exhausted | sleepy bois inc oneshots

it's insulting really

1017 words
tw : bullying & self deprecation

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tommy stared at the mirror disgusted. he painted himself as confident and yet here he was with red puffy eyes, bruises and bandaids all over his face. he couldn't help but view himself as weak these bruises wouldn't have been there if he was strong. his brothers were strong but he wasn't sure they'd care if they found out their little annoying brother was getting bullied.

he kept up an act in front of them, acting like he was the shit like he didn't care what everyone thought about him. in reality simply hearing wilbur call him his best friend one time made the blond feel content. though he'd never admit it the boy craved compliments, support or just some type of positive attention.

he didn't exactly care that he was being bullied but he didn't exactly enjoy it either. being bullied gave him conflicting emotions. he liked getting attention but it wasn't good attention, he liked looking tough but gaining the look of "tough" wasn't pleasant and he had the feeling to run to his older brothers, vent to them, tell them everything but he didn't want to seem weak.

he messaged toby, toby was the only one besides the bullies to know what was happening. toby was a close friend of his, he considers him as brother but he'd never say that fact out loud.

'can you come to the nurse's office?'

'yeah! i'll be there soon'

tommy put his phone away with a small smile on his face, it was hardly noticeable though and it faded quickly once the boy saw his reflection again.

he stared blankly. so many bandaids scattered on his face like stickers on a notebook. bruises on his face and arms, each being different shades of purple or a yellowish hue. he felt his body shake. his legs suddenly felt weak, they wobbled until he dropped on the floor letting out sobs. the boy craved comfort, he wanted someone to hold him and tell him that this would all pass, that'd he'll be alright but he had no one. no one could hear him sob and cry for it to stop.

"i'm sorry.. i'm sorry.. i'm.. s- sorry.." he repeated through sobs. his arms holding himself in an attempt to calm his shaking body. "i.. i-i'm strong.. i'm t-tough.. i'm not.." he choked out a sob "i'm not weak.. i p-promise i'm not.." his grip on himself tightened causing him to flinch. "i'm s-strong and s-shit.." he said himself quietly with no real comfort from those words.

oh how he wanted the pain to stop. he wanted to feel numb for once in his horrid life. but he couldn't. he couldn't stop it and he couldn't turn numb. life was a bitch and he had to deal with it.

he seemed helpless on the ground. his eyes even more red and puffy from crying. his sobs echoed in the bathroom and escaped through the door into the nurse's office. then soon a new noise came crashing in, two knocks. "tommy..?" he heard his friend call out in a concerned tone. toby didn't know how bad the attack was today all he knew was that it happened.

tommy desperately wiped off his tears to only have more come down. he felt so weak, so exposed. he couldn't bring himself to say a word. he stared at the door with anxious eyes until toby gently opened the door. the brunette saw tommy looking even more beaten than normal, he was beat not only externally but mentally too this time. toby couldn't help but feel pity.

he slowly crouched and sat in front of tommy. he carefully grabbed the blond's shaky hands. "scale?" "seven.." "try to take a deep breath and then count to seven" toby said softly earning a nod from the other. the blond took a deep breath, holding back a sob and soon breathed out. he counted to seven quietly to himself. once he finished counting he looked at toby. the brunette smiled of relief from the blond being somewhat calm.

"where are the newer injuries?" tommy gave him his arm, revealing new bruises, a bleeding scar that was seemingly reopened and then he pointed to his face to where even more of the new purple bastards laid. toby sighed. he took out bandages and covered the bleeding scar with it. he soon guided tommy to the nurse's beds to apply the rubbing alcohol.

"you should really tell wilbur and techno.. you know they know your bullies and can probably stop it in a way." toby said as he applied the rubbing alcohol. tommy flinched at the sensation, feeling the slight burn. "i don't want to bother them.. more than i already do" he mumbled that last part but toby heard it all. instead of responding the boy finished applying the rubbing alcohol and pulled tommy in for a hug. the blond wasn't sure how to react, he hesitated to hug back. he choked out the sob he held back and broke down again but it was different this time. he had comfort this time.

"what did i do to d-deserve you.. i'm so.. a-annoying.. i'd hate me.. i'm sure they don't care about me t-there's no way they do.." he said quietly with a shaky voice.

"you're not annoying and they care about you.. they care about you so much tommy.. wil brags about you, saying he's so proud of you and techno is always there to help you in studies, i see the way his eyes glow when you get better. they're so proud of you tommy and we're going to tell them and you'll be safe.. i promise." the brunette said, rubbing his finger in circles on tommy's back. "..they're proud?" tommy asked, his voiced sounded quiet like before but it was also excited and hopeful. toby hummed in response. he could practically feel tommy gain a rush of serotonin.

"i'll tell them" he said with a sincere smile that toby hadn't seen in ages.

he missed that smile.