Where feet may fail

8 - Nightmares

🎶Is It Just Me - Emily Burns🎶

I'm sitting in my apartment, working on some stuff, trying to keep my mind off of tonight.

After contacting my doctor, telling him I lost my pills, he told me he would look if he could do something. Good god, I hope he can fix something. The last time I had a nightmare was a year ago when I forgot to take a pill that night. Let's just say that after that night I never forgot a pill again. I had forgotten how bad and scary the nightmares were. Before that, I hadn't had a nightmare in years because of the pills.

I can only imagine what tonight will be like, even though I'm secretly hoping I've grown out of it. That my mind and body have gotten over it, but I know that probably won't be the case.

My thoughts get interrupted by the buzzing of my phone. I pick it up and see a message from Abby.

Abby: We're having a bbq at our place tonight. Dress casually and I'll see you in a bit. No negotiating!

I roll my eyes while texting her back that I'll be there in 15 minutes. No need to change in something else. I'm wearing shorts and a boho-style white blouse. Casual enough in my eyes. I grab another purse, thank god I brought more than one, my jacket for if it gets cold later tonight and I walk out of the door.

When I get to the address Abby had texted me I smile. Their house was only two streets away from the elementary school in this town and I can only guess that that's the reason they chose this house. Their kids will have the perfect childhood.

I walk around the house into the garden and find everybody already gathered. Including Enzo. I should've seen that coming.

I take a deep breath before announcing myself. "Hey, guys!" I say excitedly and they all turn to me. I can smell that they already started the fire and I welcome the sent. For some reason, I've always liked fire and the smell of it.

"Hey, you made it," Abby says enthusiastically as I walk further into the garden. She pulls me in for a tight hug and I let out a breathless laugh. "Jeez Ab, we saw each other earlier today." She lets go with a laugh and turns to the guys.

"We went surfing and you wouldn't believe it, Skylar is still. the. best." She beams. Caily shakes her head. "Not as good as she used to be though." She jokes and I shoot her the finger with a smile. "You're just jealous that even after six years of less surfing I'm still better than you." I wink at her and she rolls her eyes, smiling.

"The place is beautiful Ab, for some reason exactly what I envisioned for you and Z," I say as I take a look around. "That's all her doing, I just helped to pay." Zeke jokes and Abby hit his chest. "Shut up, we did this together." She smiles at him and they kiss.

Okay didn't need to see that.

"I can't believe I haven't seen where all of you guys live nowadays. What about the rest of you?" I ask while looking at Caily and Rachel. "Well, Ry and I live in a house just a little bit more north in town. Actually no, we live on the edge of town. We like the silence." She smiles while Ryker has now found his way behind her, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"And Isaac and I are living in an apartment not far from here. We're saving up for a house on the south side of town." She explains and I nod. Rachel has always been perfectionistic. She always liked my house a lot more than her own, because we lived up the hill on the south side. That gave us a great view of the ocean.

"So no house here in the north for you guys?" I ask for reassurance and they both nod. "Still going for that dream house up the hill?" I ask and she nods. "You should know, you're the reason that dream came to life." Isaac chuckles and I laugh. "How was I supposed to know that? We were five when we met." I remind him and everybody laughs.

"Besides it's closer to work for Isaac." She reminds him and he nods. "You got me there." I smile at his reaction. He's the manager of the golf club here in Morro Bay. It wasn't exactly what he wanted to be but the money is good and he has a lot of spare time where he can do whatever he wants. He and Rachel both always dreamt of becoming rich. Are they almost there? I'm not sure, but they're on the right track.

"I never understood that money dream of yours." Caily scoffs and Rachel rolls her eyes. "I like being comfortable, doesn't everybody?" She looks at me and I know what's coming next. "I mean look at Skylar-" Here we go. "-She literally flew first-class coming here. She can do whatever she wants, look at the way she dresses, and the stuff she has." She points at my iPhone and I let out a huff.

"Money doesn't always make you happy Rachel." I remind her and she nods. "But it does make life easier. Sometimes I just wished I would've left town, like you. To have better opportunities, like you. I mean I love Morro Bay, it's the town I grew up in but bigger cities have so much more to offer." She whines and I glance at Isaac. He's clearly uncomfortable.

"Okay well, enough money talk, more food talk," Enzo says all of a sudden and we all look at him. He grabs some food and throws it on the grill, the air immediately filling with the smell of food. That was enough to distract us all from the serious conversation we were having. We are adults, I can tell you that.

During the rest of the bbq, my mind wanders off multiple times as I think about tonight. I can see in the corner of my eyes that Enzo watches me every now and then, clearly seeing that something is off but I shrug him off every time.

After a while, the sun goes under and the sky is beautiful. Pink, purple, and orange colors fill the sky but my heart sinks. Every minute brings me closer to tonight and I can't help but feel nervous.

I excuse myself to go to the bathroom and walk inside the house. Looking around the house brings a smile to my face, these two were meant for each other. There's a picture of them in the hallway that I'm sure will be replaced by a wedding picture in a few months. As I walk into the living room to take a look there, one framed picture catches my attention.

It's a picture of the eight of us at graduation. For some reason pictures always get me. They hit differently in many ways. The eight of us are all standing with our partners. Smiling brightly at the camera, I can now only imagine being that happy.

Being a little on edge since my stolen purse incident, a tear rolls down my cheek. I'm quick to wipe it away and blink a few times, trying to stop myself from crying. Like I said earlier, money doesn't always make you happy.

I hear the back door open and I quickly walk back to the garden. On my way back I pass Enzo and he catches the look on my face. He grabs my arm, stopping me from walking. "Skylar?" He asks confused, but I shake my head. "It's nothing, just let it go," I tell him. "Do you need anything?" He asks. Yes, my sleeping pills would be a great start. "No, I'm fine." I shoot him a smile and hope it's convincing enough.

I guess so because he lets go of my arm and I walk back outside, now with a better fake smile on my face since the last one couldn't fool Enzo.

☼☼☼

"No please don't! I'm begging you, I'll give you anything else! Please!" I scream at the top of my lungs. The dark figure comes closer to me and his rough hands grab my knees. "No please!" I scream as I struggle against his grip which only tightens more and more. Tears stream down my face and my throat hurts from all the screaming. "NOOO!"

Out of breath, I flinch awake. My heart is going a million miles an hour and sweat drips from my forehead. That was horrifying.

I close my eyes while trying to control my breathing before sitting up from my bed and taking a look around me. I'm in my apartment in Morro Bay, I'm safe. I tell myself again and take another deep breath before crawling out of bed. I look at the clock and see it's 4 A.M. Just another hour before the sun rises.

I look back at my bed. There's no way I'm going to sleep again after that. Might as well take advantage of being awake this early. I walk up to the mirror to take a look at myself and I freeze for a second. My skin is pale and the sweat is still visible on my face. With the dark circles under my eyes, you can tell from a mile away that I didn't have a good night of sleep.

The nightmare was horrifying, just thinking back at it gives me chills. But it wasn't a nightmare. It was a memory and a very scary one.