Erase and Rewind (Full Book)

Chapter Thirty Two: Icarus

"You got it?" Malik asked Pink.

It was a chilly winter morning. Malik had volunteered to walk the dog to mask his meeting with the local snitch. Pink was propped on a bench at Windsor Park, hair matted and wearing Noah's scarf around his neck.

"It's in there," Pink passed the memory card and snatched the dollar bills out of Malik's hand.

Malik stared at the scarf. "You haven't told Jude we're working on something, right?"

Pink rolled his tired eyes. "I don't give a shit about your baby mama drama."

Horus whined and tugged at the leech. Malik gave him a bit of leeway and the dog took a huge, firm dump not too far from Pink. Malik looked around the nearly empty park, there was no way he was going to pick poop with his bare hands. He had enough cash to pay the fine anyway.

"We done?" Pink scratched his head with bitten and filthy fingernails.

"Yeah," Malik tugged at the leech and Horus came to his side.

"Yo," Pink said looking at the grass. "Break to him fast."

"Who?"

Pink snorted. "The saint. He believes that love crap."

It was Malik's turn to stare. Pink had been an interesting character. He'd presented himself once dawn while Malik jogged. He had a reputation for being a lousy hooker and an excellent informant. Malik was reluctant at first to deal but gave it a go. He proved himself useful even if Malik didn't still trust him.

"I thought you didn't care?"

Pink got up. "I don't. It's...he's too nice it makes me sick."

Malik nodded although he disagreed. Noah wasn't nice. Nice was what people did to be accepted into society, to be polite, to get promotions or friends, or satisfy an image of who they should be. Nice was what Malik did to get his mother off his back and whenever he felt guilty. Kind, however, was a reflex. An emotional sequence of actions devoid of hidden agendas or accolades of vanity.

No. Noah wasn't nice; he was kind. A pure, untarnished spirit that mystified Malik the more he got to know him.

The local bakery had fresh thyme croissants. He got them for Noah and a bitter coffee for himself since he was avoiding carbs. When he got to the apartment building, Noah was sitting on the steps. He was in his lone surviving pair of jeans, a grey hoodie and a new pair of black Converse.

Horus barked and ran to lick and nuzzle his master's face. Noah petted the dog and whispered for him to stay still.

Malik peered at his lover. He was not the content, sated boy of hours ago. Instead, he was gaunt with a blank expression. If Malik had a plotting face, Noah had a mask and whenever it was on, it meant he didn't want anyone to know how he felt.

"What're you doing here?" Malik knew Noah hated the cold.

Noah cleared his throat. ''I need to head out."

Malik frowned. "I'll drop you off wherever."

He shook his head. "I got to move out. Find somewhere else to stay."

Malik's frown deepened. "Did I piss you off somehow?"

"Your uncle is upstairs."

The coffee cup slipped from Malik's fingers sending drops of scalding liquid on the building's front steps, the tip of Noah's shoes while Horus leap away just in time.

"Shit," Malik stooped to pick up the disgraced cup and tossed it in the nearest bin.

"Home run," Noah muttered.

"What did he say to you?" His uncle had obviously thrown Noah out and shook him to the core.

"It doesn't matter," the strength was back in his voice. "Whatever happens, you can't lose your family."

Malik's grip on the bakery's paper bag tightened, the crinkled noise instantly swallowed by the howling wind. "I can't lose you."

Noah cocked his head to the side, a sad smile playing on the lips Malik had kissed eons ago. "When you found me, I tried to rebel against you. I thought I had to keep running to survive. I couldn't keep getting closer to the sun without risking burns."

Malik reached out to stroke his lover's cheek but Noah flinched.

"I can't," he whispered. "Forgive me, I'll break."

"Listen to me. I'll sort it out," Malik took off his smartwatch. "Put this on. Book a room at the nearest motel, text me where you are and I'll come."

Noah hesitated as he took the watch. "How long...should I wait?"

"An hour tops," Malik passed him money too. "I'll come for you, I promise."

Noah stuffed his hands in his pants pocket, seeming lost and determined at the same moment. "Sometimes you shine too bright, I can't look at you. It's clear why you have such a fierce family and adoring fans."

Why was he rambling?

"In Greek mythology, Icarus' father fashions him wings of wax and feathers to escape the labyrinth for King Minos of Crete," Noah prattled on, "the wing made Icarus so giddy, so high, he forgot his father's warning about flying too close to the sun. The wax melted from the heat and the feathers...I suppose they were blown away," Horus pressed his head against his master's crotch, "everyone paints it as such a tragic tale because Icarus fell to his death but...how many people can say they got to fly around a legend?"

Their neighbor, a med student on the fifth, huddled past them in her coat. Noah stared after her and said; "Know what I think? I think Icarus was the luckiest man in the world."

A lump formed in Malik's throat. He had planned to spend the day talking, kissing, and maybe figuring out where they stood when it came to their far from predictable relationship. He'd thought he had time to work through that. He had time to consider when and if he was going to tell his family about them. He'd been too caught up in the latest discoveries about the case and Noah's past to think his sexuality would be unraveled without careful planning.

They should've had more time.

"This isn't goodbye," Malik said more harshly than intended. A motorcycle whizzed by, followed by the city's bus filling the air with polluted exhaust.

Noah didn't seem to notice and scratched behind Horus' ear who licked his master's hand. "Take care of him for me," Noah said but Malik wasn't sure if the command was meant for him or the dog. Nevertheless, he grabbed the leech as Noah crossed the street without glancing over his shoulder.

Horus barked and strained against Malik's hold. It took several moments to console and persuade him to climb the stairs to meet the landlord.

"It'll be okay," Malik petted him. Once again uncertain if the words were for him or the blind dog.