Something New

Thirty Two

"Hindi pa po, may ulam pa po ba?" tanong ko at ngumiti si Mama bago tumango. Sanay na kasi sila sa akin na hindi ako nakakasabay tuwing Friday, hindi pa naman sila nagtatanong kung bakit dahil alam naman nila na kasama ko si Zeke kaya kampante din sila.

Or maybe, humahanap lang ang magulang ko ng tiyempo para tanungin ako, na hindi ko yata kakayanin ngayon kasi baka umiyak lang ako. 

"Nasa ref, teka sabihan ko si---"

"Ako na ma, I can manage." I said before standing up.

"Oh, okay." sabi ni Mama na halatang nagulat sa akin pero nagtuloy-tuloy na ako sa kusina.

Before actually walking inside the kitchen, pinagmasdan ko pa muna yata yung bahay namin, it screams luxurious, yes, but mainly because of my father's preference since sya ang nagpatayo ng bahay na ito. He wanted a comfortable life for his family and he knew my mother loves to cook so he made it to a point that everything she'll need will be here.

I did grew up having everything that I want handed to me in a silver platter, but we also live a normal life inside this house, simpleng pamilya din naman kami kahit pa anong yaman ang tingin sa amin ng ibang tao.

Napailing-iling na lang ako bago binuksan ang ref at ilabas doon ang pagkain, para akong robot na nag-init ng ulam at naghanda ng kakainin ko pero lutang naman ang isip ko. 

I just sat on the high stool chair and decided to eat at the kitchen bar counter pero hindi naman ako makakain ng matino.

For the first time, no matter how I love to eat, wala akong gana kahit pa kaldereta ang ulam na nakahain sa akin ngayon. Mas naalala ko lang si George, iyong unang gabi ko kina Tita May na nagkasalubong kami at may dala syang kaserola ng niluto nyang kaldereta.

"Ba't walang gana ang prinsesa ko?" tanong ng isang boses na ikinagulat ko kaya nabitawan ko ang kutsarang hawak ko.

"Ay hindi ka nga pala princess, you're a little warrior right?" my mom giggled as she caress my hair. Ganoon na ba ako katulala na hindi ko namalayang nakaupo na pala sya sa tabi kong silya?

Her chin was resting on her one hand while her other hand was caressing my hair and back, the same thing she does back when I was a kid, iyong malungkot ako kasi bagsak ako sa quiz namin, or that I am upset about what my so-called friends did to me back in first year college.

"Something's bothering you? Nandito si mama para makinig." I shed a tear from what she said na agad kong pinunasan. I took a deep breath before trying to laugh, uminom din ako ng tubig para hindi ako tuluyang mapaiyak nang magsalita sya ulit.

"You know Aurora, ever since you were a kid, I know that you'll grow up to be a strong woman. Tanda ko pa noon, kapag nasasaktan ka, kahit anong pilit mong itago sa amin iyon, alam at alam kong umiiyak ka kung saan mangsulok ng bahay na ito na tingin mo walang makakakita sayo." my mom chuckled as if she remembers something.

"You knew about that?" I asked, not believing that she knew my little secret.

"Oo, I am your mother, you can't hide anything from me." she proudly said that made me smile.

"You have this habit of putting on a brave exterior, of handling everything at ease which I really admire you for. But sometimes, it's okay to admit to yourself that you're hurt, you don't need to wear a mask when you're with us, or with your brothers."

"Kahit ano pa yang dinadamdam mo o pinoproblema mo, maliit man o malaki, kasama mo kami palagi. Okay?" my mom said and I nodded my head.

How stupid of me to even forget that I have them, that they were the one who was there for me first before anyone else.