The Commander and The Girl

Chapter 37

LEXA POV

I watch Clarke's rhythmic breathing slow to a steady pace as she falls asleep next to me. I trace empty trails on her back and try to memorize her face. Her beauty goes beyond her exterior, that's what I had been so drawn to. That's why I'll keep fighting for her no matter.
"I would've waited an eternity for you." I whisper letting my eyes fall in exhaustion.
"I would've waited." I breathe letting the emptiness of space take me in.
Almost immediately I'm moved into a throne room, unlike my own, filled with the past commanders. All but Sheidheda, I had fought him off as early as the day after my conclave.
They all stare at me with an unwelcome glare.

"Spit it out." I order settling into my throne.

"That girl is no good for you." Daryn the fifth Commander scolds.

"She will lead you to your death, as predicted." Gwen warns. She was the third Commander, known for her witch craft. That was part of the reason why her Fleimkepa killed her.

"I will hear no more of this!" I shout and watch as each one of them dissolves into thin air, all but the first Commander. She's different from the others. I now realize she looks like those from the sky. She fiddles with her glasses as she goes through numerous equations in her mind.

"Becca?" I plead trying to gain some advice.

"It is true. It is unwise for you to allow yourself a vulnerability." My blood boils at the term used for Clarke.
"But, you can't do this on your own. Lexa your people love you because you are compassionate towards them and lethal to enemies. Prove that they are your ally, that they are apart of them. Only then may your worries subside."
I can tell she already knows my worries. She's been with me since I had just matured.

"Lexa, Clarke will never be safe. She knows that and she stills wants you. Remember that." Becca begins to stand up and walk away into the same mist the other commanders left along. I feel a small pang in my head and a vase off the shelf falls to smithereens.

"Love is weakness." He hisses. My body jolts as I stare at Clarke before me. She's being cut into as she's tied to a tree. All my warriors watch holding a blade as they wait their turn.
Jus drein jus daun.
Is chanted among them. I try to move but instead see Gaia holding a blade against my neck.
"Your fate has been set since the day you met her. Your life must be taken by the hands of your flame keeper." She hisses pressing the blood to my throat. I feel a sharp pain at my neck and cry an empty scream as I awake.
Clarke shifts under me turning her back to me and I notice my hand scratching at my neck. I breathe heavily as I etch my hand away trying to calm myself. I focus on the nape of her neck as I relay what happened in my thoughts.
"Go back to bed." Clarke mumbles grumpily. I let out a humorous breathe of air and sink back into the mattress. I focus all my control on the pattern of the walls trying to sleep without interruptions. I finally find myself becoming drowsy and give into it, hoping the past commanders will allow me sleep.
I'm in a drift of darkness looking out at nothing. I stay here in my own space letting it envelope me as an image appears in the distance. I walk towards it and see TonDc burning to the ground, the only survivor is me, and I watch as Clarke burns with it.
"She is your weakness"
Echos through my skull.
I stir awake in a cold sweat and see the bed is empty. I whip my head up  and see Clarke dressing in the corner. I blush as she turns around to see me.
"Oh shoot." She stutters before turning back around. I laugh uneasily as I pick up my clothes from the side of the bed. I gingerly change as we both give ourselves our respected room. Clarke walks up awkwardly and smiles.
"Hey."
My smile rises.
"Hey."
We stand there not knowing what to do until Clarke leans and kisses me on the cheek.

"I should get going." She calls as she speed walks out the room.
I laugh and look around the room, Clarke's room. Oh what the predicament we've gotten into.

I grab my armor and swing my shoulder plate on, snapping the two sides into place. I look in the mirror and quickly pull my hair into two simple braids crossed into one.
"I'm surely going to get reprimanded by Indra, if not Gaia." I murmur.
Once satisfied by my bed hair I open the door slowly hoping no one sees. I start to walk and am almost safe when Octavia rounds the corner. I harden my face and try to look as menacing as possible.

"Octavia." I greet with a slight not.
She bows her head and looks past me.

"Commander, it seems you had a long night correct?"
She knows. I scowl at her and she quickly scatters. I take a deep breathe. If she knows surely more do as well.

I sigh as I make my way to the throne room in hopes of seeing Gaia, surely enough there she stands with Indra at her side.
Indra immediately comes up giving a bow before imploding.
"Heda where have you been! We had ambassadors crazed, you weren't in your room and now there are reports you were in Clarke's?"
Damn, so I guess it wasn't so early in the morning after all.

"We can speak of this later Indra." I order turning to Gaia.

"May we speak alone?" I ask. She nods and motions for everyone to leave the room, including Indra. I walk to my throne and sit down, stiffly.

"What is it Heda? If it's about Clarke I'm not sure I can be of use."

"Sheidheda." I blurt twiddling with a buckle on my pants.
Her face turns pale.

"I thought you had fought him off soon before me." She insists.

"It seems my..., weakness has allowed him to take control. He's much stronger than the past Commanders so when I turn my back to him he emerges." I click my tongue trying not to show how truly fearful I am of him. There are tales of past commanders being overtaken by Sheidheda. Only one survived. The rest were killed in an attempt to kill him.

"I'm sorry Heda. I don't know what to do for you." Gaia solemnly looks down. No but I know someone who does.
I stand from my throne excusing her as I walk through the hallway. My mind bubbles with thoughts as I hear a voice slice through it all.

"Lexa, hey I wanted to talk to you." Clarke walks beside me a stout smile on her face. I let my mask drop, if just for a little while.
"Clarke, I'm sorry I can't." I say a bit too sternly. Her face turns cold as she backs up.

"Oh of course. I'm sorry Commander." She turns her heel knowing the effect those words have on me.
My heart stings as though she had stabbed me. I'm about to call out to apologize before I realize I have to create a rift. If Sheidheda can truly use her to get to me I can't let her fall in the process. I bite my tongue and turn the corner taking in the prospect of a distant Commander.
I walk down the stairs and see two warriors guarding his door. They move to the side as I open the door slowly.
Titus sits there reading his booklet and scribbling words in the margins.
"Heda." He greets.
"I assume something's gone wrong." He points out.

"How did you cut away Sheidheda from your second Commander?" I ask straight to the point. He drops the book and looks to me.

"He's beginning to take over." He states.
"It's because of her! Your weakness." He shouts.
"You let a crack open for her, but that crack can be a gateway for him!"

"How do I get rid of him!" I shout.

"You get rid of her." He hisses. I grab a dagger from my thigh and fling it across the room, hitting right above his head.

"How do you get rid of him?" I say slowly.

"It's not an easy feat. Especially when you insist on keeping her. I will have to do it somewhere else. In our holy room." He states. I see him flip through his book.

"Is it in there?" I ask.
He nods looking for the page.

"Then I suppose I have my answer after all." I gesture to a warrior and she plucks the book out of his hands. I take it and slip a piece of fabric on the page he flipped to.

"Thank you Titus. I'll be sure to make your death painless." I say truthfully.

"Goodbye Heda." He whispers.

I leave the room and look at the book, trying to make sense of it. It's all jumbled up but one thing is shown clearly. The weakness must die.