My Happiness || Kusuo Saiki X Reader

|2| My Name Is...

<Your POV>

I should introduce myself to let you all know me a little bit so please bare with me.

My name is (Your Full Name) and I come from a very wealthy family, well, not family. My father is very rich. He owns a very successful company or works at one, I'm not sure as he never really talks to me about it.

Now talking about family, the only family member I know is my father...

Any who! Because for his job, he needs to travel a lot. Like a lot. I barely know anything about my father. It's sort of like he doesn't even know he has a daughter but that's fine too because whenever he comes home from his trip, he spends time with me, well, he stays in the same room as me as he takes a few calls.

Okay, you can scratch that. Honestly, I feel like I live in a big house on my own. It was like this even when I was a kid. My dad would hire a nanny for me who was like a mother to me. I don't even know who my real mother is or what happened to her or if she's even alive.

Honestly, it sucks. Once I was at the age that I didn't need a nanny, I had babysitters instead and when I came of age that I could take care of myself, I end up being all alone.

You would think that I would have maids or butlers and all that because I'm wealthy but having people in the house you live in does not make you any less lonely. They work for the money and I don't want to feel lonely even though there's people around me, that just makes things so much more depressing.

I told my father that I didn't need anyone in the house to take care of me, that I can do it myself and instead of being the father that would say to his daughter that he doesn't want her to be at home alone, he just said okay and left.

A part of me wanted him to say that he doesn't want me to be alone, that he'll be worried about me but no, he just said, "Okay, if that's what you want."

Sometimes I even forget that I even have a father but it's okay, I guess. I mean, I learned so much just on being on my own. I learned how to cook, how to draw, how to paint, how to make clothes, how hair style, almost everything to keep me entertained.

I want to say I'm normal but I'm not, sadly. I get good grades, always land on the top five or threes. Just whatever to please my father because getting good grade means I make my father proud and he gets to come home and a part of me wants him to.

But my father has a secret he's keeping from me, a secret he thought he would be able t keep from me for how long he pleases but it's sad that his daughter is a genius when it matters. I found out his secret but a part of me wants to continue to be delusional and believe it's not true.

You're probably wondering what the secret is, well, you'll find out later in the chapters but all I could say it's not a good one. A secret that completes breaks me.

But what can I do?

Life likes to hit you were it hurts more.

Which is why I want to die.

Yes, I'm your 'normal' suicidal girl. But I don't cut myself or anything like that, I honestly don't see the point in it. It just hurts and won't do the work. As much as I want to die, I want to make it quick.

I have tried many times before but for whatever reason, nothing takes my life. Something always interferes like for example, I actually tried to cut myself but not to make a scar, oh no, I cut deep into my wrist where it would kill me. 

I mean, I would bleed out to death and voila, I'm dead.

But nope, God decided that I should live another day because for some reason, the neighbours heard a scream or something in my house so they called the cops, they came, found me in the in the bathtub bleeding from my wrist as I did cut my wrist from both hands, you know, so I guarantee that I do die but the cops got the parametric and long story short, I lived.

But wanna know the sad part? They contacted my father and he came to see me a few days later and if any parent got a call from the hospital saying how their kid cut themselves, so in other words, tried to commit suicide, you would think they would rush in to check up on you and tell you how much they love you or care for you or something in that order right?

Haha... Well, not my father. Oh no, sir. My father walked in the hospital like if he was walking in the office. He asked for me and even the nurses and doctors were surprised to not see a single worry on his face, maybe he's a guy who has a hard time expressing himself? 

No, that's not the case either. But then again, I barely know the guy, know my own father so maybe he is, so I thought. But wanna know what happened to when he saw me?

He was angry.

Yup. Said how I was an idiot and how much coming here caused him problems at work and wanna know what I did?

I laughed and apologized for being an idiot.

He sighed, paid for the bills and left to go back on his trip while I head home.

I wonder why God didn't let me die there? Did he want me to see that?

I tried again and again and there's always something interfering, just like my first day of school. I got some poison that was in the nurses office and when I was going to leave with it so that I can use it and end my life quickly, some guys walk in and started being weird.

I'll be honest, it was entertaining but I can't stay for too long so when I was able to leave, I left. I checked my pocket to get the poison and found something else inside of it which confused me. I did grab the right bottle, I know I did.

Well, it didn't matter because my body just decided to go back and get it but I wasn't really thinking. Did you know, I trained my mind to just let my body move on it's own without thinking. I learned how to because thinking too much can be a bother. 

I mean, committing suicide can be a real challenge so many like to say. Some like to say it's really brave of people because it's scary and I don't want to have any second thoughts so I just let it happen. I let my body do it without thinking and I'm okay with that.

My next try was getting that snake to bit me but that failed. 

Why is it that death always go to the people who don't want it and when some people do, AKA me, it doesn't come. Where's the logic?

What's the point of me being alive either way? It's like I mean something or some shit but... I'm just... I don't know? Not worth it, I guess? 

If I were someone happy who has a good life, a family I can see everyday, friends to hang out with then I can consider myself lucky because God makes it hard for me to die so he's by my side but I don't find this lucky, not at all.

I wonder if I did something in my past life to deserve this.

Well, that got dark...

Let's go with something light and... Joyful?

Let's restart, shall we?

My name is (Your Full Name). I have a wonderful father who cares about me a lot. I'm a straight A student that can do almost or maybe everything. My mother died while giving birth to me, rest in peace mom.

I love sweets and animals but no cat, I'm sadly allergic to cats. Had to know that the hard way and I once thought that If I get a cat and start rubbing it all over my face so that I could---

Um, forgot what I just said there. 

As I was saying... Oh, right! I'm also a very lucky person! Whenever something bad happens to me, someone comes to the rescue. Isn't that great?

I never had a boyfriend boyfriend. I mean, I did find that there are some cute guys out there but I'm completely... innocent? Well, my body is but my mind would say other wise, winky face.

Now let's see, what else is there....

Well, I look like a potato but to some I can look good or not. I guess it just depends on my mood. I'm not perfect but I'm okay with that because I'm me. I'm in great health because I have a father who always makes sure I'm okay and healthy.

Between being an outside person or inside person, I'm an outside person as I just love the world.

I guess that it for me. 

I hope you all learned something about me!