SNL 2020

Jerk

Qing: Jerk. I have been telling you, that guy was a jerk so you should call him Jerk.

Me: Yeah? Well, the only one acting jerkish right now is you. So what should I call you?

Qing: (grumpy beyond belief) The love of your fucking life!

I sighed. There will be no reasoning with this guy when he is in this mood. Qing didn't like it that a male friend of JiJi sent me a goodwill basket of wine and cheeses. Okay, maybe he has a reason to be jealous because the guy, GongZhe, was indeed a jerk to include a note on the basket he sent.

The note reads like this...

"I truly enjoyed our meeting and conversation. I hope we can have dinner sometime. Since I learned you like cheeses, I sent this basket for you. I hope you think of me as you enjoy them...xoxo GongZhe..."

Okay, that is suggestive. And disrespectful. I mean, the guy knows I am in a relationship because when I met him while item hunting with JiJi last month, we told the guy that I am in a relationship with Qing, JiJi's little brother.

What happened was, we took a little break from looking for the items on JiJi's lists. I asked her if we can check out an artisan cheese shop so I can buy stuffs for a cheese smorgasboard. Yes, I do those stuffs now. Cheese smorgasboard. I can also spell smorgasboard now. I feel so...elite. I don't know.

But don't be fooled. Smorgasboard might sound so classy and elite but you can arrange one using simple ingredients that doesn't have to be so expensive. I don't buy big wheels of cheeses and expensive canapes for my cheese smorgasboard. I usually buy humble slices of different cheeses like guyere, gouda or brie and crackers. I think three cheeses on one board is good enough. No need for more than that. And then be generous with fruits. Fruits and cheeses also go well together. No need to overthink stuffs while making a cheese smorgasboard.

But while we were in the cheese shop we bumped into JiJi's friend, GongZhe. They went to the same university together and they might not be close but they do keep contact and see each other from time to time. So yeah, they are friends. JiJi introduced me to GongZhe as Qing's boyfriend. I was happy with that.

GongZhe is a nice looking man. I like the way he dressed in a simple loose shirt and dark pants. His hair is also not overly styled. The long wavy locks moves naturally as he moved his head. He has expressive brown eyes and generous lips. He has a strong jawline and chin while his neck a bit long for my taste. He also has a nice body. All in all, yes he is attractive.

Me: (to Qing) But you are still way more attractive than him.

Qing: (frowning) How? How come you notice guys are attractive now? I thought you are straight and only gay for me.

Me: (confuse) What?

Qing: (frown deepening) You never notice guys as attractive before.

Me: What are you talking about? I have eyes. I see if a person is attractive or not.

Qing: No. You know to say when a person is good looking...not attractive.

Me: (confuse) Is there a difference between saying a person is good looking or attractive?

Qing: Of course. I am fine with you saying someone is good looking. Sure, they are good looking. But you cannot be attracted to them.

Me: Who is attracted to anyone else?

Qing: You called that jerk attractive!

Me: Because he is attractive.

Qing: Are you attracted to him?