Survival | JJK / KTH / PJM | BTS FANFICTION

Survival - Gift - Chapter 28

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At first, I didn't feel anything inside me while staring at Jiwoo's dead body, but it didn't last. Soon enough, pain began throbbing in my chest at its fullest capacity, causing tears to form inside my eyes. And before I even knew it... my cheeks were soaked in the fluids of my overflowing emotions. I'm really upset.

"W-why did you kill him?!" I angrily sobbed, turning to glare at Namjoon, so he dully averted his eyes to mine.

"He deserves it. You want him dead anyways," Namjoon spoke in a bitter tone while staring at me.

"You let him take the easy way out! He should've suffered before dying!" I cried in anger. He can't die like this! He hasn't paid for what he's done to Yangcha! Panting, I quickly rushed over to Namjoon and tried to snatch the gun out of his hands, but he refused to let go.

"Give it to me-"

"No! Sora!-" Namjoon snapped furiously when I successfully yanked the gun out of his grip.

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG.

The gunfire went off repeatedly, shutting off the sound around us. I shot repetitively at Jiwoo's dead body until the ammo ran out, but the pain inside my chest... didn't ease. WAE?! WHY AM I NOT SATISFIED?!

"It's the pain, isn't it?" Namjoon calmly asked while staring at the random bullet wounds scattered over the corpse.

"It should've been me! I should be the one to kill him! W-wae- WHY DID YOU TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME?!" I screamed at the top of my lungs before turning to smack Namjoon in frustration. I'm going crazy. He didn't suffer enough... Yangcha deserves more than this. I just want my pain to end!

"Killing doesn't end the pain," Namjoon firmly gripped my hands to stop me from striking him.

"Oh really? Do you want to try?" I sharply glared at him.

"You can try. But killing isn't easy, Sora. It doesn't end the pain. Believe me," Namjoon spoke in an empty tone as he stared into my eyes. His eyes... it was genuine... but I'll never trust him, never again. I started chuckling in hysteria, then slapped Namjoon hard across his face, causing him to turn away stiffly.

"Why should I believe you? You're the reason Yangcha died. You manipulate people into believing you'll somehow save them from the terrifying society. These people... they're scared. They want to be happy. They want to live. And you- you give them false hope. You use them until their very last breath. You're fucked up-"

"You don't know anything!" Namjoon howled, grabbing onto my arm in fury. The side of his cheek was burning with the red imprint of my hand.

"Let me go!" I snapped, but he only clutched harder, sending a surge of pain up my arms.

"Why is their death always my fault?! Wae?! They're hopeless. They won't survive anyways. I- I'm the one giving them false hope- you're right. What am I supposed to do?! Tell them they'll die a tragic death?! What does that make me? No matter what they do, they will never make it! All I did was give them an opportunity to choose their own fate!-"

"To kill me?! TO KILL ME?! WAE?! WHAT DID I DO WRONG?!" I snapped when I felt every inch of me raging in anger. WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE ALL OF THIS?!

"THEY CHOOSE TO KILL YOU BECAUSE THEY THINK YOU'RE THE THREAT! THE ONLY CHANCE FOR THEM TO LIVE IS FOR YOU TO DIE! THEY PICKED THEIR OWN PATH, NOT ME! AS LONG AS YOU'RE ALIVE, WE'RE ALL IN DANGER! YOUR EXISTENCE STRENGTHENS YOUR PARENT'S POWER!" Namjoon roared at the top of his lungs.