Tanner's Torment (Kingston Series #2) ✔️

Chapter 5

"How old are they? When were they born? Why are they here?" I ask like word vomit. I haven't even met them yet and I know that I would do anything for them. I haven't been in their lives, I didn't watch them when they were born, I never got to change their diapers, I didn't see their first steps, I've never contributed anything to them, that pisses me the fuck off.

I look down at her as she says "I had them on June 18th at this hospital. I had Turner first he was born at 6:15 in the morning, he was nine pounds and eight ounces. He hurt the worst. Tatum was born exactly five minutes later at 6:20 she was eight pounds and four ounces. She came out black and blue and I thought she was dead. They took her to the care unit though and she came back a few hours later and she was fine. I was in labor for 36 hours. They are fraternal twins, that's why Turner looks like you and Tatum looks like me. That was over 3 years ago, they are three now. I was asleep tonight when Turner woke me up. He said he felt bad, when I went to check on Tatum she wouldn't wake up. I rushed here. They apparently have the flu or something and their immune systems are terrible. I don't know why, they eat fine and take vitamin chews".

"Their full names are Tatum Grace Kingston and Turner Beau Kingston. I gave them your last name because in the future I know that they would have more opportunities with it. I knew that I wanted them to be connected to you in someway so I gave them your parents names and Turner has your middle name, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner but I tried serval times" she rasps out catching her breath.

This is why she left. This is why she didn't want me to be around her. This is why she was gone after everything.

She gave them my name, my parents names. I can't function. She cared enough to name them after me but not tell me? I can't even begin to imagine how much she struggles to take care of them on her own. I have to be here, I can't leave them. I love them, they are my family.

"I want to be apart of their lives, you did tell them about me right?" I ask her while looking at Tatum. She looks so small and fragile, she's my daughter, my small fragile daughter.

"They know that they have a father named Tanner who plays football, when they ask were you are I tell them that you had to go away" so they know of me, that's better than nothing.

"I want to be apart of their lives, I have to be" I tell her.

She looks at me sternly and says, "No, I can't let that happen. You and me both know that in a year or so you will be transferred to another football team. I can't let them meet you, and call you daddy just so you can go away. I didn't tell you for your career, I want you to play football and kids don't mix with that" she tells me.

That's bullshit, she knows that I would give everything for her. I really don't care about football at this point, I want my kids.

"I don't care what you want. Those are my kids, Turner looks just like me as a boy and I can see myself in Tatum's looks as well. I signed a contract for six years. I'm not leaving. I will not leave. You keeping them a secret is bad enough but, for my career? Do you really think that I would pick football over you or my kids?" I ask her, we might not be together right now but she knows that I'm being honest.

"I don't want you to regret not following your dream, I had sex with you and I had to deal with the consequences" she tells me. She knows that's not true. WE had sex, every fucking day. I'm honestly surprised that she got pregnant, but the way we had sex it was bound to happen at some point, I guess rather faster than expected.

"I have played in the NFL for three years now, my career is fine, I could pick whatever team I wanted to walk onto. I will regret not raising my family though, that's my dream, I have always wanted that with you. WE had sex, I came in you, we have children, not you. I am the father and I will be in their lives" I tell her. I look away as I see Turner stir in his bed, he looks around trying to find Ellie. Once he sees her, he seams to calm down.

"I don't know..." she rasps out. Really?

"I do" I tell her walking to the room to meet my son. I walk past the glass door and into the room to see him sitting on the bed.

He's sitting up in the large bed in nothing but Ellie's shirt old pink shirt, she must have rushed to put something on him. He opens his mouth to talk and I can't move. He's my son and when I hear his voice it's undeniable.

I'm looking at myself reincarnated, he's me.

After zoning out I hear him say "Noe! I'm big!" and shows Ellie his muscle, she smiles at him before laughing. I miss her laugh. I chuckle to myself before Turner looks up at me.

His eyes are my eyes, he looks up at me and I see myself in him again. He smiles at me through his small developing teeth and says "Mommy, who's the big men?"

I stand their silently. She needs to tell him about me, I will be in their lives.

She grips him in her arms, "Baby you know how I told you your father was away?" She better spit it out.

He nods and starts playing with her fingers. She grips his tiny hands and asks "You remember how I told you his name was Tanner right?" she asks him while studying his face.

"Yaw, I do" he tells her. I'm surprised he can speak this well, even in broken sentences and words.

"Well baby he's back now, this is Tanner baby, he's your father" she finally tells him. I feel the instant relief when he knows. I walk over to him and sit right beside him.

"You my daddy?" he asks me. He just called me daddy, I thought I would never feel my heart swell again.

"Yeah, I'm your daddy. I like your muscles, your a strong guy" I tell him while touching his arm. He gets up and walks over to me in Ellie's shirt that covers his feet.

He yells "You do? I see them do this!" he says while making a muscle. He must watch guys on TV or something, "That's impressive buddy, I like that" I tell him. I look up to see Ellie very weary of the situation in front of her. I can see she is nervous with him talking to me.

"Do you like football?" I ask him. He must know something about it, he's making muscles already. "I wove football! I wanna be a big boy, I'm gonna win!" he tells me. I smile knowing that he will love it in a few years when I start teaching him the basics.

I sit down closer beside him and say "I play football for a big team, I'm sorry I haven't been able to see you. I've been playing a lot and that's wrong. I'm gonna see you a lot more now" I tell him.

I see him smile at me and my heart explodes again, I have always wanted this. I have always wanted a son with Ellie.

"Really, Momma!" he says looking over at El. She looks up at me contemplating her answers, she has to know I wouldn't hurt him or Tatum. Tatum, it feels weird to say I have a daughter, I have twins, I love their names; I couldn't have picked it better and I'm happy to have children in my name. Especially now that I know Ellie is connected to me.

She nods at him while looking me directly into the face. Turner turns to me and says "We going to have fun!" he says and jumps into my body.

He crashes into me, and I quickly wrap my arms around his small body. I smile and stroke his head in my hand, I can't describe the feeling. His small arms wrap around my neck and although he has a fever I can't help but hug him tighter. I'm a father, a sick and sad fuck like me created something so pure, that's crazy.

He's my boy, he's my little man. "Yeah buddy we are, and I'm never leaving" I tell him as a tear falls from Ellie's eye. I know that this is hard for her but, it's true I'm never leaving them.