Chapter Fifteen: She's Here

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Alex’s POV

Standing there, watching himhold her in his arms hurt more than I thought was even possible. I felt like every single wall I had built around my emotions were just knocked to the ground in a huge heap of broken shards and rubble, leaving me exposed and weak. I wanted so badly to run out of there and hide, trying to ignore it all. I wanted to go home and sit in my room and call Maddi, telling her everything that Liam had done to me. I wanted her to assure me that everything would be alright and then go on another rant telling me how him and Danielle should go rot in hell and that I didn’t have to worry about some guy because she would be there for me no matter what. I wanted to forget everything that happened in this past year because it all hurt too much.

“Come on.” Jules mumbled to me grabbing my hand and pulling me away from the couple’s reunion. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t argue. I just let her lead me away as I followed numbly.

We made our way out of the airport and towards where Liam had parked the van in the parking lot. She opened the back door and climbed in silently. I followed with slow shaky movements, shutting the door behind me. It was silent for a moment.

“W-Why are we here? W-W still have to introduce ourselves and the others may start to worry.” I rambled, staring at the back of the seat in front of me. Maybe if I tried hard enough, I would be able to just erase this all from my head. I won’t know why I was upset and Payzer would have no affect on me. Liam would just be another stupid popstar and the others would be my normal friends.

“Alex…” her voice was soft and concerned. “Please… just let it out. Don’t act strong for me or the others. Just… cry.” She pleaded, sounding frail. Noramlly she was so loud and strong willed. Hearing her sound like that just made me realize exactly how broken I actually felt. Nothing was hidden or buried any more. All the scabs had been ripped off and it felt like I was left there to bleed.

And for the first time since Maddi’s death, I did what Jules asked me to do. I cried to her. I shoved my head into her shoulder and sobbed uncontrollably. Believe me, I have cried a lot in the past year. But never to her. Never like this. Never anything like this.

Jules didn’t say anything. She didn’t argue or try to quiet me down. She just hugged me, not speaking a word or letting go.

I wasn’t sure how long she held me while I sobbed like an idiot. Yeah, I was in pain, heartbroken, and stupid, but on top of all of that I was angry. I had kept on trying to get myself to forget about him and get him out of my mind and just move on, butt it felt like all that happened over the past couple of weeks was I fell for him more. It made no since, and I was so angry for doing this to myself.

 My sobs had grown silent by the time Jules’s phone went off. She cursed under her breath as she shifted to dig it out of her pocket.

“Hello?” she answered sounding worn. I felt bad. She shouldn’t be sitting in the parking lot of an airport in a black van, holding onto her incredibly idiotic friend as she cried over some guy. She should be inside, getting to know the famous Danielle Peazer, and spending as much time with the boys as possible. She should be trying to figure out her feelings for Niall instead of my feelings for Liam. She should be thinking about her own problems.

“Lou- Louis… Louis Tomlinson! Calm the fuck down! Jesus, you sound like Liam… Yes you should take that as an insult!” Jules yelled into the phone. I flinched. What was he saying that caused Jules to yell at him like that? “We’re in the car… because Alex doesn’t… uh… feel good… yes, she’ll be alright… don’t worry you guys can take your time… if you want to, I thought Niall said that you were all going to stop and get food before we left… you don’t have to, we’re fine… only you two?... No Zayn?” she grew quiet again as she listened to Louis’s response before laughing. “Yes, yes, he does have to share… okay. I guess I’ll see you two when you get here… okay… bye.”

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