Annoyance (Spencer Reid x Reader)

The Pen

You were grateful that the team chose to ignore how you held Emily's hand on the flight home. You sat with your head against the window, eyes closed as you played music through your headphones to drown out the world. You knew this was going to be exhausting, knew it wasn't going to be easy. You just didn't expect for it to take so much out of you.

Hotch had given the team a few days off, and you spent both of them in bed. It wasn't depression, per se, but you needed extra time to process the events of last week. You slept a lot, thankfully dreamless sleep, and got takeout when you could. Yet no matter how much you slept, you still felt tired. You knew the emotional labor you had expended was more than you could handle, so you spent most of your time watching mind-numbing television and surfing social media on your phone. Anything to distract you from the photos you'd seen.

Your first day back, you were summoned to Hotch's office. Your heart racing, you climbed the stairs. You'd forgotten about the fact that you would get feedback. Were you actually a valuable asset to the team? Hotch took a seat as his desk and you followed suit, slightly sitting on your hands so you wouldn't start to wring them with worry.

"You did a nice job, Agent. Thank you for your hard work out there. I know it isn't easy, but you gave it your all, and that is greatly appreciated. We're still keeping you on probation as per protocol, but I have no doubts that you'll succeed with us in the future."

You breathed a sigh of relief. Thank God. Your heart rate started to decelerate until you had processed the next words that came out of his mouth.

"A new job comes with new paperwork and new responsibilities. Today, you're going to sit with Dr. Reid while he walks you through how to handle casework after traveling. He does it very quickly and efficiently, so I'm sure he will teach you well."

Seeing the look on your face, Hotchner paused.

"Is that... going to be a problem for you, Agent?"

You composed yourself and smiled.

"Absolutely not. I apologize, I was just really worried about my feedback. I really appreciate your encouragement. Do you think you could email me some tips or things you would like me to improve upon for our next case?"

He eyed you warily but you suppose he decided that pursuing this new line of questioning wasn't worth the time.

"Of course. Paperwork is usually due within 3-5 days after a case, so get to work. I'll be looking out for your files. Don't hesitate to ask if you have any other questions. I've already informed Reid that you'll be joining him today, so he's already waiting for you. Good luck."

"Thanks, Hotch." You stood from his desk, shook his hand, and made your way down to the bullpen. You decided to go over to Reid first and get the awkward moment out of the way. He looked up while you were walking over, and you made eye contact with him as you did. He had really pretty eyes.

"Hey, Y/N. Pull up a chair and we'll get started."

You grabbed your chair from your desk and rolled it over. It was then that you realized. These desks were spacious enough for one person, but not enough for two. You were going to be cramped next to this man all day. You sighed lightly and pulled your chair next to his, squeezing in beside him.

This was going to be so uncomfortable. You were hyperaware of how close your knees and shoulders were to almost touching, and you could feel his warmth through the cardigan he wore. He smelled like men's deodorant and coffee and old books, something so comforting to you that you had to shake your head to snap out if it. This was inappropriate.

"Alright, so-"

Without any introduction, Reid turned to the computer and started to explain the process of paperwork. How to find the files, what to fill out where, what order things should go in, etc. You were trying to pay attention, you really were. But the warmth coming from his body and the drone of his voice and the leftover tiredness you felt from the week before started to get to you, and you started to zone out entirely. You resisted the urge to rest your head on your hand because you knew you'd probably fall asleep if you did.