Annoyance (Spencer Reid x Reader)

The Visit

You barely had time Tuesday and Wednesday to get your place ready for Audrey. It's not like it was extremely dirty; in fact, while you were gone, someone had come into your apartment and cleaned everything. They washed the dishes, changed your bedsheets, even tidied up the bathroom.

It was more that you had to do laundry, and then clean out your fridge, and then fix the mess that was your closet, and ten million other things that you knew wouldn't matter to anyone else but you. The dumb fucking cast you were in made it so much worse. You still had at least another six weeks before you could take it off, and apparently your cracked ribs would take about the same amount of time to fix themselves.

It was so frustrating because you wanted to do everything by yourself, but Spencer was there next to you, trying to help. After you had gotten on to him for the umpteenth time, he took his cue and just observed, staying around you but out of your way. You appreciated that he wanted to help, but it was all stuff that you needed to do personally; no point in giving him a task that you would have to redo later. Plus, it was his fault that you had to do this anyways.

You knew he had just been trying to help, but the fact that Emily was still out there and you were supposed to be entertaining Audrey for three and a half days instead of being out in the field was upsetting to say the least. You were more nervous than excited to see her. You didn't know what your relationship was going to look like, how the in-person dynamic was going to work. You thought about her striking dark brown eyes, her thick curly black hair that she liked to keep up in a ponytail.

Ugh!

You accidentally slammed something down in the open fridge and you saw Spencer start from his seat the couch. Oops.

She was just so fucking brilliant and amazing and sweet and funny and nice and just so overwhelmingly pretty, you were sure she was going to be disappointed by you once she actually spent time with you here. Would she even want to be friends after this? There was also the question of the undeniable sexual tension the two of you had. She was obviously on the Spencer train, and you knew that you would respect those boundaries, but would she? Spencer was apparently going to stay here while Audrey was here too; he would take the couch while the both of you took your bed. You thought about what it would be like to lie down next to her, wake up to see her smiling face in the morning, her dark skin bathed in sunlight...

No. You couldn't afford to think like that. Yes, there had been something between you two, but it wasn't like that. You knew you caught feelings easily, that what you thought you felt for her romantically was just your mind looking for something to find. She had said the same thing to you, that it wasn't romantic. It's not like that. You kept repeating it to yourself in your head until you started to believe it.

It's not like that.

And what about Spencer? You were mad at him right now, but you knew it would pass. You couldn't quite describe it, but his behavior had been off since everything had happened. He was more introspective, quick to jump and help you if he thought you needed it. If he was close to you then he was touching you, a hand on your knee or your lower back, touching his arm to yours if you were standing next to each other, fingers combing through your hair or tracing the outlines of your body when you were alone. He was treating you like you were going to break at any moment, and he was trying to hold you together physically.

You knew you were repressing everything that had happened. You were burying it deeper and deeper in your brain, trying not to think about it. Because if you thought about it, it would consume you entirely. You'd be no good to anyone, not even yourself. So you ignored it, pretending that you couldn't recall the way it felt to be kicked in the ribs until you couldn't breathe, the way it felt to be held down and carved open like a piece of meat.