Daisy | Levi Ackerman

Chapter 6 - Three Years Later

[Celine]

I never forgot that day. It was only the first of the many instances where I learned the hard way what the world outside the Interior was like. It showed how much I should second-guess the people I trust, and keep my guard up for those whom I worked with. To know which ones I should keep close and the ones I should cut off from my life.

That day taught me that this world was in fact a hierarchy. My birthright had little to do with who I could be. It only gave me automatic impressions from other people; it was either I was a stuck-up, spoiled brat- or I was some sort of stepping stone towards something they want to achieve. It wasn't protection, no, to put it more accurately, it was like wearing a bullseye target on my forehead.

Of the three years I spent inside the Training Corps, honing my skills and toughening my skin, I only found five people worth my genuine trust. Those were Armin, Eren, Mikasa, Annie and of course, Bertholdt.

I still chose to trust and stay friends with Annie, despite what I overheard. She has proven that even if she seemed indifferent and detached; she respected me as a comrade and was concerned for my safety.

As for Bertholdt, there was not one moment that I regretted spending with him. He was my only solace in the chaotic atmosphere of the Corps. He made me laugh, and smile, in all the ways I never thought I could again. I knew I could trust him. He loved me. He would never do anything to hurt me. Not intentionally. We fought sometimes, and most of the time it was because I forced him to share more about himself. It was always my bad, but it was always him who apologized and made me feel alright again.

I would try to distance myself from him, but he would come find me, take me in his arms, and everything felt like nothing went wrong in the first place.

The Shiganshina trio, as I liked to call them, were fun and challenging to be around. We liked talking about what we were going to do when we get outside these walls and wipe out the titans once and for all. They were very ambitious hopes, but with them, I felt like I wasn't being ridiculous. Unlike in Stohess, I was continuously perplexing people with my dreams and abilities. With them, I felt very appreciated.

There were countless nights of brimming tears of pain, my hand shivering as it hovered over yellowing paper; quite unready to write to my uncle. Those nights, my whole aching body wanted so badly to just return home and be withdrawn from this soul-murdering machine. But I resisted. And resisted. And now I'm finally here.

I got along with Armin the most. We both liked talking about the future, and we both enjoyed the classes more than the physical training. We almost always seemed to switch the ranks in the classroom. Either he ranked first, or it was me. We liked arguing, theorizing together, and reading books about the outside world.

He lit up the intellectual side of me. No one else could do that because most of the people here were driven by their selfish ambitions to either be the person their district expects them to be or to operate safely inside the walls. No one had enough guts to dream about life beyond these humongous concrete fences.

Mikasa was distant and silent, but she made a habit of checking up on me, seeing if I was maintaining myself well since I stayed up most nights sketching or reading, or writing to my uncle. When I accidentally skipped meals, she would come get me some, if Bertholdt had not been the first to. She was very reliable.

I was least close with Eren, but we were good friends. We had somewhat of a symbiotic relationship. I would help him by tutoring him about the lessons in class, and he would help me by training me during our spare time. Our friendship was mostly built around our common hope to find what else there is in the world. We were both aware of how big the world is, and we both wanted to explore it. Those were the stuff of our conversations as we spent time together. Imagining how we would be able to get the hell out of here.