Chapter 19: Ready

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Janelle’s POV

Daddy roughly grabbed my arm and stood me up off the floor. I looked at my iPod, where I had just been talking to Chresanto, and looked back at him. The expression in his eyes was strange. At first, he looked angry, but then worried, then sad, and now…I can’t tell. It looked like he was changing his mind about something.

He let go of me and shook his head. “I’m sorry.” He said under his breath. I stared at him, scared to move. He looked tired and stressed. But after what he did to Chyna downstairs…it doesn’t matter how stressed you are, you don’t beat a woman.

“Where’s Bianca?” I asked him softly, still scared to move. He didn’t answer me. He sat down on my bed with his head in his hands and probably tears in his eyes. I stood up a little straighter and repeated my question.

“I don’t know, Janelle. Why the hell would I be beatin’ on Chyna if I knew where Bianca was? It’s Chyna’s damn fault that she ran away. If she would’ve told somebody earlier that she went and slept with a pimp to make a child, this would never had happened. But now Bianca’s gone.” He snapped at me.

I bent down slowly to pick up my iPod, slid it in my pocket, and went on my bed. Hopefully he’d leave soon.

“I’m sorry for trying to hit you.”

“It’s okay.” I said. It certainly was not okay though. I had already made up my mind about what I wanted to do. I was done with this family and its drama. I needed peace. 

“Who were you talking to though?” Daddy asked.

“I told you, no one. And can I go outside please? I want to visit Junior.” I said. It was true; before I made any major decisions, I wanted to see my brother. I wanted to know that he was okay, alive, and well.

“No. No, no, no. Bianca’s gone, Junior’s in rehab, I hurt Chyna, your mother’s scared of me…I can’t lose you. You gon’ stay right here, up in this room, while I’m downstairs talking to Chyna. Do not leave. And don’t talk to anyone.” Daddy got up, looked at me long and hard, and then walked out of my room.

What was happening today? I was not used to Daddy acting like this.

But I guess since he knows that Bianca isn’t his daughter, he cares about her even more now, and now that she’s gone…he blames the one who caused her to be mad.

I still don’t know how I feel about this whole situation. I can’t think about that. All I consider is setting myself free from…from everything.

I looked at the time. A little after one in the afternoon. The day was going by fast. I got up off the bed and took my phone to call Mama.

“Janelle, I was just about to call you.” She said.

“Are you going to pick me up?” I asked, hoping for a ‘yes’.

“I don’t know, it depends…”

“On what?”

“Well, what’s going on over there? Have things calmed down with…your father?” Mama asked, pausing when she mentioned my father.

“I don’t know. A little bit, I guess. It’s quiet down there now. But please pick me up Mama, before things get worse.” I begged her. But I knew my father. When he calms down, he stays calm. He won’t hit Chyna again. He’s probably downstairs crying his eyes out, apologizing to her for messing up.

Anger issues.

“I’ll head over there now. Junior, I’ll be back. I’m picking up your sister to bring her here.” She said to Junior. “Get dressed Janelle. I’m on my way.”

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