I've Never Been This Close

Feelings Are Like Waves

"Feelings are much like waves: we can't stop them from coming, but we can choose which one to surf." – Jonatan Mårtensson

***** WIN'S  POV *****

"HOLY FUCK!! What am I gonna do now?!?!" I whispered to myself as I walk away from Team with all the realizations that suddenly flashed through my mind.

I think I have been crushing on Team way back since the first day I saw him at the bus because I was literally so fascinated by how adorable he look...

As far as I know, it was just supposed to end at me just getting a little infatuated with him and it was not supposed to be more than that.

I have never even imagine getting acquainted with him.

However, everything became complicated when he auditioned and eventually became part of the swimming club.

I am supposed to be not that interested in him like how I treat the others.... I usually get a little interested but after a few encounter with that person, I will just suddenly lose my interest.

Strangely with Team, I actually even got a lot more curious and interested with him the more I get to encounter him.

I tried to stop myself but obviously I was not able to prevent it at all.

I distanced myself from him at first when I thought N'Manaow was his girlfriend but for some weird reason, he can still keep getting my attention without his intention up to the point that I even started wanting to get his attention too by simply just annoying him. 

When Team confirmed that Manaow and Pharm were both just his friends, I remember that I felt weirdly too happy. I kept on annoying him every way that I can just to get his attention. 

It was like my day will not be complete if I don't get to bicker or tease him even for a short a while.

Soon after, I noticed how Team and P'Pruk have suddenly became too close and comfortable with each other and that's when I started to feel weird within me. I get irritated seeing them enjoying each other's company and oddly I kind of hate seeing him getting too clingy with P'Pruk.

I was not that sure back then what was going on with me and I thought I was just too stressed that I easily get irritated with random things I noticed.

That was until I realized that I started to hate the fact that P'Pruk was Team's personal training buddy.

I hate it the most when I hear them laughing with each other during their training sessions as if they are the only ones existing. 

P'Pruk was really a super nice senior, he treats everyone the same and every junior will choose him as their favorite Phi if you ask around. I used to adore him a lot too but because of Team, I suddenly started getting irritated with him and his personality. I suddenly wished I was like him who can easily make the others like me for who I am.