The Holy Death

Chapter 5

"I'm not interested in banter, Jill."

"Tell me about it. Anyway, why can't I come? I mean, yeah, sure, I'm a demon, but let's face it! You're going to have vampires there! Probably more vampires than you've actually invited."

"What do you mean?"

"You don't think Father is going to let the occasion go by without his stoic and unfun presence? Really?"

"So what?"

"And add to that, your canine friend Zed is going to be one of your groomsmen. How is Poochy doing, anyway?"

"Not even going to dignify that with an answer."

"Oh, come off the high horsey, Drac! Anyway, you're going to have vampires and at least one werewolf at your wedding, not to mention several agents of Ministry, one of whom is going to be the blushing bride. By the way, she will be blushing, right? I mean, she's still a virgin, right?"

"That's—That's none of your god damned business!"

"No, but's fun to tease you with. I mean, you're a vampire, she's still a virgin. I don't get it. Is this some kind of Twilighty special romantic bullshit thing?"

"No, Jill, it's her choice, and I mean to respect it, in so much as I can."

"Ah! Scott, you old dog! Thinkin' about doin' the nasty!"

Scott shook his head. "I've got to get to work, Jardine, as much fun as this has been. Really, and I mean it."

"Aww, you're no fun. We'll continue this later. Toodles!"

Disturbed by the interaction with Simeon College's Demon Princess (as he usually was whenever he had to interact with her), Scott continued on to the IT building, where his old job at the evening shift IT help desk awaited. Scott greeted his supervisor, Robin Thorsen, as pleasantly as he could, considering his stress level had just been increased dramatically by the interaction with Professor Jardine.

"So!" Robin said, "The big day is only about a month away!"

"Oh, god," Scott replied, rubbing his forehead, "Don't remind me. I've got enough stuff on my plate as it is. I haven't even started my thesis yet, and it's due in a couple weeks! Looks like I'll have to get a continuation."

"You need to relax a bit, Scott. Have you tried yoga? The wife and I have recently gotten into hot yoga. If there's something that will kill stress, it's an upward facing dog in a sweaty hundred-degree room."

"Yeah, that doesn't sound like my idea of fun."

"Oh, it's not fun, but when you're suffering through that, you can't think of anything else!"

"Even so, I'll pass."

The familiar scent of wet dog became stronger as Zed Mitsubishi marched into the room. "Pass on what?" 

"Scott's wimping out on hot yoga," Robin said.

"Can't blame him."

"You guys have no idea what you're missing," Robin said as she went back to her office.

"So what do you do for stress, Zed?" Scott asked.

"A few rounds of Mass Effect and Grand Theft Auto, and an IPA."