Erase and Rewind (Full Book)

Chapter Twenty Seven: Erase

"What're you suggesting?" Malik asked in a barely audible whisper.

He had to be brave. Malik deserved better. He couldn't run or back away. He had to make the decision easier for him. He always knew the time spent with Malik was borrowed time. His sole regret were the hours wiled away without him in it. But it was alright. The last person to torment him, would be him. Giving up his life would give Malik peace.

"I can take a lot. Cuts. Burns. I'm quiet too. And when it's time for me to go, I know a place. Some of the other kids, when it got too much, they went there. Nobody would care if I washed up on the shore."

I don't want to die.

Malik closed his eyes. His handsome face contorted then instantly smoothed. He got up while looking him straight in the eye, and closed the gap between them.

Noah clenched his fists harder then let them hang loose at his sides. He loosened his muscles too. He didn't know where Malik would strike first. His father's preference had been his face. Would Malik prefer the abdomen? Pummel him to the ground like the vermin he was?

For a moment, Malik loomed over him. "I'm sorry."

Noah braced himself for impact.

Count the blows, boy.

Malik yanked his arm and pulled him into his chest. The shock was paralyzing. Malik held him in his arms. Tight.

"God, all this time." He kissed the top of his head. "You went through this on your own. And I watched you suffer. I should've been the person you could go to."

Noah's heart was almost leaping out of his chest. He was drowning in him. He was too warm. Too kind. He cranked his neck and Malik wiped the tears across his cheeks.

"No."

Malik kissed his forehead. "I got you."

"No." He said again and pushed at Malik's chest. "Haven't you heard what I just told you?"

"I have."

"I'm Rami's murderer."

"You were a pawn—"

"It wasn't like that. I wanted to please my father. I wanted him to like me."

"You were a victim."

Noah broke free of Malik's arms. He wiped at the tears with the back of his sleeve. "I wasn't some helpless kid you see on the news. I liked my school and he let me adopt Andromeda for a while. And I stayed because I thought maybe if I stuck around my mom would come back for me. She didn't. Know why? Because she knew I wasn't worth it. She was smarter than you are."

The desperate insult hung in the air.

Malik smiled sadly. "I don't think she left because of you. She must've loved you."

A sharp stabbing pain went through his chest. He gasped and his knees buckled. Malik held him before he collapsed.

"Let go of me," he rasped. It hurt.

"I can't."

The pain was a welcome distraction. He could be swept away by something he understood.

"Get off."

"Tell me where it hurts?"

Noah resisted the urge to laugh. Malik was tormenting him. He was going to strike any minute. He had to be. He was building him up to tear him down.

"Please. Please do it." He managed to implore him. ''Don't let pity distract you."

Malik drew him close, he was cross-legged on the carpet beside him. "I can't begin to tell you how much I pity you. You were abused, Noah. That will never stop breaking my heart.''

Sob escaped from Noah's lips. "It's not true. I wasn't good enough."

"You're more than enough."

"No,'' he yelled. "Why wouldn't you understand."

"Habiby..."

"No." He clapped his hands over his ears. Where was the pain in his chest? He needed it. He bit his tongue until the familiar taste of copper filled his mouth. His head was spinning.

"Calm down," Malik said gently.

"You...uh...don't understand. I need the pain. I-I can't...I don't know where I am. I need to concentrate."

He felt Malik's finger try to pry his mouth open. Noah screamed at him to get away and that was all it took. Malik shoved two of his fingers in Noah's mouth, he locked his hands over his head while he lay beneath Malik on the soft carpet. He was entrapped, pinned.

"If its pain you need, take mine. Bite."

Noah could feel his eyes widen. Mixed in with the tang of blood was a sample taste of Malik's skin. He blinked and the tears flowed, they came in torrents. His vision blurred as he was lifted into the sanctuary of Malik's arms. He was taken to the bedroom, he could no longer fight as Malik lay him on the bed's soft mattress.

"I destroy everyone I touch." He cried into Malik's shirt.

"Well, I have a thing for wild boys," Malik's voice was gruff. He lay next to him on the bed.

Noah wept for hours. He got snot over Malik's shirt. He pointed it out and Malik tossed the shirt over his head. Noah shook until there were no more tears left to cry. Until he was hollowed and darkness claimed him.