen on it to only see it hold onto wilbur's arm tightly.

"i think it likes me, maybe it's just grumpy annnyhow can we keep it techy?" wilbur cooed as he swung the child in his arms ever so slightly. "wilbur we're not-" "we can take care of it! we can be like it's dads or older brothers or something!"

techno glanced at the child who seemed comfortable in wilbur's arms and glaring at the pinkette. "do you even have a  name for it?" he said looking away from the child and back up at wil. the brunette nodded.

wilbur seemed happy. not happy in the way he was when committing arson but a nice excited smile to the likes of when he plays new music to techno.

the child made wilbur excited for whatever reason and techno liked it when the spider demon was happy.

"i think the name tommy suits him"

"we can keep it"

"him"

"what?"

"him not it"

the two boys shared a silent stare. the brunette smiling and the pinkette sighed with a slight smile.

"we can keep him"