~ Every sunrise is a blessing, it's an opportunity to learn something new and to create something that can benefit others. It also gives you a chance to make amends. Use it wisely before sunset~
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Aaliyah:
Every day is a fresh start for me, every sunrise is a new chapter in my life waiting to be written.
Every sunrise is a poem written on the earth with words of light, warmth, and love.
I leaned back in my arm chair, watching the sunrise as if it were a private performance intended just for me. And for a moment it felt that way, as if the sun was showing off for my benefit, reminding me how wonderful it is to be young and alive and healthy.
Just for the record, the weather today is calm and sunny and nice, but the air is full of bullshit.
As I made my way to the dining for breakfast, I saw "Zarah" the wayward girl with amateur makeup from last nights party coming out of Ammar's room.
Her attention is focused on something, a phone. She is going through Ammar's phone, the phone I was warned never to touch. Ammar promised to amputate me if I ever go near his phone.
Charisma is the fragrance of the soul. Zarah has got no charisma of any kind, I can imagine her being mildly useful to a low-rank porn director.
Who the hell does she think she is? I asked myself without taking my eyes off the husband hunting slut.
I quickly looked away before she notices me staring, I decided not to confront the girl and stoop down to her level.
I started walking away but something caught my eye, I saw Ammar in his pajamas trailing behind her
Just as I'm about to look away, Ammar's eyes meet mine. They are outlined with a few creases caused from the contagious grin he wears.
"It's not what you think", a voice called out from behind me
"Zarah is just a friend, Welcome to Ammar's world and social circle" Kim said
"A friend? Really?" I asked
"You know Ammar is western oriented and even if he wants to get involved with a girl, Zarah is the last person he would chose. She's more like a sister to him" She told me
She continued "Zarah is a hopeless soul that is in desperate need for saving. And in case you haven't noticed, she's never in her right senses. she's always intoxicated"
"How did she end up in his room?" I asked
"We were both wasted after the party, so Ammar drove us here and i slept in the guest room right next to Zarah. She went there to borrow some clothes because her dress was ruined at the party with Chapman"
"I think It'd be better if I stay as far away from her as possible, or else I'll cause a scene by trying to choke her to death" I said making my way to the dining area
"Ooooh, someone is jealous" Kim said
"Why would I be jealous, she's got nothing that I can possibly be jealous of" I said
"Why do you care? Are you afraid she's going to steal your spotlight? Kim asked teasingly
"No, why would I care? I was never in a spotlight because Ammar has got eyes but it's as though he is completely blind and I am ashamed of anyone who has eyes and still can't see. Besides, I don't even like Ammar" I told Kim
Kim scoffed. "Denial will not save you when Cupid's arrow find its mark."
"If i see Cupid anywhere in the vicinity, I'm ripping his chubby little arms off." I said, as I yanked the door to the living room open. I went straight to the dining area with Kim trailing behind me.
"You see, we tolerate zarah because her family and relatives hold the keys that could open doors to a brighter future" she said
"Are you trying to tell me that she's not even the one with the keys but you all are busy licking her filthy ass in the hopes that she would be your passage link to an unlimited fortune?" I asked
"I don't expect you to understand. But for some of us, being poor is not an option. Life is not easy if you're not Born with a silver spoon in your mouth. Kim replied defeated.
"It's just that she makes me sick to the bones. And this life I'm living now, where I'm being passionately hated by my man is all new and so strange to me. I know what being loved feels like, I miss that feeling" I confessed
"I had a man that loved me a lot you know, a man that would do anything for me, one that could sacrifice everything including his happiness for me"
"And Who is he? Ammar? Kim asked, giving me a confused look
"No, my ex" I answered
I told Kim a few things about my ex. I poured out my heart to her and how I really felt, Leaving her speechless, with her mouth slightly ajar.
Ammar and his zarah joined us at the dinning area, which brought an end to our little hearty conversation.
I quickly made a bowl of cereal and went back to my room and ate alone. I needed peace and I needed space, Zarah's presence seems to be suffocating me
I was about to take a nap when Ammar yanked the door to my room open, I jolted awake and I listened attentively to whatever he has in stock for me.
"Don't you have more important things to do than just sit in the room idle? Like get a job or something?" He asked
"Why Don't you have a life? Why don't you go out or something? Don't you have any friends?" He asked again
I nodded, and I was at the verge of bursting into tears when I heard Ammar throw a barrage of questions at me in quick succession
"Of course you wouldn't have any friends, nobody wants to associated with such a dumb person with a terrible personality" he concluded
"What a worthless woman, You're such a liability"
"In this century, no man would want to bring home a liability. Every man wants a responsible woman that would help him out with his daily expenses, or at least take care of her daily needs"
"Nobody wants to spend the rest of their lives with Someone over dependent, who waits for a man to provide for her and do everything for her. Do you have any shame?"
"Or are you so dumb that you know you'll be fired on your first day at work? Shameless dummy"
"I have a job" I said in a very low and very unconfident voice.
"Whatever, I'm taking zarah home now" he said, and left the room with a satisfying look on his face
The tongue can be an ambassador of the heart, Or a deadly weapon. I realized the devastating power of reckless words, And I began to pray that God would transform my tongue and make my words bring healing and hope to others not pain and sorrow.
I was flooded with so many emotions and one of them was shame. I can endure all kinds of pain, It's shame that eats women whole.
It felt like Ammar pulled out a handgun and shot me in the chest While I was standing helplessly on the lawn and I fell. The bullet hole opened wide and my heart rolled out of my rib cage and down into a flower bed. Blood gushed rhythmically from my open wound,
then from my eyes, my ears, my mouth.
It tasted like salt and failure. The bright red shame of being unloved soaked the grass in front of our house, the bricks of the path, the steps of the porch. My heart spasmed among the peonies like a trout.
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