The Commander and The Girl

Chapter 40

CLARKE POV
It's just dawn as I pack up the little of my belongings. I can't keep on waiting for something to happen between us. My mind keeps on jumping to back when I left her room. She almost said it. I could've let her say it, but I won't do that to myself anymore. It means nothing.
I angrily wipe at my eyes with a fur off of my bed and throw it behind me.

"Hey watch it!"
I turn to see Octavia looking at me with a crooked grin.
"So it's true, you are leaving."

"Yup. Officially I'm leaving to discuss with Skaikru, personally I just need to leave.. all of this." I say exaggeratedly flailing my hands.
I shove another pair of pants into my bag turning away from Octavia.

"No I understand, kind of." She walks up behind me placing a soft hand on my shoulder.
"Why don't you stop moping so we can celebrate. It may be called small, but the grounders sure know how to have fun." Octavia jokes.
I smile facing her as I tie my bag.
"Deal." I shake her hand as she leads me out of my room.

As Octavia leads me out to the main plaza I gasp at the appearance. It's the same area where Roan and Lexa battled yet it's so different. There's stands set up giving out food for free, and children running through holding scarves of color, flailing them in the air. There's warriors looking so care free as daggers and swords hang from their hips, and families I'd never seen close to each other, together.
Indra stands at the stage beside Gaia as a past Fleimkepa drags the blood of a pig against her temple. As I look up to Indra, she stares at Gaia with such a motherly love I feel jealous my mother has never acted this way towards me.
I only realize I've been rooted to one spot as Octavia drags me across the floor. She brings me to a small stand where a young boy hands me a sugared apple.
"It's nice to see you smile." Lincoln chuckles as he looks down at Octavia.
Octavia leans on her toes and meets his lips with hers.
"I could say the same thing." She smiles.
I take a bite out of the thin sugar coating and look at the little boy in front of me.
I scrunch my nose and fake a gag towards Octavia and Lincoln. He giggles and smiles catching the attention of Lincoln.
"What's happening over here?" Lincoln asks squinting at the boy. He drops his cloth and makes a run for it and Lincoln chases him from behind.
"You can't run forever Gavin!"
Octavia laughs as she grabs an apple from the tray.

"Now that's." She points to the boy.
"Lincoln's little brother, Gavin."

"I didn't know Lincoln had a brother." I say watching as Lincoln picks Gavin up from his legs.
"So he's good with kids?" I ask wiggling my eyebrows.

Octavia punches me in the ribs scoffing.
"You know what, Ambassador, I really think it's time you go do your job."
I scrunch my nose in disgust as she gestures to the main stage.
"Being Ambassador really does suck." I huff. Out of the corner of my eye I watch as Lexa makes her way to the main plaza, greeting all warriors and common people she meets.
"You know what, maybe I, as Ambassador, really should get going." I urge keeping my voice monotone.

"Oh, of course." Octavia says keeping her eyes low.
This time I punch her as I grab another sugared apple, practically running up to the stage.

I settle into my seat keeping my focus on the apple in my hand instead of Lexa walking along the ground. I take another bite into the apple and watch as Indra stalks to my side.
"I overheard that you are leaving after the Ceremony."
She speaks lookin down amongst her people.

"It seems everyone has." I remark taking another bite into my apple.

"You mustn't act like a child at this time. Your people must always lie above your emotions." She scolds.
I stop chewing and swallow.
"That's why I'm leaving to my people, Indra." If I weren't in such a good mood I might even roll my eyes.