The Turbulence✔️ (#1 in the Our Side of The Dice series)

18: Testing Times

The object which happened to be his video game control came crashing down to the floor, breaking into unfixable pieces. Letting out a shriek subconsciously, our eyes met and a cold fire burned in his eyes.

"I-I'm sorry, Zion. I just wanted to say hi to you before leaving for school... I will get you another one."

I explained but his jaw only worked hard against each other, a vengeful promise laying underneath. Seething with more anger, his eyes held mine for a long moment and with fidgeting hands and a racing mind, I ran out of the house, not knowing what else to say with only tears substituting for my speechlessness.

As I ran, I heard him say something about me not caring about him and his voice was so shaky that if it wasn't the Zion I knew, I would have concluded that he was crying.

My heart raced and burned madly, learning that Zion was still not impressed with me despite all of the efforts I had been making to get closer with him. There was nothing I could have done at that point since it was a mistake on my part but if he thinks that I only said I will buy him a new video game control just to make him feel better and leave to see my boyfriend who I truly care about, then I wouldn't know what to do with him because I left due to how my anxiety had decided to manifest itself.

The pressure was too painful for me to bear.

Maybe Zion is going through an emotional breakdown that perhaps goes beyond my 'insensitivity' to his feelings hence why he gets dangerously angry at every single thing because, at this point, I believe he should understand that I wouldn't mean to hurt him.

I hope this will pass away soon enough.

***

I was very enthusiastic to leave violin lessons early today – something that never happens but I couldn't get Gaius out of my mind all through lectures. So many thoughts raced through my mind and often, I felt scared, wondering what the truth might be or whatever it was that he was hiding from me.

Was I truly ready to know what it was? Or would it be better if I didn't bother to know and maybe just end this relationship if he would continue with the attitude? I knew the latter was far fetched and extreme based on my inability to imagine myself ever doing that since I loved Gaius too much but the idea of communicating with someone had never made me feel this much emotions all at once.

Once violin lessons were over, I didn't even wait for our music instructor to end the lessons officially with his usual short reminder talk of the instrumentalist's creed. Quickly, I boarded the first taxi I saw on the road as it drove me to the basketball court premises – our certified meeting point.

Walking slowly into the premises, my heart accelerated in its motions with each step I took. I looked around me and there was nothing strange – just the usual sight of lanky, sweaty men in jerseys making squeaky noises with their sport boots due to incessant running, dribbling to have the ball fall into the net as expected.

I didn't see Gaius around, especially in the court where his colleagues were so I just assumed that he was in the dressing room to get changed – either for the reason of starting or finishing his game so I sat on the bench close to the oak tree, as usual, tapping my feet against the ground and biting my lower lip at intervals, rehearsing how I was going to go about asking him the question.

Should I start by saying, "Gaius, If you don't tell me what has been on your mind, I will castrate you?" or "Gaius, If you don't open up to me and tell me why you've chosen to wallow in pain, I will kill myself?"

The latter question seemed much better and it sounded like a line I could use and it would have an effect on him because if I decided to threaten him to end our relationship, I might get the biggest shock of my life if he gives in to it because I had the feeling that he would rather have me leave him than open up to me but I knew Gaius won't want to lose me to death so... Suicidal threats it is.