Saving Mona

Chapter 27 🌃 (Part 2)

Dwayne walked towards the cliff and sat down, quietly inviting me to join him. I did and together, we watched the bustling town of Bloomville.

"I found this spot a week after I moved into Bloomville. It's so beautiful with memories of its own. I found it amazing how I could sit here and watch the world around me move in motion while I remained in a standstill. I watched people move to-and-fro, a piece of their lives reflecting like the glowing streetlights. I heard laughter, cries, scream, and tears all from this same spot. And all I could think of was sharing it with you, even then. I didn't expect it would be under circumstances like this though." He confessed somberly.

"Dwayne," I started but he just smiled. I then understood what Mel meant by a sad smile that didn't quite fit the cheater profile I had painted on him. His smile was halfway done and not reaching his eyes, just a slight tilt of lips and show of teeth. Could I have been wrong about him? Oh! How badly I wanted that to be true.

"I understand that you must have been heartbroken when you saw Dosi kissing me. I understand that it hurt you more than you probably expected. But what I don't understand is that why you refused to hear me out, made assumptions quickly, and then proceeded to suggest we break up.

You hurt me by that, deeply. To know my own girlfriend doesn't trust me enough to hear my story created a big wound in my heart. Do you really not trust me? It was like you were waiting for that event all along, the one event that would prove something to you and once you had gotten it, you closed up. And it killed me to have felt that way."

"Dwayne, I-I-"

"Just for clarification, I didn't kiss Dosi, well not intentionally. I had gone to get your drink like I had told you when Dosi cornered me in the hallway. I was trying to get away from her when we heard your voice and all of a sudden, she was all over me, kissing. Just as I was about to tear her off me, I spotted you, and then, the rest is history. It's up to you to determine whether to believe me or not but let me make it clear to you now, I will not give up on us so easily. If it is trust issues that serve as a problem, I will earn your trust. I'm not giving you up, Lisa, not now, not ever."

I opened my mouth to apologize but he wasn't done yet.

"Why are you not committed to me as I am to you? I have noticed you are not fully into this relationship as I am. When you kiss me, it's like half of you is distant, detached. It's just like the first time I met you, you were never fully there. There was always a part of yourself you hid away from others, even now. Every time I try to reach out to you, there's this barrier preventing me from coming closer."

"What do you want from me, Dwayne?" I croaked.

"I'm asking you to share that part with me. Let me take half of your fears and burden, I don't mind. You alone can't take it all, you will eventually break. Let me in Lisa, please." He pleaded, his eyes glistering with the emotions they held.

I sniffed and looked away. It was getting too much. The wind was growing chiller by the second and I suspected so was Dwayne's heart towards me. I heard him heave a heavy sigh and from the corner of my eyes, I watched him run a hand over his face.

Should I risk exposing myself to him? Could I take the chance of confessing my deepest and darkest secrets? Opening my heart and rendering myself vulnerable and under his mercy? Could I? I pondered. But one look at Dwayne beside me and I got my answer.

I couldn't afford to lose him because of my fear. I would rather be subject to the world's ridicule than let him slip away from my hands and heart. He who had shown me I had more to live for than I ever imagined. He who brought a smile to my face and revealed me feelings I never thought I possessed. No, I had to tell him. I had to take the risk and hope what we shared was enough to keep me from sinking.