exhausted | sleepy bois inc oneshots

dirty crime bois , amrite fellas?

a/n :  this was honestly so close to becoming fully crack and it came out different than intended buut content and i'm so fucking tired-

864 words (minus a/n)
slliight dreambur

——

"i don't see the big issue here. all stolen items were always found buried meters away from the house with no harm on any item"

"the issue is that they've done it several times and normally whenever the group does smaller crimes like this it's a build up to something.."

"how the fuck does one place get robbed multiple times with no evidence of a break in besides doors that are inside of the house being kicked down with items gone"

"professionals?"

"based on the interactions we've had with them i would say no but they're unfortunately skilled"

"i just got word that they'll be attempting a heist.. again"

—

"it's crime time boys!" a brunet shouted with large grin, slamming his hands onto the table effectively gaining the attention of the others. two blonds, one old and one young, quickly turned their attention to the grinning brunet. a calmer pink haired lad continued typing on a laptop but gave the others a hum to signal he was paying attention.

the group started off as nothing more than a group of thieves. stealing from houses then stealing little from stores. they would never have guessed that they would end up a group of well known thieves that do heists every once and a while.

"so here's the plan, the gremlin's gonna find us a way in while techno checks for security and the old man looks for ways to avoid the security. once we're in techno's going to violence anyone inside the building who isn't us, phil's gonna be the look out and me and tommy will go for the diamond.

if that one dumb group of 'heroes' comes and tries to stop us, techno deals with darryl, tommy deals with george, phil deals with nick and i'll deal with clay" the brunet spoke with hand gestures, the grin never leaving his face.

"shouldn't techno deal with clay? he's like strong and could beat clay while you're—no offence— weak" tommy looked at wilbur with both judgement and concern. the brunet always offered himself to deal with the strongest in the group, knowing that techno was the better option.

"clay's got a soft spot for wilbur" the pinkette continued typing at the laptop before pressing enter and looking at tommy with a genuine look. "for some reason he refuses to hurt wilbur, we learnt that when he literally let wilbur escape instead of taking him down in a way that would probably hurt wil but let them win"

"heroes normally have some tension with the villain tommy!" wilbur shouted pridefully.

—

the fuckers made it inside. tommy was yoinking everything he could and throwing it into the stash bag, techno was beating the shit out of the guards inside and phil was shouting about the famous dream team arriving. so just when wilbur picked up the diamond the honey eyed male was met with hazel green eyes staring back at him.

"oh hi dream" the brunet chirped, jumping onto higher ground with a grin. acting like tommy wasn't screaming at the top of his lungs while punching george, who was also screaming.

"wilbur" the dirty blond replied dryly.

"aww no nicknames tonight clay?"

"wilbur"

the brunet shot a grappling hook to the open roof just as clay hopped to his side. he smiled dumbly as he went up to the roof, clay following him with a tired grumble. he had several chances to just catch and arrest wilbur but he never took them. he regretted not taking the chances whenever the brunet decided he wanted to play cat and mouse while the others fought.

the dirty blond faced wilbur once again, sharing a stare. wil mumbled into a communicator about 'press it in three minutes' and 'dramatics' while wearing that stupid charming smile.

"wanna dance?"

a simple question. would be romantic if wilbur wasn't a wanted criminal and clay wasn't a cop ready to arrest his ass. yet the answer to that question was simply,

"sure"

clay took wilbur's open hand and pulled him closer. both hands linked with one another and as if the music in the heads just started to play right on cue, their legs started moving with each other rhythmically.

"you know i always wondered something" wilbur randomly spoke up as clay twirled the boy.

"why did you never arrested me"

the two continued to dance as wilbur seemed to be putting his words together.

"but then i realised something"

and a dip.

"i stole your heart, didn't i?"

the boy's faces were close to one another and just as clay collected his thoughts, wilbur dipped even more.

"anyways love ya bye bye!"

and he fell off the fucking building.

clay watched the boy fall, getting caught by phil just before he hit the ground. he soon saw a pinkette and piss blond leave the building, the pinkette holding something he couldn't quite make out.

techno looked over at wilbur who gave him a thumbs up before pressing on whatever was in his hand and-

"HOLY SHIT THEY BLEW UP THE BUILDING"

"LANGUAGE"

"JUST RUN"

honestly clay could've arrested wilbur on that rooftop. did he regret letting wilbur escape again? not really.