The Highest Learning

Chapter 34-Suzanne Proves Her Love

Patrick stops doing his Donkey Kong impression and temporarily buries his feelings, as many men are often taught to do. He figures he can perhaps catch the last quarter of the rec basketball game. He heads over to the gymnasium where he surmises a little physical exercise would do him some good.

Suzanne then leaves the classroom distraught, but is not hiding her emotions. She is still crying when she bumps into Professor Springer in the hallway.

Suzanne does not reveal that she is talking about Mr. Hardwick, but tells Diane how she has just had her heart broken by a man. All of Professor Springer's feelings of anger towards men, and more specifically one man, come bubbling up to the surface, as Suzanne is telling Diane her story. She finishes talking, and Diane comforts her a little before her own rage grows even further.

"Fucking Men! Fucking Patriarchy! Fucking Mark Pudzianowski!" she exclaims. Professor Springer remembers seeing Pudge in the gymnasium sometimes playing basketball in the rec league, and figures she may be able to find him there today.

Diane looks like she is on the warpath as she is breathing heavily and marching toward the gym. Like Mr. Hardwick, she is heading to the gym to take out her frustrations. Unlike Mr. Hardwick though, who is taking out his feelings in a constructive way by engaging in organized sports, she is going to take out her aggression on Pudge.

She continues her walk on the warpath. Suzanne is asking her what she is going to do, as she does not want to see anything else bad happen to either one of them. Diane keeps giving vague answers like, "I'm going to deal with him" and "You'll see." Suzanne is scared. She doesn't want her hero, whom she is not respecting so much right now, to do something rash and impulsive, but there's nothing she can do to stop her.

Suzanne is pleading with her to stop, but Diane continues onward. Suzanne keeps asking Diane what she is planning to do. Diane doesn't even know herself, until she gets to the door of the gymnasium and sees Pudge, engaged in a basketball game, along with Mr. Hardwick. It is at this moment she knows how she will exact her vengeance against him.

"I'm gonna kick that Motherfucker right in the Balls!" she finally decides.

It's crude, but it's something that when used, is extremely effective. Diane isn't that strong, but as any man knows, even getting lightly booted by a baby down there is enough to floor a guy. It's both physically painful, and embarrassing for a man to get hit in the testicles. She figures it's the perfect punishment for Pudge, taking away Pudge's balls, and by extension his manhood, because of the physical pain and embarrassment he had inflicted upon her earlier. This was going to be his day of reckoning. She's going to bust his balls, and not in a friendly way.

Men even flinch with sympathetic pain when hearing a story about someone else getting punted in the plums. That's how bad it is.

It's funny how you can substitute literally almost any round food name for testes and it still conveys the message...punched in the pineapples, grabbed by the grapes, popped in the peanuts etc. Even a food that doesn't have any resemblance to a sphere sometimes works, and Diane was about to kick Pudge right in the cream cheese.

Suzanne stops and thinks how she can stop this, but nothing immediately comes to mind. Diane blasts through the gymnasium doors and screams, "MARK PUDZIANOWSKI!!!"

He turns around to see his Professor, running toward him. He's a bit confused as he turns to face her direction. His legs are slightly straddled, leaving him wide open for the shot she is about to deliver.

She continues charging toward him ready to get revenge, not just on him, but on every man who ever lived. She's going to drive her foot through his sweet potatoes, knocking them into another dimension.

This isn't merely about her and Pudge. It is about her resentment towards the male sex that she's had for most of her life that she's going to express in what will surely be the Ballkick of the Century, one for the ages that will be discussed by scholars for years to come.

She continues running at Pudge, now in a full sprint. Her legs are moving as fast as they can, her chest heaving, her arms pumping. It's the first thing that could be construed as athletic exercise she's done in years and in a gymnasium no less. How apropos. This is not for the purpose of getting fit or relieving stress though. This is for cold, hard revenge.

She is finally within striking distance to kick her field goal and knock his nuts into his throat. She plants her left foot and extends her right leg back. For someone that never played sports, her kicking form looks like Cristiano Ronaldo, the greatest and also considered by many, sexiest soccer player of this era.

To understand what happens next, you must first understand Wolff's Law, developed by German anatomist and surgeon Julius Wolff. It essentially describes how if force is applied to a bone, over time the bone will remodel itself to resist the force and become denser and stronger. Martial artists use this principle to condition their knuckles by breaking boards. The inverse is also true, that if the load on a bone is decreased, the bone will become thinner and weaker. This can be seen in hospital patients on prolonged bedrest whose bones become frail and fragile.

Diane begins swinging her leg forward when, all of a sudden, Suzanne steps directly in front of Pudge with her legs straddled. Diane cannot stop the momentum of her leg, when, BOOM! Professor Springer has missed her intended target and has instead kicked Suzanne in the crotch. Everyone screams, and students can be heard yelling words like "Oh my God!" and "Shit!" but mostly a chorus of the sound "Oooooooo!" is heard.

The result is not as expected though. Suzanne did not appear harmed and still stood like a statue after the kick. Diane on the other hand lets out a yelp, like a wounded animal or dog that just had its tail stepped on, and drops to the floor in agony. It was because of Wolff's Law.

Diane has never exercised and has a slight frame, so most of her bones were osteoporotic and brittle. Suzanne, for the past few weeks, had been getting her pussy pounded by Patrick, so her pubic bones had become thick and strong in response. Diane just broke her foot on Suzanne's steel snatch!

Suzanne took a bullet for Pudge and Mr. Hardwick could now see that Suzy was not the fragile snowflake that he suspected she might have been. In turns out, she's quite the rebel badass herself. In fact, looking at what she had done, he sees her for the superhero she most certainly is...Powerful Pussy Woman!

It sounds ridiculous, but in his eyes, she had proven that she had evolved as a human being to be stronger than he ever thought possible. She didn't just have a crotch as hard as cement, but she showed real courage by standing up to her Professor to save a student she didn't even really like. She did it not through her words, or by tattling on her, but through action. It showed real character.