The widower

Chapter 26

Jades POV:
I sat down on the sofa and Perrie came downstairs "so you still want me to go" she sighed and shook her head. "You know I didn't mean it like that jade I just got mad" I nodded "pez I'm sick of fighting with you about stupid shit" she sighed and sat next to me. "I'm sorry it's just been a lot jade I can't help if my husband dies" I huffed "HE'S NOT YOUR HUSBAND HE'S DEAD" I shouted and pushed past her purposely I literally forgot she was pregnant for a split second until she held her arm around her stomach. "Jade stop please" she fell to the floor and I rushed over. I saw one thing that I wished I didn't ever there was blood down the leg of her jeans a lot of it. "It's ok come on" I hooked my arms under her knees and back and carried her to the car. My mind was racing this can't be happening to us. I drove to the hospital as quickly as possible going through various red lights on the way. I came to a halt at the entrance to a&e and took Perrie out the back rushing as fast as I could into the entrance. I told them the problem and they took her into a room and told me to wait outside. All I wanted to know was what was happening with her I hope she was ok. I started to pace and sat down. "Miss thirlwall" I heard a nurse say as she came out the door to perries room "you may want to sit down" I sat down on the chair "I'm sorry but Perrie miscarried she's asleep you can go in and see her" I cried my eyes out for the next 20 minutes then tried as best as I could to pull myself together. I walked into my fiancé's room and sat in the chair next to her bed. She looked pale and even though she was asleep she looked exhausted. I heard her hand which was slightly cooler than usual and brought it to my mouth and gave it a kiss and placed it back on the bed. I can't believe it. I don't want to believe it. Our first child didn't even get to see the world. Perries beautiful eyes fluttered open. They looked different they looked sad. She put her hand on her stomach and burst out crying. She knew already without me even telling her. I embraced her in a hug trying to be as gentle as possible and cried on her shoulder as she cried on mine. It's sad how one death tore us apart and another brought us back together. That strong bond will never go between me and Perrie. We were made for eachother she's my whole world.

Later on in the evening me and Perrie went home. We read some flyers and we both promised we'd go see someone we have a councillor booked next week. Don't get me wrong perries heartbroken well both of us are but she's actually holding up better than I expected. "Are you ok" I said and reached over rubbing her knuckles "yeah fine just sleepy and sad" I nodded "me too" I kissed her hand and drove up the driveway before I parked up and ran around the other side opening the passenger door and lifting her out. "I can walk babe" I picked her up and heals her thighs to support her. "You need to rest" I said taking one arm away and unlocking the door. I walked into are living room and laid her down on the sofa "I'll get you a blanket and a hot water bottle and some tea" she shook her head "I just want you" I nodded and took off my shoes and got cuddled her tight like she was going too slip away.

I woke up the next morning by some noise in the kitchen. I lifted my head off perries chest and walked in to see what was going on. It was Leigh Anne making breakfast for the kids with Jesy "your up we didn't want to wake you" I must've text them to watch the kids yesterday. It was all such a blur I didn't remember I didn't really want to remember. "Thanks" I said simply and sat at the breakfast table "is everything ok" Jesy Said and I crumbled. I cried so hard even harder than yesterday "no" I sniffed and rubbed my eyes with my thumb and index and middle finger. "We lost it" they must've known what I meant because they both hugged me. They said nothing just hugged me. I don't think they knew what to say I wouldn't know. I mean I don't even know how I feel at the moment apart from empty. There's love there. The love I give to the people around me but also the love I receive off them. Then there's sadness and a mixture of other emotions. But mostly it was just emptiness like a part of me. Well not even me, us the whole family was missing and I couldn't bring it back. I couldn't fix us.