You Hold My Pieces [completed]

Rejection Or Respect

Listen to : All the things by Trevor Myall

My anger and grief seemed to multiply with each step I took farther from the house. It did not help that my mother followed me out  which left me with no time to get into my car. I started increasing my pace and ended up running away. My heart raced with me as my eyes welled up with tears. The road was blurred ahead of me but I could not stop running, I wept with each step and wiped my tears from time to time. I could hear footsteps behind me but I did not want to turn with the fear that my mother could catch me . I gave it my all but I was beginning to feel suffocated. Not only from running while crying but from the memories that I had wished to erase all my life. I stopped running and closed my eyes breathing in as much air as I could to cool my temper. I felt someone grip me from behind holding me tightly in case I tried to escape. I had no wishes to keep on running because the guilt from not considering my father's feelings engulfed my conscience . He was barely holding up when he tried to break down the news that my mother had returned. I felt ashamed for letting my madness turn me into an inconsiderate fool. All the anger began melting away and I surrendered.

The light scent of watermelon and mint made me feel a little bit of comfort. The wind whistled in the empty street swaying the leaves of the trees and the hedges to create a harmony that was very much depressing. My soul could not conjure strength to fight or ask any questions. I wished I could see the sun set but the dark clouds had invaded the sky. A tear rolled down my eye and I looked up the sky when I felt multiple drops of water hit my skin. Raindrops came falling down like minute bullets shot from the sky to pierce through my soul and wash out the anger I felt. I drew myself closer to him and I was grateful that he never asked any questions or offered me words of comfort. He did not even move or try to make me get up because it was about to rain. I needed to feel every emotion, so I just held onto him and wept on his chest.

" I'm sorry....for....being.... such a mess", I cried out trying to find the right words to say.

" You're not a mess Ronnie. " I heard the sadness in his tone. It broke my heart but I did not know what else to say.

" I just want to go home. " I whispered choking back my tears. I could not humiliate myself more than I had already. Our neighbour would eventually shout out to us to go home and I did not want that situation to play out. He got up first and held his hand out to me. He helped me up and never let go of my hand. He pulled me close as we walked the comfort of our silence soaking wet in the rain.

When I got to the house both my mother and father were nowhere to be found. I went upstairs and called my father to check if he was alright before I could find a change of clothes. He had taken my mom back to her brother's place because she had used an Uber to come here. I knew he did it because he wanted some answers but I feared he would be better off not knowing the truth. I changed into a blue and grey Hoodie and some tights. I searched for some joggers and a t shirt in my father's closet for Kyle to wear while his clothes dried. I could not let him go home in the  pouring rain and more importantly I did not want to be alone. I made a cup of coffee for each of us and put some cookies in a bowl  then placed them on the table. I turned on the TV and searched for a movie to watch. He came into the living room with his hair wet and looking like he belonged in my father's clothes. He smiled softly at me and my heart melted. I turned back to the TV and scowled my face trying to decide what to watch. He grabbed the remote and pressed play on 'Wuthering Heights'. I looked at him with slight shock and he shook his head
"You have a thing for old movies don't you? " he asked hesitantly

" It's a thing for literature. " I could tell he had so many questions he was afraid to ask. So I removed the movie and played my favourite Playlist on Spotify. I took a deep breath after reducing the volume of the music ready to tell him everything .