Lost In My Head, Found In My Heart

Chapter 26

With help from his new coach, Chase was introduced to the act of topping. After a mind blowing first time, he laid on top of Casey, trying to catch his breath. The experience was intense and, judging by the sounds that Casey made, he must have done it correctly. He lightly kissed Casey's neck, to which Casey merely responded with a "Mmmm." Chase's mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. He couldn't even begin to explain to Casey what he was feeling or what all this meant to him. But he felt like he need to say something to Casey about this experience. Casey had been so patient with him and so gentle. But he was confused because he didn't know if his feelings were for Casey or if he was just grateful for someone to show him the ropes, so to speak.

Casey's eyes fluttered and it looked like he was drifting off to sleep. Chase had so many questions, but as the sated feeling swamped his body, he decided that a nap sounded like a good idea. As he drifted off to sleep, Casey mumbled something by his ear. Chase mumbled back, "what was that?"

Casey mutters, "I think I love you."

At that admission, Chase felt something light up inside him. He was uncertain before, but now he knew it was true. He wasn't sure if this is what love felt like, but he knew this feeling was for Casey, and Casey alone. He snuggled closer and hummed in contentment before drifting off to sleep.

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Chase awoke to the realization that something warm and moist was pressed against his neck. When he remembered where he fell asleep, he realized it was Casey's lips on his neck. "Hmm, that feels nice."

Casey continued the light pecks along his jaw before nipping his neck. Chase yelped and flinched but didn't push Casey away. Then, Casey swiped a tongue on the same spot and Chase moaned. Chase said, "I could stay here like this all day."

When Casey stilled, Chase twisted to look at his face. Casey looked worried, so Chase moved off of him and sat up beside him. "What's wrong?"

Casey struggled for the words but then said, "What happens tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?" Chase asked.

"Yeah, tomorrow...when we go to school. What happens to us?"

Chase looked down at the bed and sighed. What would happen tomorrow? What would happen to his friends, his teammates, his family? He looked at Casey who was looking down too. "What do you want to happen?"

"I'm afraid to say it." Casey admitted. "Because, what if it doesn't come true?"

Chase said, "Okay, I'll go first. I want us to keep dating. I want to see where this goes. Now, your turn."

"I-I want that too, but..." He looks away.

Chase reached out and lifted Casey's chin until their eyes meet. "But what?"

"But I don't want you to get hurt because of me." Casey said, through welling tears.

Chase started with, "don't worry about me. I can take care of myself."

"But what if your family rejects you? What if your friends stop being your friends?" Casey's tears began to flow down his cheeks.

Chase smiled warmly. "My family won't be a problem." When Casey rolled his eyes, Chase amended, "Or rather, they won't be a big problem. I have an uncle on my mom's side that's gay and a cousin on my dad's side that's non-binary. They may not like having it in their own house at first, but they won't kick me out."

"But school will be a different story," Casey pointed out.

"Yes and no," Chase said. "I know you're still new to the school so, you may not know that they have a strict policy about bullying based on race, religion, ethnicity, I think I said that right, and gender or sexual orientation. If anyone tries to start trouble, the school will come down hard on them. That includes the athletes too."

"But what about your friends? I mean, I don't want you to lose them because of me."

Chase pinched his lips in a grimace but then said, "If they're any kind of good friends, they'll roll with it. I already know my two best friends will be cool with it because I kind of already texted them and told them."

Casey's eyes got big in amazement. "You-you did? Already?"

Chase moved over Casey and laid down, covering Casey's body, letting the weight act like an weighted blanket to soothe his anxiety. "Yep. It was last night after you fell asleep. I woke up later and made my decision to see this out."

"So, you and me, we can go on an actual date?" Casey asked, still unsure that this is real.

"Uh-huh. I'd like that," Chase said before kissing Casey. "Of course, first I want to tell my parents. I don't want them trying to set me up on any more dates. Then, I need to ask your mom for permission. I like her and I want to stay on her good side."

That made Casey chuckle which is what Chase was going for. Some of the doubt and tension left his face, pushed away by his smile. That smile that warmed Chase inside and made him smile in return.

Casey tilted his head slightly and said, "I never thought going to the park to read could change my life and brighten my world. Thank you for teaching me that the world can be a warm and loving place, too."

"You're welcome." Then, Chase got a mischievous look on his face. "Tomorrow will be here sooner than I'd like, and I have a lot to do before then, so maybe we can take some time for you to give me a few more lessons here before we have to get out of this bed. What do you say to that?"

Casey quirked the corner of his mouth, then with a gleam in his eyes, ran a finger up Chase's crease, putting pressure over his hole, "get ready for your next lesson, Padawan."