Lost In My Head, Found In My Heart

Chapter 4

Casey was at a loss for words. The stress of his mom being admitted to the hospital and his secret feelings for Chase, were just too much for him. Tears started filling his eyes and his voice caught in his throat behind a lump. His knees gave out and he might have missed the chair and hit the floor if Chase hadn't rush forward to catch him. He eased Casey onto a seat, leaned down to retrieve the forms and then put an arm around around Casey to hold him upright. His reason for being here forgotten, Chase just held Casey while he sobbed on his shoulder. All he could do was offer words of comfort he'd heard offered to his mother when his grandmother fell ill. They sounded as hollow to him as they did when they were said to her but he didn't know what else to do. Soon, seemingly through no help of his, Casey pulled himself together and took the forms and clipboard from Chase. He mumbled an embarrassed thanks and stood up, looking at Chase, saying I have to give these to the nurse.  Then he went to the counter with the paperwork, leaving Chase sitting alone.

Chase thought about leaving now because he didn't know what else to do for Casey but he still had his phone. So, he stood and joined Casey at the desk. As he pulled out Casey's phone, he heard the nurse say that the doctors are still doing blood work, so it'll be a while before he can see his mom. Chase's heart broke at the look on Casey's face. So, he pocketed the phone and put an arm around Casey, guiding him back to the chairs. Chase wanted to talk to Casey, get to know him, but not under these kind of circumstances. The tears had stopped but Casey still looked shell-shocked.

Letting out a deep sigh, Chase said to Casey, "look, let's go to the cafeteria for something to eat. You could be waiting here for a while."

Casey didn't do more than nod. In fact, Chase had to lift him with an arm around his waist to get him to stand. It wasn't until they reach the cafeteria that Casey seemed to come out of his stupor. It was like he just came to the realization that Chase was beside him and had his arm around his waist. Casey's skin tingled where he felt the heat of Chase's touch. Maybe it was because he was swamped in concern for his mom, but he didn't feel embarrassed or anxious about the close contact. But maybe Chase was, because as soon as it was obvious Casey was aware of it, Chase slid his arm from his waist and put a little space between them. Casey knew he must look terrible with his bloodshot eyes and red nose. He dropped his head as he shuffled to the food case to grab a cold sandwich and maybe an apple. But Chase's hand found it's way to the small of his back and guided him to the counter where you could order hot foods. Casey didn't resist. His resistance had been shattered into scattered ruins by his worry. He heard Chase order two platters and two drinks. He mindlessly fumbled for his wallet but is blocked by Chase. I've got this, Chase says. He knew he should object but his mind can't construct an argument, let alone a sentence. Chase even carried the food to the table and Casey followed behind him. They sit down on opposite sides of the table and Chase takes the food off the tray, sitting Casey's in front of him. Casey sat there, looking at the food but not hungry in the least.

Chase said, "You need to eat something."

Casey said, "I know. I just wish they'd tell me something."Chase just nodded and took a taste of his soup.

Then, he pulled out Casey's phone.

He said, "Here. This is yours." Casey took it and then pulled out Chase's phone.

Casey says, "I guess I picked up the wrong phone in the park."

Chase shrugged and said, "No harm, no foul." Then, he added, "I like your screen shot. It's a picture of Jonathan Brownlee, shirtless after finishing a triathlon, right? Have you ever done one of those?"

Finally, Casey smiled as he chuckled and gives Chase an are-you-kidding- me look.

"Why not?" Chase asked. "Don't you know how to swim?"

"Oh, I can swim", Casey replied. Then, when Chase smirked,  he added, "And I can ride a bike, smartass."

Now, he picked up his hot ham and cheese. The conversation began to pick up now. They talked about school and classes. Their conversation became a fencing match of sorts. Chase tried to steer the conversation toward Casey, to learn more about him and Casey tried to turn it back around and learn more about Chase. Casey was surprised to learn that Chase saw him at school. It made him happy but also nervous. If Chase noticed him, maybe others did too and that scared him. By the time they finished eating, Casey was more at ease and a little less worried. But now, he needed to get back to the emergency room.

Chase said, "Okay. I'll walk back with you, if that's alright."

Casey said, "I'd like that."

At that, Chase broke into a big smile. They walked back in silence, but not as sad as before. Both guys seemed to feel a satisfaction from getting to know each other. Casey went to the counter and checked for an update. The nurse said she'd go find out for him. In the meantime, she told him to have a seat. So, he sat down and Chase joined him. Chase pulled out his phone to check the time and realized he still had Casey's phone. So, they made the exchange of phones, finally. As Casey pocketed his phone, the nurse came to find him and told him he could back to see her. A small knot formed in stomach but he exhaled deeply and tried to let go of some of the worry. He was surprised when Chase grasped his hand and told him it would be alright. Casey gave him a small but genuine smile of gratitude. They both stood up and Chase released Casey's hand. Casey thanked Chase for returning the phone and for keeping him company while he waited.

Chase said, "You're welcome."

Then, to Casey's surprise, Chase hugged him and said in his ear, "It'll be alright, but if you need to talk to someone and you're friends aren't around, just give me a call. You have my number."

Casey returned the hug and said, "I will."

Then Casey pulled back and, turning to follow the nurse, said, "Thanks again."

Then, he disappeared through a door as it swung shut. Chase watched until Casey was out of sight, then caught himself smiling. It wasn't how he planned to do it, but he had gotten to talk to Casey, and he was right. Casey was just as nice as he thought he'd be. And he was really looking forward to getting that call. At that, he turned and left the hospital, already dialing his mother's number to let her know where he was and that he was heading home. He knew she was probably already worried not knowing where he was, and he never wanted to give her a reason to worry.