Magnus Academy: The Cursed Blood

Chapter Fifty-Two

The Song of War

It was said that emotions are created by the various networks located in the brain. Emotions are what give definitions to those brought by the sensation a body would feel. Emotions are also there as a way of survival, one wouldn't particularly know anything if they do not even have a single emotion. Each emotion has a pattern that these 'various networks' in the brain create, as though a programmed input already placed inside that in blink of a certain emotion--let's say anger--it would draw lines--ending in a shape that determines the emotion 'anger'. Emotions are innate, every living thing has it, capable of it, and cannot 'not' have it--for having none at all would mean one is already dead. Emotions not only carry energy, they are also the reason why people have spiritual energies to begin with. 

If someone could tamper with these emotions, eventually messing with the 'various networks' that would mean generally manipulating the mind. With that, I could somehow understand the feeling of fear that comes with people who see me as a threat even if I wouldn't even do anything at all. I could absorb a person's emotion however I want, but that doesn't mean they are no longer capable of releasing that certain emotion for like I said, emotions are innate, everyone is born with it. 

But that won't be the case at all if I decide to actually alter one's emotion, making them incapable of feeling something and once a person can no longer feel any emotion--their brains would stop working for it can no longer send information to the body, rendering all the sensations useless. Doing so would bring absolute death. Thinking that way, I can see why most people see me as a powerful being that they needed to eliminate before I could do even more damage than they thought. 

But the thing is, that was a personal rule I had been keen on refusing, a rule that whatever should happen--I would never use my ability in such a way. However, the first time I broke that rule was when I was in that trance together with the rest of the groups and organizations, that time when I knew I would have died if I hadn't actually used it. I did not regret it. I had never felt so powerful in my whole life, it felt like in that moment--I could feel nothing but my own spiritual energy dominating everyone else, shutting them all off that whatever they could have done, I would have had prevailed in the end. It was a wonderful feeling, that sensation where I felt as though I could do whatever I want. 

Hindi ko ginusto maging isang tao na kinamumuhian ng mundo, na kahit saan man ako pumunta ay palaging may makakakilala sa akin. Maraming nagsasabi na mas mabuti pang kinakatakutan ka ng tao kaysa bigyan sila ng pagkakataong saktan ka. Sa takot, wala silang magagawa laban sayo dahil alam nila ang makakaya mo.Lumaki akong walang may gusto sa akin bilang ako, kung saan kailangan ko pang baguhin ang pagkatao ko para magustuhan nila. Pero hindi ganoon ang ginawa ko, mas pinili ko pang bauguhin ang mga tao sa paligid ko. Wala na akong pakealam kung makasarili man ang tawag sa katulad ko, wala na din akong pakealam kung ilang buhay man ang nawasak ko dahil sa mga desisyong ginawa ko. Pagod na akong umintindi ng mga tao, mali bang isipin muna ang sarili ko?

Looking at these rotten smell of decaying fleshes drenched the air as fire continued to spread everywhere, the scattering corpses of something barely recognizable which filled the empty streets, and the black dusts fading along the passing breeze--they didn't make me feel alive as what I had always been looking forward in a battle. Death was supposed to be thrilling, it was supposed to give me that sense of satisfaction, that feeling of losing everything. But that wasn't what I felt when that spear pierced my chest like a piece of paper, it was a provocation that stirred up that 'anger' inside me. 

"Kea..." Thana Keres clung to my neck from behind, still floating on her scythe. "Enough with that frown." Her voice was soft and alluring as always.