SNL 2020

Pantry or Dick

LiPin: I will be part of a book project from one of the leading psychologist in the country, right now. I'm sort of interning for her. Maybe will so some writing and reseach.

Me: Will you get pay for your efforts?

LiPin: With merits, yes.

Me: I'm thinking more of money wise...

LiPin: Probably not.

Me: (not liking that) Isn't that exploitation? I mean, this person is getting students to do research and ghost write her book.

ZhiMing: Yeah...I don't like this either.

LiPin: Maybe. But I want to do this. I mean, she is an award winning author who gives lots of credits to her students who helped with completing her books. She actually put their names on her books. She is also good at giving a boost up to her younger colleagues.

Me: Is that enough compensation? To be mention on a book of an award winning author?

LiPin: Are you kidding me? Hell yeah! If my name gets there, I can also use that book as reference in my resumé. And to think this is just my second year back to studying, this is like a coùp for me.

ZhiMing: Oh, then good for you. But if you will need anything, any help at all, just ring me and I will help you.

LiPin: Thank you.

Me: Hey! Why haven't you given me that same offer of help? We are both sleeping with your childhood friends. Are you playing favorites now?

ZhiMing: I'm sorry. Was it LiPin who humiliated me in front of my ex at a party just because he was jealous?

Me: (scrunching my nose) You and Qing deliberately made me jealous that night. What am I supposed to do?

ZhiMing: Boxed Qing's ears and leave the poor ex alone. I also feel slighted that night when I met you. I didn't know you and I had this impression that you were a country bumpkin Qing plucked from nowhere.

Me: Half correct. I was a country bumpkin but Qing didn't pick me up. I bestowed my regal presence on him.

LiPin: Regal presence?

ZhiMing: Bestowed?

Me: Piss off. Let me live.

ZhiMing: (staring at me) Really, doesn't the thought of you and Qing not matching each other in background and temperament bothered you?

LiPin: Oh this I want to hear. I mean, the most I heard about your beginning with Qing, I heard from Xiao. I see it, the attraction but really, what made you decide to give a relationship with another guy a chance?

Me: (sighing) Well, to answer ZhiMing's question, it bothered me. Before. It bothered me so much that I hesitated to say yes to Qing for several months even though I really, really want him. Like I want him so much I was dreaming of him. But he came from a different background than me, he has lots of experience in relationship...

ZhiMing: (snorting) Sleeping around is not the same as relationships.

Me: (rolling my eyes) Fine! Qing landed on so many nests before, to say it delicately. And truly, our interests doesn't match except for video games and basketball. We were a bit different.

ZhiMing: You were a homebody, he was a party animal. You like nesting, he likes traveling. You like reading poetry, he likes collecting toys. You like watching documentaries, he likes betting on sports. You sucked at mahjong, he is great at gambling. You don't drink coffee, he is a caffeine addict. You have OCD, Qing could be a bit of a slob.