You Hold My Pieces [completed]

Even If

Listen to : Naked by James Arthur

The chains of society are complex
Everyone wants to be loved back by someone they love and no one wants to be lonely
We want to find "the one"  and eventually settle down
But once you achieve what you thought you've always wanted
The habit of treasure hunting that was embedded during your quest for love resurfaces
And you think to yourself
" This is just too complicated maybe he or she just isn't the one for me. "
And once again you walk down the same road searching for the same kind of love bur with someone different.
It's not hard to be committed, it's just that no one wants the work that comes with it
So we keep on searching for " true love"
But then no one can ever love you the way you want to be loved
So you look back and remember that person that drove you crazy.
The person you loved to hate who was always hurting you and breaking your heart even if you never became anything more than friends
And you start to imagine what it could have been like if you were with that person
You start  trading the one you actually have in your life for a fantasy
Until the rude awakening comes when they have had enough and they close the doors on the walls they've built locking you out of their heart
Most people believe it must have been easier for Adam and Eve because it was just them
But truth is no one has options
You can change your partners the way you change your clothes but you might  never find the one
Nomatter how mad Adam and Eve made each other when they first sinned
They walked the walk of shame together
They realized that they had no one else but each other
Maybe if you realized that when you still had them it would have been better
Or maybe you are just not cut out for settling down
So go ahead and do whatever you like
But don't ever for a second think what society tells you will make you sane
They will always judge you even if you had handled things differently.

The dead silence in the car on our way back home feels toxic. There's a clear contrast between our moods and the way we are glowing. I do not know if Malachi poured his heart out back there or if he was trying to recruit me to be a pawn in this game he and Kyle were playing. I do not understand why he tried to make moves on my when he is dating the enemy. He could have anyone he wants at school but it just had to be her. I am not jealous but Malachi is not trustworthy and I want a stable relationship but I know he will never be able to give me that. Kyle and I like each other and we have a deep connection. I steal a glance at Malachi and imagine his head steaming. He ignores me keeping his eyes on the road before turning on the music. He does not sing along as usual but I know that he is hearing every note because he seems so emotional. It's so ironic how the song that started playing after turning the radio on is James Arthur's Naked.

He drives on for a little while before parking on a bus stop in the middle of nowhere. He opens the door and gets out of the car. I sit there trying to figure out whether to let him cool off or go talk to him. I try to ignore how he sits on the bench under the shade and holds his head in his hands. I feel like the best in me is about to bring out the worst in me because of the guilt I feel. I jump out of the car and go to seat besides him cold and out of words.

" I did everything I could Ron. "

" What? "

" I am sorry for pushing you to hate me. "

" I don't hate you Malachi. I just wish you'd respect my relationship and my wishes. "

" I wish it could be that easy but the best way is if we don't talk to each other after this. "

" What? "

" I can never be just your friend and clearly I'm not what you need. "

" so that's it?"