Iscariot

Let's play a game where all of the lives we lead can change

Let's play a game where all of the lives we lead can change.
-One Republic - Au Revoir

https://youtu.be/B4EAEC8URa4

Author's note

Dear wonderful, amazing readers,

Okay, let me just say it. Wow. 255,335 words. Finished. This is mind-blowing to me. The largest project I've ever done in my life (that wasn't part of my job)!

I did not expect this story to be this long or to be over three years in the works. It has traveled with me in my mind since its first glimmer while I wrote James' story: Needing is One Thing. It built momentum in my mind as I wrote Erik's story: Fire N Gold.

This one? Iscariot? This was Damien's story. It was a promise I made to the character when I wrote a short one-page to a song so long ago, which I'll add here, after the note. This was Damien finding his promised happiness with Mika after a long string of hardships. Damien, with all his sweetness, his complexity, his darkness, and the balance to separate himself from all the thoughts he lives with every day and which he chooses to act upon. He is such a good character and I'm glad I could explore him and give him his happy ever after.

Why? Why did I put the characters through all of this? Because life is messy. I've made mistakes. And if there's one thing I absolutely love about playing VNs, it's that you can go back and do a different route, try again, change things and see a different ending. You can do that with your own life, too, if you think about it. Not go back but change your ending. Some regrets will always stick, but others can be addressed. Apologies can be made, you can change, your life can change, no matter how much you think you fucked it up and no matter how much the world itself fucks you.

I have come to realize most of my regrets are from "poor life choices." Not that I knew it at the time of choosing, as we all know. No one says "I'm going to be an idiot." Hell, good intentions, all that stuff.

So Mika made a poor decision. And it had repercussions in the story because when she sends the boys away, they don't just disappear. Then Ezaeur made a poor decision. And James. And Erik. And Sam.

Who am I kidding? Sam did everything right. He's just a cocky rude hot-ass boy you love to hate while he's doing it. LOL. And Matthew did pretty good, himself. I can't tell you how much I loved writing his charming sexy attitude.

There was a time when I said I couldn't write Matty. I couldn't connect with the fun young brother. I'm older than the target demographic of the games. Matt makes me feel like a creeper when he looks so young. Surprisingly not Damien, who is even younger. Must be an innocence thing, too.

But anyway, to answer a few more potential questions, I outlined the story before I wrote it. I knew where it was going the entire time, but let the middle part and the details work itself out. I hit a block when I had to kill Erik. I knew Erik would die before I wrote the second page of the intro and I like Erik's character. I feel for how much is hidden away inside of him that my imagination can explore. But in the end, it really felt right with the story.

In this world, the brothers represent the keys Lilith gave to the Demons, the main forces the Demons have in the Abyssal Plains. The Demon Lord, the epitome of their overall culture, Raestrao. The Dream Lord, it is dreams that feed the wants, desires, love, and brings inspiration and beauty to the world, the epitome of the incubi and the succubi, Erik. The Dragon Lord, the strongest of the races on the Plain, the most honorable, just as the brutes are the strongest of the Demons. Sam's honor and determination won him his place more than just his brute strength, making him the choice to lead the Plains beyond the trap Raestrao fell into, without the influence of their father to hinder Sam.

The Shadow Lord, Matthew was almost trapped, himself. Feeling eclipsed by James' success and ability as the Heir, Matthew would have fallen into resentment and jealousy had he stayed in the Abyssal Plains, mostly ignored until his ambition and need to challenge himself would twist him into even Shadow's own worst nightmare. Instead, Mika and her grandfather had enough influence on him. Matthew chose his own path. And while he still came into the power with Shadow's demise, he is going to be very, very different in how he wields it.

And Damien? Damien is a Lord. I will only tell you that much because even though this is his story, that is another story to tell. He is Lilith's conscience and that of his brothers, too. And of all of them, he is the most powerful, but he walks a very narrow line, balancing between falling to good or evil.

Mika and Lilith? Well, Lilith's powers pass to her scions, as we know from Ezaeur. But long ago, another story happened. After all, Adam and Eve didn't have demon magic to give to humans. But Lilith and her scions did. Let's just say Lilith and Mika are cousins in a way, letting the Mother of Demons find sanctuary within our Demon magic-wielding girl.

And Ezaeur? I like to call her a Villain of Circumstance. She didn't mean to cause some of the pain and trouble that happened. But some of it, she absolutely did. She is not a nice demon. She is not a good demon. She could definitely be called evil, especially with her penchant to kill people so easily in the games and destroy the lives and happiness of others just to spitefully get what she wants (including destroying her own). She's a very good "Don't try this at home, kids" character.

And if you come across ancient magic that no one is casting anymore, that's probably for a good reason.

That's about it. If you have more questions, ask in the comments and I'll happily answer. And now I must say:

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THANK YOU!!!!

Thank you to my readers for reading this entire opus, along with this boring author's note. Thank you for your comments and your time and really, for inspiring me through this whole book.

A Huge Thank You to Michaela Laws for giving me a world to play with for years.

Thank you to the Actors and Actresses and Artists who brought the characters and world to life (Especially those who did more than just one of those jobs, like writing, directing, programming, voicing, singing, composing the music, sound engineering, etc. You all know who you are and I appreciate your dedication to the games.)

And thank you to the fans who keep the Seduce Me world alive through fan fiction and art! If you're ever tempted to create your own, do it! It's so much fun, I can't even begin to tell you.

Lastly, thank you to the man who stands beside me as always, supporting me even when I neglect him with my nose buried in Scrivener. Together for twenty years, love. Let's hope for sixty more!

Thank you to the friends who think I'm crazy but are still happy to see me happy and enjoying myself.

And thank you to the friends who don't think I'm crazy and are happy to see me enjoying myself, too!

And Thank you, Martin. For all those long long long long talks about the plot and the characters over coffee. Thanks for letting me make you into one of the best villains I've ever written. And thanks for being you, you wonderful man!

And thank you, Doug, for not minding me making your wonderful man the best villain I've ever written!

There are others I can name: Nik, Bri, Bex, Dan, Amy, Rob, Scott, Matt, Dave, Patty, Kat, Pam, Vex, Akela, Bell, Jules, Jill, Margh, Julie, Damia, Corvus, and anyone I might have forgotten because my brain doesn't work that well anymore after all this writing. I think grammar is a thing? Maybe?

And lastly, thank you to the songs that inspired me, may they inspire you, too.

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Take care out there, my friends! Drop a kudo or a comment or a fav if I've entertained. Maybe tell your friends if you think they'd like it, too.

And remember:
Consider the choices you make and build your own happiness with the people around you!

With much love and KatHugs™ for everyone,

Erlenmeyer Kat