The Commander and The Girl

Chapter 2

LEXA POV
I hold Clarke against my heart tucked away from the dangers of others. I could never have saved her though, could I?
All this was my fault.
I fell for her knowing how others would react, how hated her clan was, and how my last love ended.
I fell for her and put her at risk every day she stepped foot near me, I let my emotions control my actions and now she was dead. Love is weakness. I vow to never forget that.

The doors fly open as Clarke's mother runs in with the Skikru boy I sent on her heels. She beelines for Clarke cupping her head in her hand and placing two fingers by her throat. She looks frightened at what's become of her daughter, what I let happen to her daughter, she looks weak. I never let my eyes off of Clarke.
I look weak.
I stand up and back away from Clarke wiping my eyes. Her mother has taken out her tools and has begun to work on Clarke I flinch at every puncture her mother creates. Every once in a while she'll look up to me, knowing this was all my fault. I advert my eyes and focus my attention on Titus.

"You." I say coldly. "You did that,"
I take his arm and swing  it around his back forcing him to look at Clarke, "you caused that and her blood will forever be on your hands." My voice was so cold even I didn't recognize it.
I grab my blade from the wall and push it behind his head as he stares at her bleeding.
"I could end your life right now far more painful than you could imagine," I whisper, "but for the sake of the Nightbloods you will be spared." I feel his whole body relax as I say this, what a pity how valuable he is.
"You will live our your days in a cell and only stand to see the sun when the council is present. Until then say goodbye to this place because I can promise you will never be welcomed back." I hiss in his ear as I release him.
I nod to one of my warriors and they drag Titus out of the room to never be seen by me again.

I look at Clarke's mother and see her hands stained a sickly red as she tirelessly works to have Clarke awaken. I walk down and place my hand along Clarke's cheek.
"Yu gonplei ste odon." I say aloud, "No one will ever hold the power you commanded besides yourself." I whisper so only Clarke can hear and gaze at her as tears drop, falling one by one.
I stand as Kane rushes in calling out for a woman.

"Abby, what happened?"
He kneels next to Abby and Clarke and checks her pulse.
"Abby I-I'm sorry she's gone." He enveloped her a hug as she sobbed into his arm.

"No, no I refuse to believe that." Abby says in between sobs and goesback to her tools.
I lean down next to Clarke and kiss her cheek before walking back to my bedchambers.

I sit in my couch clutching the drawing of me she made refusing to break. Her hands were able to create such beauty, greater than anyone could hope to make. Everything in this room reminds me of her. I walk over to the unmade bed and pick up one of the furs. I take my dagger and I slash it in half throwing it in the fireplace. I do the same to one after another. Every fur, bedsheet, pillow, clothing. I burn it all and watch as it all turns to ash.

I gaze into the fire as the embers spark when my doors are flung open.

"How could you just let her die!" Octavia screams. "This is all on you! If she had never met you we would all be fine and no one would be dead!" She was boiling with rage but so was I.
I am done being the emotionless commander.

"How dare you accuse me of this! Do you really think if I could've saved her I wouldn't have!"
My voice echoes in authority.
I stop in realization as I catch my breathe.
Octavia looked at me frightened at my state.
"Get out" I say harshly watching Octavia rush out the doors .
I walk over to my bathroom mirror and look at my tear soaked face. I take a deep breath and wipe away my tears.
I return to my room and find the drawing again. I hold it against the light of the fire.

"Love is a weakness I will no longer allow anyone to see."
With that I tucked it away into my jacket, where no one can hurt her anymore than I already had.