The Commander and The Girl

Chapter 54

Clarke POV

I feel a chill running down my back, and hear arguing coming from the hallway. I try to fall back to sleep, pulling up the thin blanket to my chin, but as I become more aware of my surroundings the blinding lights are unbearable.

I slowly rise in my seat as I feel my legs throb. I try to stand up, but in return push over the side table full of medicines next to me. The arguing hushes as Murphy pushes open the doors.

"So the princess is awake." He grandly gestures his arm as he pushes the door wide enough for Emori to walk in.

"How are you feeling?" She asks sincerely, though a smirk snags on her lips.

"Awful." I sit up straight and reach out a hand.
"Any help?"

Murphy begrudgingly takes my arm and pulls me up, steadying me before I fall. I take a moment to actually get feeling into my legs before I'm ready to work.

"Where are they?" I ask picking up the side table.

Murphy gives Emori a look before opening back up the doors. I gingerly walk through readying myself for the worst. I don't need much help as the whimpering cries are direction enough.

The first person I see is Lexa as she oddly stands guard at the doors. I know she isn't much for emotion, so almost a hundred distressed people must be awful for her.

I stumble towards her wrapping my arms around her neck.
She turns around and grabs my waist looking for any imperfections.
"You're alright?" She asks as reassurance.

"I'm alright." I assure her. I stare into her eyes before stepping back.

"How bad is it in there?" I ask looking at the sealed doors.

"Bad." Indra states blatantly. She pushes open the door and waits for me to enter.
I take a last breathe and walk through.
The cafeteria's doors have been sealed except for the pair I entered from. There's blankets set up on the ground that hold those once affected by ALIE. People lay on the ground, some stiff and emotionless while others wail thrash around.

I run to Octavia who's consoling a little boy crying.
He keeps muttering "She's gone." And "he killed her." Octavia gives him some water before standing before me.

"What do we do?" I ask feeling claustrophobic. I don't know how to handle something like this.

Octavia brushes her fingers through her hair stressed.
"I don't know Clarke! This is your thing not mine." She walks over to a table and grabs another bottle of water.
"They're...they're all hysterical. I can't even imagine what just happened to them all and now I'm stuck with Lincoln and Raven trying to console them."

I can see her issue with them being the only ones to help.
"What about Monty and Harper. The others who refused the pill." I ask feeling my mind shift into leadership.

"They're in the courtyard right now. Should we bring them in?"  She asks understanding my plan.

I think she says something else but I don't notice as I see a silhouette of someone who I used to trust.

My mother sits emotionless, in a phase of her own reality.

"Clarke?" Octavia grabs my shoulders, her eyes smoldering into mine.

"You go with Lincoln to get them. Make sure they offer up though. I don't want anyone to be forced into this." I state my eyes trailing the walls.
She nods and walks towards Lincoln as I'm glued to my spot.

Raven eyes me, but is too busy to bother me. I scrunch up my forehead and walk to my mother.

She doesn't look up when I sit next to her. Her bones are more predominant as her skin has become paper thin. Her colors lost and she reminds me of those on the Ark who give up. Those who force their children to work and buy booze to fill up their days. They always have the same look, the empty look presiding in my mother.

"Why'd you do it." No response.
"Why did you lie to me about Lexa. Why did you try and kidnap me when I told you I was fine. Why did you take these stupid pills when I thought you'd be the first to refuse?" My voice is slow and meticulous.
I don't meet her eyes and she fiddle with her fingers.

"I couldn't lose you." My heart stops at the sound of her voice. It's clear, yet sounds as though she hasn't spoken for months.
"I lost your father in space, and now that we're on ground I can't lose you too."

My blood boils as she finishes the sentence.
"You killed him. You killed my father so unless you're scared of killing me too, I don't understand." I try to keep level, but I can feel my heart race.

"You wouldn't understand." She hisses.
"I've tried to keep you safe Clarke. All this time I have. The Commander whom you believe you love doesn't care about you. You're merely a chess piece she can use to win. You're just a pawn Clarke. The only reason why she's by your side is so she can have our people."
Her eyes lock mine. "You're people. You took a bullet for her Clarke, you nearly died, and yet you still believe she cares." Her voice isn't belittling. She speaks softly as though she's trying to teach me something. I feel my face chill at the tears streaming down my face. I've grown enough to where I don't believe her, but a part of me aches that I'm what's driven her mad.

"That's not true. You know it's not true." I urge her to understand.

She turns grasping my hands. Her hands are steady as she keeps ahold of them.

"I will keep you safe Clarke. Here with your people. We can win the war, we can have what's ours." Her eyes are wide and hopeful. I drop her hands my eyes squinting.

"We're not at war." I state.

"But we are Clarke. That's why the grounders have come." She seethes pointing a finger to the doors.

"I don't understand." I stand up watching her fall into hysteria.

She pulls up the blanket on the ground to her waist and leans against the wall.

"Sorry Clarke." She whispers her eyes trained on the doors.

I walk backwards before stumbling into someone.

"Woah, everything alright?"
I turn and see Raven with a sheen of sweat on her brow.

"She's gone mad." I wipe my eyes taking shallow breathes.

"Abby? I know I think some grounders may be able to help, or some of our medicines, but I don't even know where to start." Raven babbles trying to think of a cure, but I know it's not that simple.
Physical issues are easy, healed with medicine or a skilled hand. Mental issues however were always overseen on the Ark. Those who's mental problems got the best of them usually got sent to prison and in return we're floated. I wouldn't know where to start in healing my mother.

There's a soft commotion outside the door that gathers my attention and I see Monty poke his head inside.

"We heard you all needed help." He walks through with a large group behind him. I immediately feel the weight being taken off my shoulders and pull him into a hug.

"Thank you so much." I say into his shoulder.

He laughs awkwardly and I let go leaving him a smile.

I walk through the doors and see Octavia and Lincoln standing outside.

"Quitting so soon?" Octavia jokes.

"Not quitting, leaving. I just need some space. Where's Kane?" I take Octavia's water and chug it before throwing it into a bin.

"I can take you to him." Lexa offers walking up to me.

"Let's go." I say tilting my head slightly. I look back at the cafeteria and shut my eyes. I don't think anyone will be back to normal after this. Especially not my mother.