Iscariot

'Cause her hand's my paradise.

Bundled against the cold, Erik followed the garden path into the castle's inner courtyard, his thoughts weighing heavily. Lilith is mine and it's about time I start acting like a Lord in more than just name. Talking with Raestrao last night, he realized he wasn't ruling. Not in the way his brother did, nor in the way Ezaeur had, and definitely not in the way the kingdom needed. He would not become a tyrant, but he needed to at least be aware of what his people were facing. I might be able to guide some of the changes I saw in Raestrao's kingdom into my own.

A deep yawn took him off guard and he fought to stifle it, exhausted. Raestrao had left shortly after his vow to leave Lilith alone. They both needed sleep, his brother's mind just as heavy as his when they had parted ways, but Erik couldn't. He wouldn't. Instead, he made himself walk in the cold to stay awake, pacing around the castle. He wouldn't sleep while Mika was asleep. Not anymore. Yesterday, her glances were lingering on him longer, her attraction growing consciously and subconsciously. Now it wasn't only the call of her energy and body, but the lure of her dreams he was fighting.

You only have to make it through a few more hours. Then Mika would be back in the human world and the distance alone would give him some respite to rebuild his defenses. She needs to leave before I make a mistake. Before he destroyed the trust and friendship he struggled so hard to build and maintain. Before he lost what little self-worth he had left.

I will always want her. Always. He knew that now. He'd come to accept it and fiercely refused to act on it, ever, no matter what. Instead, yesterday, he gave her to Damien. It had been close, too close, and Erik's control was slipping down a precarious slope. His brother may have led to Andrew's death but Damien had always loved Mika, if a demon could ever love. He would respect and take good care of her. He would never hurt her, which was more than he could say.

And what if what you fear is true? What if what you suspect finally happens? If so, it would be a relief to know it was Damien.

Warmth hit Erik at the same time he saw the flowers at the edge of the path and he paused. Daisies were growing up beside the dying mums, bright green grass littered with them, growing alongside the dormant dry brown of fall. His head lifted from the edge and he finally saw the circle, forty feet across, with her sitting in the middle of it.

"Mika?" Cautiously, he stepped across the border. Life energy flowed through him, more than just her healing, more than he'd ever felt before, it had revitalized the garden around her as if it were the heart of summer. Mika's head was down, her hands moving in her lap, her long skirt a soft circle covering her legs on the grass.

Erik drew closer, unwinding his scarf in the unexpected heat, opening his coat, absently letting both drop to the ground and leaving them behind. Mika's energy and magic welcomed and surrounded him, submerging him beneath the waves that constantly pulled at him.

It took an effort to hold onto himself as he approached, the world almost dream-like in the sunny circle. He swore he could feel the presence of tall trees beyond its edge, the comfort of his forest. "Mika?" Erik hesitated to ask, but he had to. "Where's Damien?" Why would he leave her alone? It was too dangerous for her in the demon world. Why didn't she stay with him?

"He's asleep. Sit with me," she offered the space beside her. Her voice was quiet, the sweet lilt reminding him of when she was younger, when they had first met. Her hair was a soft fall down her back, her make-up bringing out the vibrant color of her bright green eyes. She looked as if she belonged there, an innocent pretty bloom in the revitalized garden. Her perfume, one he'd chosen for her, was delicate in the still air. It was the Mika of his dreams once more and he found himself entranced, dropping down cross-legged in the grass before her, filled with wariness and wonder.